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Tweak says, "HULA GIRLS!"

michael corner is reluctantly growing up (mlcorner) wrote in pandorarpg,
@ 2011-12-08 18:02:00

Entry tags:

!status: complete, ^date: november 06 2003, character: lavender brown, character: michael corner

Characters: Lavender Brown and Michael Corner
Setting: Lavender's flat, 6 November 2003, 7:42pm
Rating: PG
Summary: Michael is going to get Lavender to let someone in if he has to force himself in—which he just might.

Michael was really worried about Lavender after writing back and forth with her in the journals. She didn't sound anything like herself and he really didn't know exactly what was wrong with her but with the nightmares he just wasn't sure how stable she was and if she should be on her own. She'd never admit to anything otherwise but that didn't really matter to him just then; he wanted to know that she was safe and the only way to do that was to go to her flat and see for himself and stay with her if need be.

His original plan was to try and con her into going to the meeting but he wasn't really thinking about that anymore after seeing how she reacted to him in the margins. She seemed so unwound and the way she was talking about dying, he was just so worried for her. He didn't live that far from her now and the walking did him some good to clear his head. He knew she wouldn't react well to his storming her place like this, but he would deal with the consequences as they came. Michael stopped at the cafe to grab some food for them both before continuing toward her flat. He had to hope that she would at least open the door for him so that he could push his way in before she slammed it in his face or he may not even get in—but he had to get in. He had to be there for her. He didn't care how angry she was, it was better than her being alone.

He raised a hand and knocked quietly, hoping that it would make her think it was someone else. Michael was generally a loud and boisterous knocker. If she didn't open the door, he'd have to try and break in. What if she was hurt or in some sort of trouble? He'd have to do it, for her sake.

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mlcorner
2011-12-11 11:53 pm UTC (link)

"You're Lavender Brown! You were attacked by a werewolf and now you think that you're going to become one even though you haven't yet! You aren't going to! Yes, you may have some differences from the rest of us because of it but you're not a sodding werewolf!"

Michael raised an eyebrow as she mentioned him, waiting for her to say something but she didn't. "No one told you to hide away, Lavender. That was your own decision. No one is afraid of you but you. No one thinks you're dangerous but you. No one thinks you're any less beautiful than you were before but you. I've told you that a million times before but you never listen to me. And then you try to make up some huge story about my animagus form being a wolf having something to do with you when I'm sorry, love, my form only has to do with me and my inner self. It would have been a wolf no matter had I been with you or not. And still, the only one of us that regrets that is you."

Michael looked down at the journal when she mentioned doing something and then back at her. "We're all scared, Lav. And maybe we're all here to do something about it, but you certainly didn't just survive so that you could die this time. How is that going to help us now?"

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lavishly
2011-12-12 12:25 am UTC (link)

She was scared of herself, of what she could become even five years later and it really was like she said - she was a mess. Lavender knew it, but that didn't do a thing to change any of it. "You're all just too nice," she said because that was the only explanation she could accept. "And I'm not the same. It's not just the things people see." It was her nightmares, the horrible urges to act on them and even the fact that she was no longer a vegetarian.

Lavender knew that she was healthy now, and as her healer reminded her every month she needed to make sure she stayed healthy. Because she was an unknown, and it was best not to take unnecessary risks.

She looked over at him at his last question about surviving only to die now and really there was only one answer to that. "Harry did." Her voice sounded small now, smaller than it had in a long time. It felt like they were back in school, only it was worse now because of that simple fact. Harry Potter had been killed. What made them think that any of them had a chance now? "And maybe it's just...exhausting." Her body shook, those tears coming a bit faster now, but maybe she needed to cry. Not that she knew what she needed. Lavender was all over the place right now. "Every single day is just exhausting and knowing that it could actually mean something even if that means death, well maybe that makes it a little better."

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mlcorner
2011-12-12 12:55 am UTC (link)

Michael shook his head. "So we are all liars then? For Merlin's sake, Lavender, why can't you just accept what people tell you? And there's something more to it, then say so instead of being cryptic about it? No one can know anything about you if you aren't going to let anyone in. That's the whole problem you've had for the last five years. Maybe that's why you're such a mess; you could probably use your bloody friends who miss you."

Michael threw his hands in the air. "Harry isn't the only sodding one capable of doing anything around here. Voldemort and Harry were wrapped around one another and yeah, we needed Harry for that, but this hasn't got anything to do with Harry. This Pandora Zurlo woman, if that's who it is, isn't doing this because of Harry, alright? We need more than just him and we've still got Hermione and Ron besides." Well he knew that Weasley was a bit of a train wreck right now so he might not be of much use but hopefully Hermione would still be.

When Lavender started to cry he approached her again to try and hug her once more, because it was the only thing he could think to do for her. When he spoke again it was much quieter and soothing. "I know that it is soon for all this to be happening, but I know that there is much more that you can accomplish for us besides dying for someone else. Besides, your death isn't going to prevent someone else dying so far as we can tell. We have to figure this shite out—that's what's going to keep people from dying from this. If I could take this on for you, Lavender, I would. I swear that I would." He sighed, because he really hated that she had to deal with these memories on top of the moon and whatever else she might be feeling.

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lavishly
2011-12-12 02:30 am UTC (link)

Despite wanting to, she didn't move away from him this time. Her guards were down as the tears she refused to let fall earlier came. So, she let herself fall into him again, conflicted as she was having him here helped.

