InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "BRUSH YOUR TEETH"

michael corner is reluctantly growing up (mlcorner) wrote in pandorarpg,
@ 2011-12-08 18:02:00

Entry tags:

!status: complete, ^date: november 06 2003, character: lavender brown, character: michael corner

Characters: Lavender Brown and Michael Corner
Setting: Lavender's flat, 6 November 2003, 7:42pm
Rating: PG
Summary: Michael is going to get Lavender to let someone in if he has to force himself in—which he just might.

Michael was really worried about Lavender after writing back and forth with her in the journals. She didn't sound anything like herself and he really didn't know exactly what was wrong with her but with the nightmares he just wasn't sure how stable she was and if she should be on her own. She'd never admit to anything otherwise but that didn't really matter to him just then; he wanted to know that she was safe and the only way to do that was to go to her flat and see for himself and stay with her if need be.

His original plan was to try and con her into going to the meeting but he wasn't really thinking about that anymore after seeing how she reacted to him in the margins. She seemed so unwound and the way she was talking about dying, he was just so worried for her. He didn't live that far from her now and the walking did him some good to clear his head. He knew she wouldn't react well to his storming her place like this, but he would deal with the consequences as they came. Michael stopped at the cafe to grab some food for them both before continuing toward her flat. He had to hope that she would at least open the door for him so that he could push his way in before she slammed it in his face or he may not even get in—but he had to get in. He had to be there for her. He didn't care how angry she was, it was better than her being alone.

He raised a hand and knocked quietly, hoping that it would make her think it was someone else. Michael was generally a loud and boisterous knocker. If she didn't open the door, he'd have to try and break in. What if she was hurt or in some sort of trouble? He'd have to do it, for her sake.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

lavishly
2011-12-11 06:11 pm UTC (link)

She scrunched her face up letting out a sound of disgust. On most day she could take a bit of teasing about the fact that she practiced and believed in divination. But that didn't feel like this and today was not most days, far from it.

"So, I don't have a brain or two hands? That I'm just some foolish girl who doesn't know anything?" Lavender stood up from the couch, wanting to put space between them now before she started hitting him again. "That I can't be both - interesting in figuring something out but also practice a legitimate branch of magic?"

She was an ocean of emotions tonight, the waves surging on the shore. And she felt absolutely no reason to apologize for it, not tonight at least. Not when this started with her throwing carrots at him and he followed her into her home. But maybe they had come to a parting of ways. "You know, I sort of expected better of you, silly me, but as that's clearly not the case and if you're going to be this way, maybe you should just go."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mlcorner
2011-12-11 07:53 pm UTC (link)

Michael groaned loudly. This was not at all the message he was trying to get across but of course this was how she was going to take it. He never had any luck with this sort of shite and when it came to Lavender, it seemed like everything he said got worse and worse by the second. "No, shite, Lav, that is not what I meant! I was just telling you that I—bloody hell!" Michael leaned forward on the sofa and grabbed two fist fulls of his hair, pulling at it in frustration. He stayed this way for a moment, until finally he ran his hands over his face, rubbing vigorously, trying to figure out how the hell he was supposed to amend what he said in the way he had meant it for her to take it.

"I wasn't saying that you don't have any of those things, alright? All I was saying is that we have these tools and we can use them to change whatever future your Divination might say we've got ahead of us. I wasn't even talking about you then!" Michael sighed and stood up as well. "For Merlin's sake, Lavender, you honestly think I would say something like that to you? I don't agree with you about Divination, but I respect you and I respect your opinions. You are far beyond foolish and like I told you, we need your help if we are going to beat this thing because we are only as far as we are thanks to you." He was walking toward her as he spoke, reaching out to her in his explanation to pull her into another hug.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lavishly
2011-12-11 09:19 pm UTC (link)

"Well, you just did, so yeah, I do think that you could say those sort of things about me even if you like didn't mean it exactly, it was still there."

Lavender stepped away from him avoiding a second attempt at a hug. He had snuck up on her last time, but this time she was watching him. "And you say it respect me and my opinions, but why not when I say that it's inevitable? Yes, the three of swords in a future spot can be a warning sign, but when paired with the wheel of fortune. It means what is going to happen, is going to happen."

The things were already in motion and nothing was happening that it could change it. And maybe she was caught up in the worst possible situation, but she wasn't known to be the most logical or rational person. With a sigh she walked around the sofa, putting that large piece of furniture between them. "And God, Michael, do ever stop to think that if you accept fate you might actually be able to do something?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mlcorner
2011-12-11 09:58 pm UTC (link)

"No, Lavender, I said something that you took the wrong way. That's not even what I meant, you're just pulling whatever meaning you want to hear out of my words. If I thought you were being foolish then I would just bloody say so; I don't like playing games." He felt his shoulders slump because he was beginning to lose his fight with her. He was going to just let her have her way if she was going to start saying what he did and didn't mean by things.

