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Tweak says, "Surrender Dorothy!"

Justin Finch-Fletchley (basilisk_srvivr) wrote in pandorarpg,
@ 2011-11-15 18:58:00

Entry tags:

!status: complete, ^date: november 03 2003, character: ernie macmillan, character: justin finch-fletchley

Who: Justin FF & Ernie Macmillan
What: Remembering fallen friends
Where: Hogwarts, Battle of Hogwarts Memorial
When: November 3 - 11:40 AM

Where would we all be without those fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers
The friends I've made, the long lost lovers
I wouldn't be who I am today
If not for those I've loved along the way

Justin stood before the memorial that had been placed on the Hogwarts grounds. This one wasn't for Harry, however - this had been put up after the Battle of Hogwarts, to commemorate those that had fallen, the lives that had ceased that day. Justin had wanted to take a moment here before being faced with Harry's funeral, feeling the need to gather his jumbled emotions together and make some sense of them all.

His father's name wasn't there, nor were the many who had died or been Kissed throughout that year of hell. So much more than those lives had been taken, and just when everyone had begun thinking life could be lived again... more happened. Not just Harry now, but Zacharias' father.

His eyes traced the names, and with every one he searched his memory. Some were classmates, some mere strangers. At least one was the name of someone Justin remembered quite fondly, and intimately. His fingers reached out, tracing the letters C-R-E-E-V-E-Y.

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ernsthename
2011-11-16 04:25 am UTC (link)

Ernie smiled at his friend, grateful that things would be back to normal, and redirected his attention back to the monument.

His eyes fell upon a name he had a story for. He had a story for at least a few. "Professor Lupin--," he said taking note of his former teacher's name but still feeling old habits kick in when it came to speaking his former teacher's name. It was like that for all of his former professors. "--I remembered that the second he brought a magical creature to class I was afraid he'd be like Lockhart and set pixies loose at some point. I'm glad that wasn't the case. I actually shouldn't have passed a paper towards the end of the term either, since I forgot to hand it in. He just let me know about it when I was leaving the Great Hall one day after lunch and marked it as if nothing happened at all. And you can't forget Neville's boggart..."

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basilisk_srvivr
2011-11-16 04:35 am UTC (link)

"And his Riddikulus - Snape in the dress and that hat," Justin finished with a smile. "That got me through many a Potions class."

His eyes glanced back to the long list of names, and his eyes refixed themselves to the one he'd been tracing earlier. "Did I ever tell you about me and Colin?" He bit his bottom lip, remembering the boy that had been his friend and more, and his feelings upon finding out after the war was over that the younger boy had not only gone back to fight, but hadn't made it.

"We were in sixth year, he was in fifth, and I'd caught him watching some of the quidditch blokes coming out of the locker rooms. He nearly panicked, was worried I'd hit him for finding out, but I didn't of course. We talked, and..." He smiled sadly. "He was definitely talented with more than a camera."

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	ernsthename 2011-11-16 04:56 am UTC (link)
	"No, you haven't," Ernie said looking at his friend's expressions shift through different shades of sadness. "Although I'm surprised that I hadn't figured that out. It's probably better that I hadn't figured out half of the stuff that goes on at Hogwarts. Just since I was prefect back then." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

basilisk_srvivr
2011-11-16 05:06 am UTC (link)

"Nobody knew," Justin said with a shrug. "It wasn't a relationship or anything, just a little friendly exploration. He didn't think anyone would fancy him for a shag, and I proved him otherwise. He was cute, thought far too little of himself..."

He looked down to where his feet were digging into the grass with the toes of his shoes. "Don't hate me, but... I'm glad I wasn't at the Battle. That I didn't have to see him, see any of them dead. I'd rather remember them all the way I do."

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ernsthename
2011-11-16 05:21 am UTC (link)

Ernie smiled at his friend's musings, just since it was Justin being himself.

"It was just something that had to be done," Ernie said simply. "It just made sense at the time. Half of the stuff we did that year was absolute madness, but it made sense at the time. I remember most of the Battle, but don't remember that much about that part, the direct aftermath--anyways. I was just grateful that--I couldn't imagine being alone when the world was that mad."

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basilisk_srvivr
2011-11-16 05:26 am UTC (link)

Justin nodded and looked up, trying to meet his best mate's eyes.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, though. I'm sorry I was such a coward, too afraid to come out of hiding and find out what had happened to my friends."

He blew out a puff of air and looked up at the sky, spotting a bird flying overhead. He squinted. Correction, someone flying on a broomstick. He wishes he could be up there right now, far away from the cares of the world.

"And now Harry's gone, and Zach's lost his dad. He's a prat most of the time, but he doesn't deserve this. I'm seriously tempted to lock myself in my room at the manor and never come out."

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ernsthename
2011-11-16 05:41 am UTC (link)

"It wasn't an easy time for anyone," Ernie said. "You were just doing what you had to do then and I--or anyone who is sane and worth listening to--would never begrudge you for being out of Hogwarts that year." He placed both his hands on Justin's cheeks to move his head slightly so that their eyes would meet. "You need to promise me that you'd forgive yourself one day." He released Justin and continued. "I wish I could've known what happened to you though. I--we--were so worried about you. Just since we had some news of what was going on out there."

"And you haven't locked yourself in yet, which counts for something."

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basilisk_srvivr
2011-11-16 05:55 am UTC (link)

Justin grimaced when Ernie demanded the promise. It was something he would like to give, but not something he knew if he could give. "I'll try," he said, for it was all he could do. "In a way, I'm glad I didn't try to get word to you. They killed dad trying to get to me. I couldn't let them catch you contacting me, thinking you were a sympathizer and killing you too."

He nodded, knowing that no matter how bad he felt, as long as he had good friends still alive, he wouldn't be able to justify completely hiding away from the world.

"Will you sit with me? During the service, I mean." He tried for a playful, manly punch to Ernie's shoulder. "I've been mooching off Dean and Seamus for a couple of days now, and I think I've worn out my welcome." The words were false - his friends would never turn him away - but Justin had ever been happy with showing emotions without quite talking about them.

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ernsthename
2011-11-16 06:16 am UTC (link)

"Good," Ernie said, to Justin's concession to at least try. He knew that a number of those who lived through those times had experienced some degree of guilt. He had often fought with it too as he had been extremely fortunate. "I know it's not easy."

"Sure," Ernie said. "I hadn't quite spoken to her today, but Hann may join us." He looked at the ground for a moment before admitting some sort of development from the other day. "We've decided to take a bit of a break. I hope she'd be alright."

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basilisk_srvivr
2011-11-16 08:14 pm UTC (link)

Justin nodded. "If we see her, I'll grab her and bring her over. Today, none of us should be alone for this."

He lifted a hand and placed it on Ernie's elbow. "I'm sorry, I really am. I know you loved her, and she you. But... yeah, sometimes you need to find out who you are too, and all that sentimental stuff." He let out a puff of laughter. "Though who am I to judge, I don't do the whole love thing. Though if you want to talk, I'm always here."

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	ernsthename 2011-11-17 02:10 am UTC (link)
	"I guess you're right," Ernie said with a long sigh. It being normal or understandable by other parties didn't mean it was easy. "Thanks," he smiled sadly. He knew that it wasn't a time to get so wrapped up about things that were trivial in the grand scheme... Well compared to the reason they were at Hogwarts, 'taking a break' was nothing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	basilisk_srvivr 2011-11-17 03:36 am UTC (link)
	"No problem," Justin replied. He looked around them and noticed that more and more people had been arriving. "Come on, let's get a couple of seats before they're all taken. I sure don't want to stand for this." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ernsthename 2011-11-19 05:10 am UTC (link)
	"Alright," Ernie said snapping out of the line of thought he was heading down. "I don't think I would either, and I don't expect it to be a small gathering either." (Reply to this) (Parent)

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