What she felt above all else was alone and lost in the darkness. Even Harry was gone now and he had always been more of a symbol of hope and safety for her than a person. And then so much of her life felt wrapped in those readings. In many ways she was already the moon and the three of swords. Lavender wasn't even sure how it could be worse than what it was. So she was looking for something positive to take away from it.

It was a minute or two before she was calm enough to speak and offer him some sort of explanation. Swallowing, she leaned back to look him in the eyes this time. "I just feel like I'm Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde." It was close as she could get to describing what she was going through without actually describing it and it felt far too appropriate. Even how it all ended for him.

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mlcorner
2011-12-12 03:04 am UTC (link)

Michael held her and rubbed her back while she cried, not wanting to say anything because he was beginning to run out of words that would even mean anything of consequence. When she looked at him and spoke, he wasn't really sure what to say. He could kind of understand what she meant, in a way, but she would not ever be capable of evil. He lifted his hand and cupped her cheek. "Lav, even if you were a werewolf, that doesn't make you part evil. Professor Lupin was one and he was nothing like Greyback. You have a choice in the matter, to still be a good person, even if some things are a bit different for you."

Michael bit his lip for a moment, wondering if he should say the next bit or not. He knew it might make her angry, but he was only trying to help. He pulled his hand away from her face and looked down at his feet, rubbing the back of his neck and said, "Look. If you've ever any questions about...well anything about wolves in general, you can ask me if you want. I dunno if it would help you at all, but if you wanted to know, you can ask, okay? It's not the same thing, but... I don't know. I thought I'd say—sorry..."

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lavishly
2011-12-12 03:23 am UTC (link)

For a moment, standing that close together, all she could think about was kissing him. It would have been simple to close the physical distance and take it. Even a little rusty, it would have been familiar, maybe even easy and possibly for all the wrong reasons the last time happened. But she wanted it then and she wanted it now.

Except he went and stole the moment before it was full formulated, pulling away and babbling about wolves. She couldn't help but feel a bit rejected by that. It was stupid, but she never claimed to be smart. She let out a long sigh, wiping her tears away while he looked away.

"Hey," she said wanting to catch his attention while she still had some grip on her courage. "You have no reason to say yes or anything, but would you- do you think you could stay?" If he wanted to help, that was what she needed. Lavender might have faced her nightmares alone for the past couple of nights, but it was only getting worse as they got closer to the full moon. And she really was exhausted from not sleeping. She didn't know if it would fix anything, but it might feel better if she didn't have to go through it alone.

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mlcorner
2011-12-12 03:33 am UTC (link)

Michael's head shot up then and he looked at her, a bit surprised because he never really expected her to ask him that, though he had planned on offering. Not for any physical contact, really, just so that he could be there, in case she might need him for anything, because he honestly hadn't been able to really do anything for anyone since all this had started and if there was something he could do, he'd certainly try.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course I will. Do you want me to stay on the couch or—" He wasn't going to overstep his welcome in anyway or make her uncomfortable. He just wanted to help her in whatever way she felt she needed the help. It's not like he minded sleeping on the sofa anyway.

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lavishly
2011-12-12 04:11 am UTC (link)

Sometimes for Lavender, the biggest thing she needed was physical contact. She didn't let people close to her because she didn't know how to deal with that, especially when she was attracted to them. So, tonight would be a bit of a leap, but one she couldn't imagine not taking. Just because she had yelled and cried didn't make anything better, it was all still there floating around.

Another version of her might have rolled her eyes and made a comment about him being ridiculous. Except that girl didn't exist. The one that was standing in her living room, instead took a moment to answer, afraid to ask even if he'd already offered. "The sofa really isn't as comfortable as it looks." And it sort of defeated the purpose of him staying if it was in the other room. "And it wouldn't fit two people."

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mlcorner
2011-12-12 04:37 am UTC (link)

Michael smiled a little at that because it sounded a little ridiculous to him, like she was telling him it was obvious but he wasn't quite getting it because he didn't want to push her. Not to mention he still wasn't sure exactly what she was asking for yet. He moved forward, toward her, and pushed some of her hair back from her face. It had been a long night for the both of them, he felt fairly exhausted from talking and yelling and thinking and he should probably pick up the things he'd knocked on the floor but he was wondering now if he should do this—if it's what she wanted. His hand was still on her cheek and he used it to lift her chin and lean down toward her lips and kiss her questioningly.

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lavishly
2011-12-12 05:57 am UTC (link)

It took her a moment to realize what was happening. Lavender was used to getting what she wanted anymore - not when what she wanted involved kissing or something more. Eventually she gave herself permission to kiss him back. She wrapped her arms around his neck, reviling in this moment. It was just like what she had thought. Only it gentler, hesitant even, and over far too soon. But maybe that was a good thing, maybe she was learning too.

Or maybe she was just bone tired. Lavender closed her eyes, burying her face in the side of his neck. She stayed like that for a minute more, just breathing in and out.

"Can we just go to bed, now? To sleep, or at least try to sleep because it probably won't be all that peaceful." She clarified just so they were both on the same page. Lavender had no clue what sort of night they were in, not having been in this situation before.

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mlcorner
2011-12-13 04:59 am UTC (link)

Michael held her for a while, not really that interested in trying to snog her after she put her face into his neck. Not that he would mind that, but he wasn't so fixated on that happening really, so when she spoke he was not disappointed with her conclusion.

"Yeah, love, let's go. I'll be here. Even if I'm no help at all, I'll be here anyway." He didn't know if she would have the nightmares or not or if the moon was going to give her trouble sleeping too, but he could only hope that his being there might be some sort of comfort for her, though it might not be any at all. Well, he would still be there regardless.

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