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lavender is sure that living is worse (lavishly) wrote in pandorarpg,

"Sometimes people do die for no good reason!" She was yelling now, although she wasn't sure when it had escalated this far, maybe they had always been here, but just covered in calmer tones. Except the moment her cards went flying she just decided to let it all go. "And sometimes monsters attack and life is never the same again, ripping the bottom right out from under you."

She was shaking now. Lavender could feel her hands tremor, but she stood strong, trying to ignore the tears she could see in his eyes. "The big moments are always going to come because somethings are written and you can't change those, but that doesn't mean you can't be prepared. Because how we act after them and hell even how we face them, that determines what sort of person you are."

Lavender looked away from him, walking over to her side table to pull out the journal. That little book held all of the original copies of the database and all her notes so far around what was happening, including her readings. "And I would give my life a dozen times over if it meant that even one of them got to live." And because she hadn't throw enough things at him tonight, she chucked her journal at him. "Because I'm not living, I'm barely worth fighting for. I had my big moment, nearly died in the process. But I survived, big bloody deal, because we all know that I'm a complete mess and it's pretty clear exactly what sort of person I am now."