RP: The Earthquake Who: Savannah, TJ, Nick, and Sheldon Where: Off of I 5 When: Thursday, April 11, 2013 Summary: the earthquake hits
Savannah enjoyed days when there was plenty of work to do. With two teams and eight people out, there was plenty to do. Of course, she didn’t even want to think why those teams. Derek had taken with him Brian, Robert and Troy, which made her think that it was far, but not too dangerous. Marty had taken Travis, Alexis and Tim. Whatever it was, it was bad enough that they didn’t think the Hammond twins should go. In a way it was a relief, because she knew if something happened, Marty would be on his own. On the other hand, it meant that something was happening and she couldn’t help, at least not out there.
She helped at home, which meant keep things running smoothly, even when Sheldon said that he needed more time with the partially built machine. She knew people were tired, Dom had to deal with Blaze, and she couldn’t keep everyone there for whatever Sheldon wanted to do.
“All right, everyone get ready to go. Sean, if you could take the twins and the dogs for me.” Normally, she’d have kept them around, but they had been off all day. All of them seemed to be antsy. She wasn’t sure if it was because so many of their owners were gone, but then she and John were there. “Oliver, Tommy, make sure everything is all right at home. Matt, stay with Nell and Dom until we come back. Nick, Thomas, you’re with me.” This was going to be so much fun. Not.
Nick wasn’t much of a problem. He actually liked physics and understood some of Sheldon’s rambling, and Sheldon liked to have someone to boss around. Thomas was a different matter, but at the moment, she needed a partner and he was the one who had no one at home. The other one was Matt, but he was too new to rely on him. It wasn’t her favorite choice, but she meant it when she said that personal feelings wouldn’t interfere with work. Except that now they were here, doing nothing, while they waited for Sheldon. With no furniture and nothing to do, she sat on the porch steps, rubbing her stomach as she felt the contractions come more often, preparing her body for birth. She almost considered talking to Thomas, like she had for days, but with the way she was feeling, she would not be kind. No, it was easier to sit and wait in silence.
It was more than an hour later when they finally got into the car. The sun had gone down and even the last traces of lights had disappeared in the horizon. As tired as she was after a full day out of the house, she didn’t trust anyone else to drive the jeep. At least at this time, they should encounter less traffic.
Everything ran smoothly until they were halfway home. It happened all at once and yet it seemed like the world was moving in slow motion. The car began to shake as rocks slid down the mountain, tumbling faster, bigger, cracking the road. Savannah swerved, trying to avoid them. Maybe she should have asked for lessons from Brian regardless of how big she was, because no matter how much she tried, there were more, and then it felt like they were riding a big rollercoaster, the car spinning out of control as the road collapsed from under them, sending them rolling down as well for what felt hours.
It was only forty-five seconds later when the earth stopped shaking. Only then, Savannah started to focus again. Her first thought went to her child, hand on her stomach, but there was little that she could do for her son right then. She ignored the aches she was feeling. “Everyone all right?” she asked as she took off her seat belt. “Thomas?” She reached for him just as she turned around and froze. Sheldon wasn’t moving and Nick- She brought her hand to her mouth. Nick was impaled through his chest as he leaned toward Sheldon as if to protect him or push him out of the way. He must have seen the tree, pushed Sheldon out of the way, saving him, but not protecting him from the rocks and bumps.
Savannah closed her eyes, ignoring the sudden pain she was feeling. It was just another contraction. She’d have to work through them. “Thomas, see if you can reach someone.” She was already getting out of the car to check on Sheldon. She didn’t know how much time they had, but she needed to make sure Sheldon was fine, before dealing with Nick.
"Yeah. Sure." TJ groaned. To say everything hurt would be an understatement. He wasn't completely certain the world had truly righted itself after being shaken around like a giant baby rattle while the giant baby was throwing a temper tantrum. But, he did know every muscle and bone in his body hurt. He could move, though, so he'd call it a win. Unclipping the seat belt, he hissed softly as the motion caused pain to radiate through his right shoulder. But, once the belt was off he could look around them more easily.
"Jesus fucking Christ." He wasn't sure what exactly he was exclaiming over: the sight of a kid impaled on a tree in the backseat, or the precarious perch they were on. It looked like half the mountain had come tumbling down with him. The car was half-buried in rock and debris. Looking up, he judged they'd fallen...well, he just wasn't going to calculate that distance. But, they hadn't fallen all the way to the bottom, just to a wide ledge several hundred feet below where they had been driving. And that was just what he could see in the near darkness of a night with almost no moon. "Watch your step. I can't catch you from here if you go the rest of the way down this mountain."
TJ looked for his phone, then, only to curse under his breath when he saw it in pieces next to the car. The front passenger window had not survived it's encounter with the mountain and the phone must have gotten thrown out it when he dropped it mid-text to Doug in favor of grabbing onto whatever he could during the fall.
"My phone is more adept at suicide than I am. Where's yours?"
Savannah looked at him with a frown when he swore. "Are you all right? If you can't move stay where you are. We don't need you any more hurt than you are." She slowly made her way around the car, careful as debris shifted under her feet and went to the other side of the car. She reached in her pocket and got her phone out, before handing it to Thomas.
"I can move just fine. I'm just going to have to Dukes of Hazard it out the window. Door's jammed," he told her, taking the phone. But one look at the indicator at the top told him it was useless.
No service.
"We need to get them out, both of them, and the backpacks. The car could go down and we can't leave the body to be found," Savannah said while she surveyed the scene.
She couldn't believe what she was thinking of doing, they said that they could find anomalies in their blood and if they found Nick, their position would be compromised. Still, she needed to worry about Sheldon first. He was breathing, which was a plus, but still unconscious. She opened the door slowly, and pulled him out as best as she could considering the situation. "How do we take Nick out without moving the car too much?"
While Savannah dealt with Dr. Cooper, TJ worked himself around to an angle where he could haul himself through the window as smoothly as possible. It added to the scratches he was starting to feel, probably from when the window originally broke. But, once he had his feet under him, he could take better stock of what hurt. Although what didn't hurt might have been more useful. His right hip and knee hurt the worst, along with that shoulder. Whether that was from getting thrown into the door on the way down, from whatever hit that side and jammed the door, or what, he didn't know and didn't have time to figure out. He could put weight on them well enough and nothing seemed broken. So, he called himself lucky as he moved to stand beside her looking into the backseat.
"Unless we have an axe or a saw-" TJ stopped abruptly, hearing the growing rumble and pulled her down with him behind the open car door as the ground started shaking again.
Savannah crouched next to him, her arm turning into a metal shield that she used to cover their heads. Why wasn't she thinking? If she were a little more lucid, she could turn completely into metal, covering him, but the pain was coming sharper now, distracting her from the other aches and pains.
Debris kept rolling down, shifting, settling. She held her breath unconsciously until the earth stopped trembling and the car was still balanced perilously. "Thanks," she said, without even thinking. She might not need the help, but he didn't know that. "We need to do this fast, and we don't have a saw, but-" She turned her arm into a metal edge. "It'll have to do, and after that, we need to chop the body in parts and set the car on fire. They can't suspect that it was arson. We'll use a backpack to carry the body, move his things into the other three." She was already thinking of ways to damage the tank so it would leak.
"Are you nuts?" TJ just stared at her for a moment, absolutely certain she'd lost what little mind he'd ever given her credit for having before.
Savannah stared at him. She didn't like him, but at least this was the most honest she'd seen him and she'd take insults over politeness any day of the week. "I know how it sounds, but what do you think we've been doing with the bodies of the people who've died? We've cut them up and put them in an incinerator used for animals. This is what we do, how we protect ourselves. It doesn't matter if the person was a friend, an acquaintance or somehow we just met. We need to take him back with us, and that's the only way. If the authorities find a body, there'd be an autopsy and we can't let that happen."
"I was going to go for disturbing, gross, and creepy," TJ returned, still staring at her as if somehow that would make her make sense. "And the only people who have died when I've been here got eaten. So, yeah, haven't really had to think about body disposal." That was a fact he was really very grateful for just then, as well.
She sighed. "I know it's hard. I'll do it, okay? Just help me get him and the backpacks out. You can rearrange the contents of the backpack, and I'll take care of the rest."
"Look, I get that you're the expert and you know everything about this survival shit. But, if you can accept a little advice from someone who knows just a little about hunting...? Carrying around what amounts to so much fresh meat is like sending up flares for every predator in the area. Granted, the chances of something like a bear getting down here are slim. But, mountain lions and bobcats could do it.
"And considering we have several hundred feet straight up to climb while the ground continues to shake, trying it in the dark with a dead body, an unconscious body, a pregnant woman, and three bags of gear sounds pretty suicidal, a trend I'm trying to get away from in my life. That also means before you torch that car, if we're going to be here, even for a few hours, that car may be the only way we have to keep ourselves and our unconscious friend here warm while the night temperatures in this damned place drop further."
"I don't know everything" It was the first thing that came out of her mouth. "I wish I did, but I've spent the last four years learning just how much I don't know." She looked at him, frowning. "A trend about being suicidal. Is this one of those jokes I don't get or some weird DC thing?" She shook her head. "Never mind, you don't have to explain." Explaining usually meant arguing and she needed her strength.
"I... As suicidal as it seems, I don't think we can stay here either." She looked up at the mountain, not even sure that her plan would work. Maybe if she weren't pregnant, she would be able to do it, but now, she wasn't sure at all. She still had to try. "I can go up with the backpacks. I'll make two trip. I can turn on fire to light the way, and we make the third trip up together. You'll carry Sheldon and I'll carry the body, and before you tell me how insane that sounds, the contractions are strong and close together. Even if that car didn't look ready to drop the way down, we can't stay. This baby isn't waiting for the morning." She rubbed her stomach with both her hands. "I'm sorry. It's my job to get you home safe, and Nick-" She took a deep breath. "I did this to him, but there's still you and Sheldon and this baby and I'll do anything I need to."
"Bullshit." TJ snorted. "I realize you think you're Supergirl or whatever, but you didn't 'do this'. Not unless you've got powers you're not sharing with the group. It was an earthquake. The road collapsed. It happens. It's California. Get over it. Save the guilty self-pity party for when you've actually done something for which you should feel guilty.
"And it's not your job to get any of us 'home'." There were some very mixed feelings in TJ's head about that word and what it meant that he wasn't ready to examine. "Last time I checked, the message we've been getting was it's our jobs to survive. And surviving means not doing stupid things like climbing sheer cliff faces in the dark. That's hundreds of feet up to a road that's been destroyed and how long of a hike to anything resembling enough civilization to have a landline phone that won't be jammed the way cell traffic will be here, if there's even a working cell tower in the area. Even if we found some place, we don't know how much of the road is gone or if this is the only place that collapsed.
"Look, even if no one from the group can get to us, this is the primary road through these mountains and will be among the first things emergency response teams will check out because they need to get supplies through to affected areas. And it will look less out of place for a body to be in the backseat of the car than for three people to be sitting around with four backpacks. An autopsy in a natural disaster would take forever. We tell them Nick's Jewish and his family will not allow an autopsy due to religious prohibitions against it."
"Do you really think I'm so vain?" she asked as she went to the back of the jeep to take the backpacks out. Doing something would make her feel better.
"Yes." His answer to that was simple and without hesitation.
"This isn't about me. It is about that poor boy, Thomas, and it's not pity, it's regret and yes, guilt. I could have asked Travis or Brian to teach me how to drive. Not that we haven't before, but supposedly they are the best drivers we have, and I learn from the best, because maybe we can avoid things like this. Just like I learned from Sam when it came to shooting and saved our lives, or how I look at G to learn how to survive. I came here knowing nothing, and I'm learning as fast as I can, and it's never enough. There's always something else, something more. Pregnancies, vaccines, baby care, hospital procedures, military procedures, cops procedures, official rules, unofficial rules. I got here that these people had twenty years on the job when I was twenty-one, and I've tried to learn everything they know in two years." She put the backpack next to Sheldon, before looking up at Thomas. "Maybe if I'd ask Brian or Travis, I could have handled the car better."
"Do you even hear yourself? It was an act of God. The road collapsed and the fucking mountain rained down on our heads. There was nothing anyone could have done. Not even you, Princess."
She marched to the car and had to stop midway, clutching her stomach with a hand and looking at her watch at the same time. About thirty second, slightly more than five minutes apart. She tried to move, stretch, but the pain didn't go away and her stomach stayed rock hard. When it passed, she took a few deep breaths, before speaking again. "I meant home to the trailer park, Thomas. Marty and Derek aren't here, which puts me in charge, which means all of you are my responsibility, not just the people here, but the one at the camp either." She looked at the car. "There's too many holes in our backstory. There are no parents or next of kin. If they try to contract the agency we supposedly work for, no one will know who we are. Since we can't carry him up, then we need to set the car on fire with him inside and push it down the mountain and we use the sleeping bags and extra clothes for warmth, but we need to do this quickly, because this baby is coming. Now."
"I know what you meant." TJ rolled his eyes. She might not think she knew everything, but she sure thought she knew more than anyone else. Hell, she'd once told him as much.
It was on the tip of his tongue to point out that no one was going to be able to contact anyone for days, possibly weeks if that quake was as big as it felt there. But, the rest of what she was saying finally sunk in. "Fuck. You're sure?"
"Princess? I'm anything, but." She sighed. "Look, I don't know what you think of me. I tried to be nice, but somehow that made you think... I don't know what. If I insulted you, I'm sorry. It was never my intention, and maybe I do try too hard, because I've had to play catch up since I got here. I was never good enough because there were people who knew more, could do better, and maybe, just maybe having someone like Travis or Brian behind a wheel would have made the difference. I don't know, and it doesn't matter, because Nick is dead. What I can and will do is make sure that they teach me everything they know, because that's what I do, that's the only way I have to protect my family, a family that shares very little blood, but a lot of sweat and bullets, a family that includes anyone who wants to."
She stepped closer, looking up at Thomas. "You don't want to be part of that family, I get it. I'm sorry I pushed, and I'll never speak to you again if that's what you want, but please, I need your help. This baby is coming and you're the only one who can help. I'm sorry for anything I've done, whether I meant it or not, but I need your help right now. Can you do that?"
"A simple yes or no is beyond you, isn't it?" TJ shook his head. Doe-eyed pleading was what he got for asking a simple question. "I may be a self-admitted bastard, but I was still raised a gentleman. I was just asking if you were sure the baby was coming now. Look-"
Another aftershock rumbled through, cutting off what TJ was going to say. When it passed, he shook his head once more. "Never mind. We don't have time to get into who did what and why now. Not if we want to get this done before a real aftershock comes through instead of these little ones. I'll deal with the car and...yeah. You see what we have that you'll need for the birth."
What he wouldn't give for a line or two right then. Or for Travis to be there. He was the one who liked to help and was good with people, liked kids, dealt with emergencies.
Or Maura. God, yes. Maura being around would be really fucking awesome just then. Babies should be born with doctors, not disinterested addicts.
"I don't like silences. They make me feel alone, and I've never been alone. When I left my parents' house, or I was kicked out from there, I moved into Cheertown, that's the house with all the cheerleaders," she said as she went into her backpack to start getting things. She need to do things before the next contraction and that should give her a good five minutes. She hoped.
"I got here from there, and I tried to kill myself at the hotel, and then I moved in with Sam and G, and then there were more people, regardless of where we moved. I've never been alone. I've never done a lot of things. I went from school to this," she said as she opened up her sleeping bag and put it on the ground. Thinking about it, she got Sheldon's out and used to cover the other man. He murmured something, but didn't wake up. At this point, it was probably best if he stayed unconscious until they had a plan or he'd panic. "And I've never call you a ba- I'd never call you what you said, but you've made it clear you don't want anything to do with this group, or maybe just me, and if that's what you want, then... I'm rambling again. You don't have to pay attention, most people don't. Let me know when you need a hand with the car."
She stood by her backpack, her mind switching gear. "Okay, so latex gloves, clamps, water, blanket. I have the nose pump we can use for later, one of the twins diaper, pad, extra clothes, scissors... knife will have to do, bag in case he turns to water, but I don't think so, and I can't exactly time this, but if we want to speed up the process, we can break my waters. Sam used a skewer. I'll see if I can find something, but first you'll have to check that I'm fully dilated. You just use your fingers and if all four fit, then the cervix is fully dilated. This part you had to pay attention to, but I can repeat it if you didn't." She spoke as she took off her boots and the yoga pants that were the only thing comfortable lately. The t-shirt was one of Marty's because she hadn't bothered to buy maternity clothes this time around, and it went down to her thighs even with her stomach. "So car or cervix first?"
TJ had just let her ramble while he worked. He'd perfected the art of not saying what he was thinking every time someone said something ridiculously stupid ages ago, which made it easy to keep from responding to the points in her -- unfortunately external -- monologue that were so off-base it wasn't even funny. Of course, he didn't even know what she was talking about with some of it.
First thing was making sure there wasn't anything left in the car they might need, including the spare road maps he found in the glove box. Unfortunately, there wasn't much else except the backpacks and sleeping bags Savannah had already pulled out. So, he went back to his bag, slid the maps in and took out a spare bottle of lighter fluid he kept there. Going back to the car, he doused the body in the backseat with it. He wasn't thinking of it as anything but 'the body', if he had to start thinking of it as a person, TJ wasn't sure he was going to be able to do this.
Next he pulled his long-sleeved t-shirt over his head. He had a spare in his bag and this one was full of holes from the broken window anyway -- the tinkling of glass hitting the ground as he shook it out proved his point.
TJ finally looked at her and glared when she asked about the car. "Car first. We don't need to speed anything along and I don't need a hand with the car from the woman going into labor. I'd prefer your husband not have a reason to kill me when we get out of here, thank you very much. Just make sure you and Cooper are well away when I push it over. We don't know how much of this could come loose once I dislodge the car and send it over."
He tore the sleeves off his t-shirt and handed them to her. "There's another bottle of lighter fluid in my bag. Soak these while I get her in neutral."
"Wait a moment." She put her boots back on, went into the car, uncaring that she was walking around in a tee and flimsy underwear. It didn't seem important considering the situation. "I'm sorry," she whispered, before kissing Nick's forehead. "I hope you are in a better place now."
She went to his backpack and found the fluid. She had her objections to this, but it was too late to do anything about it. The fluid was different than gas, and if there was an investigation, they could figure it out. It might be unlikely, but it was still a possibility. John would have to keep an eye on the corner report.
Savannah poured the fluid on the sleeves. "He won't kill you. Marty likes you." She ignored the rest, because personal comments were problematic, but she knew how to get a job done. "Pregnant or not, I can still go on fire, it actually makes the pain lessen, and I can still help, even if the Prince Charming behavior is kinda of cute," she said with a smile.
"Help? Yes. Push the car or light it on fire before I get it moving? Not a chance." TJ refrained from rolling his eyes this time, but only barely. "And the Charming Prince is fucking gorgeous, not merely cute," he added with a smirk.
Then he sighed and shook his head. "Look, the plan is to use those as a long fuse on the gas tank, keep it from exploding before it's over the edge. Toss a few joints in the back with him, crack the empty bottle, throw the open zippo in and the body slow burns on the way down until the flames hit the gas tank. By the time it falls over a thousand feet to land in the wilderness somewhere, all that's left is a poor kid who stopped on the side of the road for a joint and met Nature's wrath. If there's even that much left by the time the animals get to him, which is likely to happen long before any sort of rescue crew even knows the wreck is there. If ever. They sort of have their hands full at the moment with what will likely be declared a disaster area soon. It could be Christmas before they even know there's something there to find.
"So, unless you have a better idea, that doesn't involve us blowing up or you pushing the car or trying to kill ourselves climbing up, help is getting you and Cooper away from the possibility of falling rocks. Okay?
"And even if he does like me, your husband would still kill me for letting you help push."
Savannah snorted. "I'm glad that you have your priorities straight, but I've been corrected. You're cute and gorgeous." And that was the easy part of the discussion, following the rest wasn't as easy. "What do you mean a few joints? What joints? And how do you know so much about disaster areas?" She gripped his arm, suddenly, wincing in pain, while she looked at the watch again, but she was distracted by the wet sensation sliding down her leg. "Oh fu...dge. I'm going to be pushing a lot more than a car soon. Let's just get this done... and he can't kill you if he doesn't know." Not that Marty couldn't find out, but he wouldn't get inside people's heads. She let go of his arm. "I'll only help you push if you need it, okay? But otherwise, we'll go with your plan."
TJ would have made a comment about the joints, but when she grabbed his arm, he hissed instead. Yep. Definitely got cut up a bit by that window. He couldn't see any cuts, but that probably just meant they were tiny and super painful, like paper cuts.
And that still didn't dampen -- Jesus, did he have to think of that particular description? -- the slight horror at the realization that baby of hers really was coming and she really was expecting him to help her. Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Nodding, he reached in and switched the car into neutral. No way he could push it over the edge if it wasn't. "When I was a kid, I actually wanted to be just like my dad," he explained, possibly to distract both of them more than out of any real desire to answer her question. "So, I paid attention to things related to his job when I could. Things he'd say at dinner, things I'd overhear around the White House. About a month or so after mine and Doug's thirteenth birthday, they had a huge quake out here in L.A. It was before I stopped wanting to be just like Dad. And, if there's one thing you can almost always get your security detail talking about, it's emergency and safety procedures. Bores the shit out of me now. But, back then I asked questions and they answered what they could. Besides, occasionally, the President's family visits these areas after the fact and then you get briefed on these kind of things in case something happens while you're there. Secret Service wants you to know ahead of time what you're supposed to do to help them protect you, especially when you're the trouble-making black sheep of the family who's the most likely to put himself in danger for the hell of it. My grades may have sucked, but that was lack of applying myself, not because I'm an idiot. I remember some things."
While he talked, TJ went about doing everything he told he was going to do. Joints, broken bottle, and cheapest zippo all were tossed in the backseat. He used what was left of his t-shirt to wipe the car down as best he could to get rid of prints, surprising even himself that he thought of it. The soaked sleeves he twisted into a crude fuse and shoved down into the gas tank. Then he lit the hanging end. He had no idea how long that would really give him, but he just wouldn't think about that part.
Pushing the car over was another matter entirely.
Savannah might have stopped arguing, because she was in pain, but it didn't mean that she was agreeing with him, or that any possible future argument with Marty would stop her. Her power did work for something and while she was afraid to change shape completely, she did change into solid metal and helped him push the jeep.
Even with her help, it still took far longer than he liked, judging by how little of the 'fuse' was left by the time he finally got the front wheels over the rocks with a grunt and the car started to slide over the edge. if the pain radiating from his shoulder, hip, and knee as he sat down after the effort was anything to go by, he should probably make his sister-in-law first on his list of people to see when they got out of this.
She changed back into her normal form and as she went by, she squeezed his shoulder. "Are you sure you're okay?" He'd put a lot more effort than she had expected from him, considering how well in shape he was.
TJ snorted softly. "I forgot what the definition of 'okay' was long before you ever met me."
He knew it wasn't what she meant, but sarcasm was always easier than admitting weakness.
"You and me both, but let me rephrase. Are you physically all right? You looked... I know what you can do in training. I keep an eye on everyone, but especially on my husband's team. You're stronger than that." She crouched, which wasn't as easy as it sounded, and put a hand on his cheek. "We need you in as good shape as we can, or I need you in top form. Is there anything I can do before we try this?"
TJ stared at her a moment before pulling away and shaking his head. "I think I got thrown into the door on the way down...or the door got thrown into me, who knows. Nothing feels broken, only bruised and scratched. Just don't ask me to push anything bigger than you off this cliff and we'll be fine."
"No, you're done with the pushing. Now it's my turn." She went to the backpack and grabbed a few bottles of water and the gloves and then kneeled in front of him. "Give me your hands. It's not ideal, but it's the best we can do. I can sterilize the clamps and knife with fire." She opened the bottles as she talked. "I never thought you were an idiot, and that's some impressive knowledge you have. It's going to come handy in the next couple of days, but right now, we need to figure out when this baby is coming. You need to check how much I'm dilated."
He started to hold out his hands, but once he caught on to what she wanted, he got up and went to his own bag. Pulling out a bottle, he tossed it in front of her as he sat back down. "Antibacterial body wash. Everyone else can cart around their tech and ammo in whatever room they have to spare. I'm not giving up grooming and hygiene." Or vice, which was why the lighter fluid and extra lighters. But, that was another subject.
Holding out his hands, he shook his head. "It's not really that impressive. Pretty sure Doug knows even more than I do about it." Remembering something she had said earlier, he raised an eyebrow. "You do realize four of Hanna's fingers are probably like eight of mine, right? The man was huge."
"Antibacterial body wash?" She bit her lip, trying not to laugh. "You know, I do have baby wipes I forgot about. I don't have lighter fluid, although I supposed I should have more for that zippo Derek wants us to carry."
She got up and turned her arms into fire. She didn't know if it worked or not, but she'd try anyway, and while she was up, she got the wipes. "Let's see if we can do this without getting up again. It's not as easy as it looks." She kneeled for a second time and this time poured the wash on the wipes. She didn't touch Thomas' hand while she rubbed the wash over his skin. "Why do you do that?" she asked, looking at his hands. "You either deflect or minimize what you can do. Maybe your brother knows more, maybe your parents know more, but you're here and I didn't know half of the stuff that you know." She sighed. "I don't get you. I don't like it when I don't understand people. It's the one thing I'm good at and-"
Time to shut up now, at least for another minute, which felt even longer than the earthquake. She had to remind herself to breathe through this latest contraction. "Four of your fingers will be fine. It's ten centimeters, which is pretty much four normal fingers. Sam... he improvises a lot, and he is huge. He's not dead, and we'll find him, we'll find all of them."
"You're good at more than one thing. You've been telling me all the things you can do and know practically from day one," he remarked drily. "But I'm really not that hard to understand. Just pick up any newspaper or magazine in my world. They've all written up their version of my story."
TJ kept talking through her pain. He wasn't really good at the whole comforting thing and it wasn't like she'd believe him if he said it'd be alright, anyway. He knew more about living in poverty in a shit part-time job than he did about pregnancies or births. He and Doug had been born. That was as close to a delivery as he was getting.
Until now, it seemed.
"Remind me again why I thought blowing up my pot along with the car was a good idea?" he said instead. He could really use a cigarette, something to calm down. But, he knew how anal these people were about smoking near the kids. He'd have to wait until after this kid popped out and he could put what little distance there was to be had between them.
"No, I learn from people. I learn all sorts of things, but that's not what I'm good at. You know it's funny, because when G told me pretty much the same thing, I thought he was crazy, but he was right," she said, smiling. "I get people without even trying. I get normal people." She looked up. "You are not normal... average, and I don't come from your world, and if I did, I wouldn't believe a word they said. That's why you upset me so much. You do this, 'I'm not really hard to understand', you use words to put barriers, and I don't like barriers. This, the people here, you and your family, this is all I'll have. My biological family stopped talking to me before I got here, and I know better than to think this family will ever stop until we get home, and there, the government won't let us go, which means the people in this team are all there is for as long as we're alive. I have a feeling that Travis is much like Marty. It's why I tried so hard with you, but if it sounds like something else... I never thought you were an idiot or I was better or superwoman," she said with a sigh. "I thought you thought I was an idiot and you were better."
She got up and stepped back to take her underwear off. She realized that the flashlight would be needed too, and she got that out of her backpack as well, while thinking about the rest of what he said. "Pot? You mean... oh goodness, joints, that's what you were talking about. I thought... well I don't know what you were talking about. I thought some metal part, something in the car engine. It made no sense. I'm so going to have Travis or Brian teach me about cars." She moved the sleeping bag with its content toward a rock that she could use for a back rest. "You know that even if I'm dilated, this could take hours. Now is not as immediate as it sounds. It sure feels like it, though. Do you smoke often? Like Brian? Why? I mean, I know he does when he's partying, but why now? Don't you want to stay alert? We don't know what's going to happen, and feeling sluggish would be the last thing that you'd need. See? Not simple to understand."
"Because I'm an addict." TJ shrugged, stalling in a way because he really wasn't sure he wanted to get into the reasons for his addictions and the lack of general coping skills he possessed. Not with her, at least. It was hard enough to do with Travis and Doug. Thankfully, Maura had never asked, even though TJ knew the woman was smart enough to have recognized a lot of his odd behaviors for what they were. "Weed has a calming effect and might also act as a muscle relaxant for this shoulder. But, it's really more just needing a fix."
He nodded toward the gloves. "I take it I'm supposed to put those on for this? No glove, no love?"
"I don't know if we're up to love," she answered, back. "But, yes, you need gloves and if I'm not ready, I have a few pairs. You can get rid of those if they are too yucky."
TJ could not believe he was doing this...nor could he really fathom why other than he could hear Travis' voice in his head telling him he was a better man than he pretended to be and no matter what he thought of her, he couldn't say no to a pregnant woman and go back to look Nana in the face.
"I'm a self-centered, arrogant bastard. I've never made a secret of that fact or tried to hide it. It's who I am. But, I never thought you were an idiot. Manipulative, judgmental, and equally as arrogant if not more. But, not an idiot. I wouldn't bother being polite if I thought you were an idiot, no matter how much Travis asked me to play nice," he told her bluntly.
Savannah stopped, but this time it wasn't because of a contraction. "This way I like you better. I don't want or need nice or polite, not if it's fake. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or right or what if it's just-" She shook her head. "It's not even that. You know how I said I get people? But I really get emotions. I can tell who likes who before they can figure it out. I understand anger, love, disappointment. I get what people feel, but when people hide those, there is nothing for me to get. I don't get the big words, polite reference and social customs, not unless we're talking about rednecks. I was born in Texas and moved to Memphis. You want to talk cowboys and football, then I'm game, but what y'all discuss half the time goes over my head. It's why I liked Travis from the start. You can almost feel his emotions, and when he smiles, you know it's real. He's not pretending to be nice. With you, I always feel like I'm gearing up for a war, because nothing I say seem the right thing and I have no way to judge what I'm saying that's wrong or why."
She sat down and spread her legs, feet on the ground. This was starting to get somewhat weird, but as long as they talked, it was less so. "You know I wondered why someone like Travis would be with someone like you. You say that you're self-centered and arrogant, although I'm pretty sure your parents were married, but you're not any of that to me. You're... cold, and Travis is the opposite, so he must see something that I don't see, but you know something? The Thomas who argues about dropping a car down, tells me what he knows and actually cares about everyone's welfare is a lot different that the polite facade. It makes you sound too much like your parents, but not quite with the same results. Your father is good. He can put the mask and make you think he loves you. You just put the mask up and use it as a wall."
Savannah sighed. "I talk too much, right? But I never thought you'd be the one delivering this baby, and I talk when things are strange. Do you know that I didn't know what evolution was until four years ago? Or that I was a virgin before coming here? There's plenty I don't know and people have always treated me like I'm stupid. The cheerleader part didn't help. I'm stubborn and I need time for things to make sense to me, and when people go too fast I dig my heels. I can see how that sounds judgmental, but I don't think I'm manipulative or arrogant. I don't mean to be."
"Okay, how about we talk the gay man through female anatomy before the heart-to-heart gets going? How's that sound?" He moved to kneel between her legs and really... "Yes. This is officially my least sexy experience between a woman's legs. How far in am I going?"
Savannah outright giggled at his reaction. "I seem to be doing that to a lot of gay men. And not sexy is good, because then Marty might really kill you." With all of their problems, she had no doubt of that part. "Okay, it's probably easier if you use the flashlight, but if I'm that much dilated, and with the pressure I'm feeling, I should be there, you won't have to go far at all. You'll see the head."
"You ask a lot of gay men to finger you?" TJ asked, reaching for the flashlight. He couldn't help thinking she was lucky to have the gay Hammond brother doing this because the straight one would truly be freaking out over it, where TJ was just very uncomfortable.
"Okay, yes. Not that far at all and that would be the head. Now what?"
She shouldn't be finding this amusing, but she was finding hard not to laugh. "Last time, it was Sam doing that," she answered, still giggling and maybe blushing a little too. Without the maybe. "I did have Marty and G with me, and my girls turned into water. My deliveries are never boring."
Of course this is where it got harder. "I'm assuming that means that yes, I'm fully dilated and you can fit all four fingers. We time the contractions, or I do, and when they get only a few minutes apart, I push, and push and push, and if doesn't work, you'll have to make an incision." She reached between her legs. "Right here, diagonally from my vagina slanted toward my thigh. Nothing big, only a centimeter or two. It'll make the head come out. That's really the hard part. Or so the books say. I've never had to really do it before."
"Right. Babies turning to water and skewers. I remember." The world had gone nuts. The shudder of another aftershock through the rock beneath them only confirmed it. "So, basically, now we wait?"
Sighing, TJ sat back on his heels and stared at her for a moment. "You keep talking as though being polite and having manners is being dishonest. But, it's really not. What would being rude accomplish? Sure, you'd know what I thought of you more plainly, but it just makes things strained at work. I don't have to like you or be nice to be polite. It's basic courtesy that should be given to anyone. And my father can convince just about anyone he loves them." Except his own kids, who just sat around waiting for scraps when he deigned to throw them. "I don't want what comes with that. I want that wall that keeps people out. And I've never pretended to be nice to you. I haven't been anything less than honest with you at all. But, I'm not the guy who's going to be all kumbaya and warm fuzziness. It makes my skin crawl. You know, it's funny, but you're the first person who has ever said I do anything too much like my parents instead of not enough like." He huffed softly. "But, you're right about one thing. Travis is allowed to see a hell of a lot more than anyone except my brother. It's probably pretty even there, just different."
He didn't bother telling her that he still wondered why Travis was with him himself sometimes. His boyfriend was too good a man to be with TJ. But, TJ was too selfish to pretend he wouldn't hang onto Travis as long as he could.
"Maybe you don't mean to be. But, you come across that way and remind me of a few socialites from my world...the social world, not the dimension. Do you remember the first one-on-one conversation we ever had? You started out with a breathless monologue about how much you'd learned and how you'd been the first to start training and threw in a random somersault to boot, telling me, or boasting, you'd just given birth a few months earlier. You got a look of horror at the idea I don't like Disney or faerietales I've only ever seen on the face of Right Wing assholes proclaiming how evil it was to have a President whose son was gay. And, I'll admit, I wasn't very nice. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone and I was likely high. But, I didn't even mention Callen and you threatened me for making comments about how short his responses could be when you were the one who compared my responses to his in the first place.
"I'll be brutally honest if that's what you'd rather, and tell you that I've talked to a number of people since Deeks asked Travis to come back and they've all sung your praises as this sweet, friendly, caring person. But, I haven't seen that person. I've seen someone who wants to be seen that way, but who seems to go out of her way to make sure that people know if they don't behave in the ways she likes, she won't like them. I've seen someone get offended by basic manners and hurl vicious insults at someone just trying to have a pleasant conversation...someone who would do very well in my parents' world...and that's not a compliment."
"Wow, that's... " She couldn't even think of all the things she wanted to say or where to start, "But yep, we wait," she said as she got up slowly. "And I walk, and by walking I mean I take a few steps so gravity can help, and I can talk, because I talk, I do a lot of that, and somehow completely manage to not speak your language. Like at all."
She rubbed her stomach as she walk. It was almost solid rock now even when there were no contractions. Hopefully that meant they wouldn't have to wait for long. "Your father is a charmer, but it's fake. Well, not always. He's so smitten with your mom," she said, smiling. "Do you know what rude accomplishes? This, right now, talking, saying things that mean something. Not that you're being rude, but you're not being that pretend polite. This lets you talk and get to know people, and maybe you don't have to be all kumbaya, but you could have friends that are more than your brother and Travis, and yes, I get it, you don't need us, blah, blah, but what if I'm right, and we do this forever? Wouldn't it be nice to have people other than them? What about if circumstances prevent you from having them around? I'm giving birth with the one person who probably dislikes me the most, or close to it. Stuff happens here. I'm not saying it because I think I should see as much as Travis. Heck, I'm rea-"
Savannah stopped again, contraction cutting her off and she slowed down her breathing like she was supposed to do, but it still hurt. "Seventy-five seconds. I don't think we'll wait long. You know what's ironic? I could change into any other shape and the pain would be gone, except it'd drag this out forever." It wouldn't be a bad idea if her water hadn't broken. "What was I saying? Oh yes, Travis. I'm glad you've found someone here. I haven't seen anyone make it through alone, and I guess that's the problem with us, or with our discussions."
She turned around and walked back. "No one called me a socialite before. I wouldn't have any idea where to start, but that wasn't what it was. I have been here a long time, and I have gone through a lot. It's not boasting or handling, it's... it's having arrived here alone and having watched too many people die, some of them because they weren't paying attention. I've seen people get into a slump until they killed themselves When new people arrive, I try to share what I know, and I'll grant you that it might be a little too overwhelming. I'll try to tone it down, but it wasn't boasting; it was information dump, and I'm sorry if it made you feel like I was trying to act like I'm better than you.