Michael threw his hands in the air at her words. He was frustrated now. He was trying to understand her logic but he wasn't getting it and the last bit she spoke pushed him over the edge, hit him in a tender spot he wasn't willing to ever go to. Michael didn't get angry often, but he was angry now and he wheeled to face her, standing behind the sofa. "Accept it? You want me to accept fate? You want me to just be okay with the inevitability of people around me dying for no fucking reason? People I care about, people I love? You think that I should have just accepted that my sister was going to die 13 years ago and then maybe I would have been more useful in saving her? Is that the answer, Lavender?"

He turned toward the table with the cards still laid out over it and swiped them off of it in one angry sweep, not even watching as they scattered randomly to the floor around the room. Michael was looking at her again and now he had tears pricking his eyes as he spoke. "You think this shite would have made me a better brother? Would have helped me save her? Because I don't think so, Lav! If it's going to happen, then so be it. All I know is I'm going to fight it until my dying breath because I will not lose anymore people that I love to something so senseless again! Just like I refuse to lose you even if you've already given up on yourself!"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lavishly
2011-12-11 10:28 pm UTC (link)

"Sometimes people do die for no good reason!" She was yelling now, although she wasn't sure when it had escalated this far, maybe they had always been here, but just covered in calmer tones. Except the moment her cards went flying she just decided to let it all go. "And sometimes monsters attack and life is never the same again, ripping the bottom right out from under you."

She was shaking now. Lavender could feel her hands tremor, but she stood strong, trying to ignore the tears she could see in his eyes. "The big moments are always going to come because somethings are written and you can't change those, but that doesn't mean you can't be prepared. Because how we act after them and hell even how we face them, that determines what sort of person you are."

Lavender looked away from him, walking over to her side table to pull out the journal. That little book held all of the original copies of the database and all her notes so far around what was happening, including her readings. "And I would give my life a dozen times over if it meant that even one of them got to live." And because she hadn't throw enough things at him tonight, she chucked her journal at him. "Because I'm not living, I'm barely worth fighting for. I had my big moment, nearly died in the process. But I survived, big bloody deal, because we all know that I'm a complete mess and it's pretty clear exactly what sort of person I am now."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mlcorner
2011-12-11 11:06 pm UTC (link)

"Well I won't accept that! Not now, not ever!" No one should die for any reason except for having grown old and lived a full life and Michael didn't want to see it any other way.

He didn't know why she was telling him that because he already knew that. That's what he had been saying all along. That's what he had been saying to her, had been thinking that she was not doing, but now he was beginning to see he might have been getting it wrong. Maybe she wasn't just giving up because of the prediction, maybe she was attempting to do something similar to what Michael was: give up her life for others' lives that she thought were worth more than hers. But that didn't make sense to him because Lavender had more potential than he did, so how could she be thinking like that?

Michael didn't even bother to try and catch the journal, he was too busy trying to listen to what she was saying. He side-stepped it and it hit the ground next to his feet and scattered pages on the floor. He shook his head more and more as she went on, not believing the words she spoke. It was ridiculous, every word of it, yet he knew that she believed it all. "Alright, I said I'd tell you when you were being foolish. Well you are. So you're a mess, who gives a bloody shite? That doesn't mean that your life isn't worth anything. That doesn't make you any less worthy of living than the rest of, Lavender. And what the fuck do you mean, 'what sort of person you are now?' Just what the hell do you think you've become, exactly?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

lavishly
2011-12-11 11:26 pm UTC (link)

There were times, and tonight was definitely one of them, when Lavender didn't really know what she was saying or what she was saying those things. Words just came spewing out of her mouth in things that somewhat resembled sentences. It wasn't that any of them were untrue, just that it was a lot of different things at once and not always making the most sense.

"Except for the part where it totally does." And this was far too honest and a conversation that was a few years delayed. "I'm not right and no one really knows what I am right now." Sure there was Bill Weasley who she knew had also been attacked by Greyback and lived to tell the tale, but she didn't think it was the same. He had people, a wife who wasn't exactly human herself and the biggest bit for her was that he was a male. He didn't already have monthly cycles and hormones to deal with on top of other monthly cycles.

"Everyone says that this should be the time of your life, where you get to make mistakes and try new things. I hide in the back of a bakery most of my life and you..." Lavender shook her head not sure if she wanted to admit that out loud. He could probably assume it given how she reacted to him some five years ago.

"So I'm scared about what's happening, about not having Harry to save us again, but at the same time, I don't know." She paused swallowing as tears started to well up in eyes. "There's sort of a calmness because what if this is what I'm supposed to do. Like I survived Greyback so I could be here now and fix this, stop it from getting worse because at least that would be something."

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -