InsaneJournal

Tweak says, " Justin can stay."

Travis Marks (travis_marks) wrote in omega_reality,
@ 2013-05-20 09:17:00

Entry tags:

*complete, 2013 05, character: thomas hammond, character: travis marks

RP: Travis and TJ
Who: Travis and TJ
Where: their room
When: Monday, May 20, 2013 at 0115
Summary: Travis has problems sleeping and J doesn't seem to be doing any better

Things that he's learned in the past twenty-four hours. Getting shot hurt like a bitch. Having surgery with little to no anesthesia hurt like a motherfucker. Recovering at home with none of the nice drugs that keep you sedated sucked ass. All around, he could have done without the lessons he'd just learned. On the other hand, the idea of being on most drugs was scary.

He knew how well you could feel, how much you suddenly didn't care about anything, but the next hit. No, it was best if he didn't have any of those nice drugs. That knowledge didn't make the pain disappear though and he simply couldn't get to sleep. He didn't even want to think about getting up and peeing, but he knew that it would happen sooner rather than later with the IV bag still in his arm.

Travis hadn't expected to go home today. In a way the safe house would have been better. Maura was a doctor. Maybe she wasn't used to live patients, and she certainly wasn't a nurse, but simple biological functions were something she understood and dismissed as normal. As much as he loved being in his own bed, he didn't want to put this on TJ. Not that anyone had asked him about preferences. When Maura had deemed him stable enough and Robert was rested enough, he'd been taken home, with Maura and Doug keeping him company until TJ arrived.

Reaching across the bed, he covered TJ's hand. He could tell that his lover wasn't asleep, even if he was doing his best not to move. "Being on the wrong side of the bed sucks," he said softly, "but you still come closer. You're not going to hurt me."

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hammond_tj
2013-05-22 04:08 pm UTC (link)

"Yes, I am," TJ replied softly. But, he slowly rolled onto his side, sliding close enough to press a soft kiss to Travis' shoulder. His hand found Travis', lacing their fingers together as he propped his head up on the other.

He couldn't imagine how much pain Travis had to be in. Pacing outside that kitchen, listening to Travis' screams and knowing there was nothing he could do except trust Maura to keep him alive, TJ had thought he was going to go insane. He wanted to be there, soothing his lover. And he was helplessly waiting outside, waiting to know if Travis was going to live or die. It had been the most horrible day in his life...and he'd had his brother and Savannah to lean on. His parents couldn't even be fucked to sound like they cared while pretending.

And none of it mattered now that he had Travis home with Maura's assurances his prognosis looked good.

Travis was alive and he was going to need TJ more than ever for awhile. That was what TJ kept reminding himself, while silently thanking his own foresight in taking Doug up on the offer to hold onto his stash. He couldn't afford to let Travis down, not now. And he knew himself well enough to know the stress of watching his lover suffer would eventually be enough to push him off that wagon if he had the access to his drugs.

"You should try to sleep. You'll heal faster, Maura said. You can have your side of the bed back as soon as you're healed." He brushed his lips lightly against Travis' shoulder again and smiled a little against the skin. "Most of the time you end up sprawled on top of me on my side anyway," he teased, definitely not complaining, since it was one of his favorite ways to wake up in the morning.

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travis_marks
2013-05-22 05:42 pm UTC (link)

"No, you're not," he answered, even though they both knew it was a lie. Everything hurt. Every movement hurt. Breathing hurt. He couldn't imagine anything that wouldn't hurt at the moment, but having TJ close, knowing that he was all right, made things better.

"How are you doing, babe? You okay?" Getting shot hurt, but the alternative, the possibility that TJ could be killed was unbearable.

He snorted, but the pain spiked. He let go of TJ's hand and reached for his chest, even though touching it was a truly horrible idea. "Sleep doesn't heal me faster. It makes me not feel the pain while I heal, unfortunately without the nice morphine that makes the world a better place, I doubt sleeping is happening." He laced his fingers with TJ's again and smile. "Exactly that's my side so I can turn and get on top of you. If I turn now, I'll end up on the floor."

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hammond_tj
2013-05-23 01:29 am UTC (link)

"I'm not the one who tried out his kevlar impression this morning. So, I'm pretty sure that means I'm okay. Hey, hey, easy." Watching Travis in pain was the hardest thing he'd ever done. More so than going almost eight months without drugs, or putting himself through this insane training regime. TJ would gladly through all of that with a smile if it would keep Travis from going though this. He ran the backs of his fingers over Travis' cheek before tangling them with Travis' again.

"Sleep will happen eventually because you'll crash and pass out." He chuckled roughly. "If you turn now, the floor will be the least of your worries."

He ran his thumb lightly over Travis' wrist, reassuring if he'd known who was reassuring: Travis or himself. Bringing Travis' hand up to his lips, he kissed each finger tip, the back of Travis' hand. TJ had always responded to touch and unconsciously, he was looking for that proof of life. Laying there in bed, he hadn't been able to close his eyes without seeing Travis gasping for air or without hearing his pain while Maura worked on him. He'd promised himself he wouldn't let this become about him. Travis needed that strong man he said he could see inside TJ. But, there was still that part of him that wanted to curl up around Travis so neither of them could be hurt again.

As if that would work.

"Can I do anything to help make it easier? Scalp massage? Bedtime story? Would that weird calm thing I can do with my power help you sleep?"

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travis_marks
2013-05-23 02:45 am UTC (link)

"No, you were the one who had to stand and watch and that's even worse," he said, seriously. "I know it's hard, TJ. Not physically hard, but still hard." Considering how much TJ felt everything, he was even harder, and Travis understood that.

"Does unconsciousness count as sleep? Because I'm sure I passed out more than once." At times the pain had just become too much, and then there was always more pain that woke him up. Feeling someone touching your lungs was not a pleasant experience, and he wasn't sure he would have been able to lie still if it hadn't been for Troy's power.

Travis stared at TJ, watched him with a smile on his face. "I am okay, babe. I'm in pain. I will need training and tie to regain full lung capacity, but I'm okay Just remember that. I'm sorry I'm going to ruin your vacation," he said, with a little smile. "You'll just have to do that torture... I mean massage without me. I'm devastated that I won't get to do that."

He hummed. "Can you do anything? I'm pretty sure that you can kiss me and stop worrying that I'm going to disappear on you. Other than that...." He almost dismiss it out of hand, but he wasn't a masochist. "Can you do it?" he asked finally. "If you can do anything to minimize the pain, or even let me sleep, then yes, i want you to do it. I'm not going to be good for anyone like this anyway." Maybe he'd have to speak to Deeks about precautions for the house. He might like Doug and Maura, but if there was an attack, they'd be in serious trouble. "As long as you feel okay with doing it, then go ahead."

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hammond_tj
2013-05-23 05:38 pm UTC (link)

"Stop being so reasonable and understanding," TJ complained gruffly, trying not to get emotional just because Travis seemed to know he'd gone through Hell, no matter how much TJ tried to not make this about himself. Not needing to be told twice, he leaned over carefully and pressed his lips to Travis'. "I thought I was losing you," he whispered before swallowing hard. "It was like all the air went out of my world when I saw you go down and I didn't start breathing again until I knew you could. Is that what you want to hear? You scared the hell out of me, Travis, okay? I've never been so scared in my life and I'm afraid to sleep for fear I'll wake up and this, right now, with you alive and joking, will be a cruel dream. But, I can't help you if I'm too scared to function. So, I'm fine and as long as you stay alive, I will be okay, too."

He kissed Travis again, softly. "And you're not ruining my vacation." A ghost of his usual smirk appeared. "If anything, you're giving me a perfectly valid reason to stay in bed with you all day. We can order meals in and I can get the spa to send up some lotions to pamper you with myself. There are places on your body that won't be in pain and I can be your own private masseur."

Chuckling, he let go of Travis' hand for a moment to trace the line of his jaw with a finger. "As long as I feel okay doing it?" He took Travis' hand again. "Haven't you figured out by now that there's almost nothing I won't do to take care of you?"

TJ shifted so he was still lying on his side, but close enough that when he put his head down, he could still brush light kisses on Travis' shoulder. "I can't put you to sleep. I'm not sure how I managed with Derek earlier. And, I'm not sure if I could bring you out of it if you needed help. But, there's a sort of numb detachment with the calm that might help. I'm not really sure how to explain it. But, if it can help you relax enough, maybe you can sleep on your own." As he spoke, he was already 'reaching' for his power, building that calm for both of them and willing Travis' pain to ease, hoping it would be enough to allow his lover to sleep.

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travis_marks
2013-05-23 06:08 pm UTC (link)

"I don't want to hear anything other than the truth, and if that's the truth, then it is what it is." he sighed. "I wasn't trying to play the hero or to scare you, but it's not a dream. I'm right here."

Travis smiled against TJ's lips. "You don't need an excuse to stay in bed with me." It might have even been a lot more pleasurable without the bullet hole, but he wasn't going to complain. He was alive and so was TJ. "As long as you feel okay, because I know that what you can do instinctively isn't always what you can do on purpose, but whatever you can do is appreciated."

The onset of the new mood was also freaky, because it was when he could tell that it wasn't natural, but eventually the weirdness subsided, leaving just the effects of TJ's power. Maybe there was detachment for TJ, but calm meant a different thing to Travis. It meant shedding some of the emotional baggage that he carried around since childhood. It meant accepting that TJ had become too important in his life without that sense of panic and fear. "I love you so much. When I saw that gun... I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He would have liked to move and touch his lover, but he contended himself with rubbing circles on TJ's arm." He bend his left arm and raised his hand. He rubbed the wedding band with his thumb. "I'm ... I'm okay with this now, with us, with no expiration dates. I love you."

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hammond_tj
2013-05-23 09:37 pm UTC (link)

"Shh, I'm not blaming you." TJ scooted closer until he could press gentle kisses to the side of Travis' neck. It was the only way he knew how to comfort someone, touch and affection. Still, there was only so much he could touch without hurting his lover. "God, Travis, I know it's not your fault. It's just...Watching and listening to you in that kind of pain...I'm scared because you mean so much to me and I came so close to losing you." He brushed his fingertips over Travis' jaw, his lips, then kissed him softly. "I love you too much not to be scared when you come so close to dying on me. But, I'll be okay. I just need to kiss you a lot to make sure you're real," he finished, teasing lightly.

"I'll do anything I can for you," he promised softly, not limiting that promise to just using his power that night, even if he didn't say as much out loud.

"Travis..." TJ was pretty sure his heart was in his eyes, even if it was possibly too dark to see it and his own power was dampening his ability to experience the surge of emotion he knew would be there otherwise. Of all the things he might have expected to hear, this wasn't one of them. Pushing back up on his elbow, he reached up to take Travis' left hand in his own left hand, their matching rings making a quiet clink as they brushed. "I love you. So fucking much I can't imagine being without you." The words were right, but there wasn't the roughness to his voice that would have been there if he hadn't created the calm that always seemed to separate him from his other emotions. "I want that, too, so you'd better make sure the rest of your life is a very, very long time," he added with a smile.

Kissing his lover one last time, he settled back down as close as he dared without adding more pain, hoping his nearness would let Travis relax enough to sleep. Maybe Travis wasn't saying it, but he'd been shot because he was protecting TJ. TJ knew that, knew that if it had been the piano that set Derek off, Travis hadn't been the intended target. "Try to sleep." He brushed his lips against Travis' shoulder, whispering softly. "I'll be right here."

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