"I grew up in a right wing family who stopped speaking to me when I transferred to a non Christian university, but what I was taught stayed with me." Savannah chuckled, but there was no humor in her voice. "I was twenty one when I got here. I believed that killing sent you to hell, being gay was a sin, premarital marriage was a big no no, I can go on and on, but I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, and then I came here, and I had to reinvent myself. I had to come to terms that I killed and would do it again. I had sex before we were married. The people I love the most are in homosexual relationships and they are...." She smiled brightly as she thought of Sam and G and Sean and Troy. "I've never seen them as happy as they are with each other. So I change to adjust to things I'd never seen before. I didn't have the most varied friends. They were all from Christian families, and then they were cheerleaders. Here I had to adjust to agents, cops, kids with no empathy, geniuses like Sheldon, criminals. Then your family arrives. Your parents I understand. I might not get the games they play, but I get the charm and the lies and the politics. They just do it at a bigger scale than the women at church. Margaret-" Savannah laughed. "She makes it very easy to understand and like her. And she can be rude in the process, but you can't hate her for that. Then there's you and your brother, and you're so out of my experience."
She sighed. "I guess you're right. I do change my way of approaching people. You call it manipulation, but it's not. It's... it's adapting and surviving. I'm growing up here with this team, and I change to make people like me, but also to make people happy. Y'all come here, having lived lives, but people like me, like Alexis, like Nick, we're taking our cues from the people around us. This is our lives, and if you think about it, it's really crappy." She stopped and wiped her tears. "Sorry about that. I talk a lot because I'm never sure if people understand what I'm saying. Anyway, crappy or not, it's what we have. We live with guns, deaths and births in the middle of a road, and I'm not going to let it stop me from having a happy life and from giving it to others if I can. It's the best thing I can do with my life," she said with determination. "I'd probably do well in your parents' world, compliment or not, because I've had to reinvent myself every couple of months since I was nineteen. I adapt and survive, but hopefully I'd be able to give that world some happiness too." She smiled at him. "And I like brutally honest more than basic manners meant to keep you away."
"And I like keeping people at a distance," TJ returned, standing as well because staying down like that made his knee and hip stiff. He pulled off the gloves. They weren't 'too yucky', as she'd put it. But, they wouldn't be sterile once he touched his bracelet and he realized it would likely be better if he didn't risk accidentally stabbing the baby in the eye with a golden nail the way it twisted around his wrist.
Slipping the bracelet into his pocket, he moved as far away as he could before fishing out his cigarettes and favorite zippo from another pocket. "I know you all hate the smoke. I'd go farther away," he told her, tapping one cigarette out and lighting it. "But there isn't room and I need something to curb the craving before I start seriously considering going for the blow instead."
He was considering what she said while he put the pack and lighter back in his pocket. The first calming drag also kept him from lashing out, which wouldn't help matters and whether Travis believed it or not, TJ was still trying to play nice for Travis' sake. "Here's the problem. You seem to want the sharing and talking, you want everyone to feel close and have ties. But, this is my chance to finally have someplace where I don't feel like everyone believes they're entitled to a piece of me. You think being polite is pretending, while I think it's normal. You're polite to people you aren't close to, period. Rudeness is reserved for arguments and putting someone in their place who won't hear anything else."
Huffing softly, he took another drag, careful to blow the smoke out in a way that wouldn't have the wind carrying it back to her. "The thing is, I don't think Doug and I are just out of your experience. I think we're out of most people's experience. Even Tommy, who was around the same sort of people, doesn't truly get it because there's a difference in being the son of a wealthy businessman and the son of the most powerful political leader in the western world, different sets of expectations to live up to, different restrictions to live with. The princesses in those faerie tales you like? They find their true love and get married and everything is perfect. But, people rarely pay attention to the life of the princes in those tails. They're just the heroes saving the damsels from a life of dreary drudgery.
"No one comments on the fact the ball Cinderella longs to go to is specifically intended for the prince to find a maiden of worthy blood to have an heir with and thus secure the continuance of the royal family. The king and queen would be just as happy to find a nice, biddable young woman who did what she was told. They just get lucky that in faerie tales the Prince can find love at first sight with a suitable mate. Sleeping Beauty? The prince doesn't know the girl in the forest is really a princess. And when he tries to tell his father he's going to marry her, the king refuses to allow it because he's been betrothed to a princess since he was a child and he needs to marry that princess to secure the alliance with the other kingdom.
"There's a story that says Washington chose to be referred to as Mr. President instead of some more grandiose title because he didn't want to be considered on a higher level than the people who elected him. But, people don't want the leader that's just like them. Not really. They elect the man who claims to be one of the people. But, they expect him...and his family...to behave with a certain level of dignity befitting a higher station. That's why you have the Kennedys being referred to as America's Camelot. The people want that royal fantasy, they put their leaders and their families up on a pedestal and watch to see if they can stay there. Then, when they fall -- and they always fall because they're just people, they have weaknesses like anyone else -- the people turn on them for spoiling their fantasy.
"The only people they can rely on are the members of their own family. Even that's not strictly true when the family has to always be aware of the expectations of the people and will push each other to meet them to maintain their positions on those pedestals. But, there's also one other thing no one ever takes into account. You hear all the time about this celebrity or that celebrity, be they actors or athletes or politicians, getting upset with the paparazzi invading their lives. And, the common reply is that they chose to be in the public eye and they just have to deal with it. Some of us never choose it, though. We're born into it and whether we want it or not, whether we're capable of dealing with it or not, our lives aren't our own. They're put out there for the world to tear apart and criticize and dictate and examine every inch of until the only way to survive is to pull everything you are inside those walls you don't like so no one can see it."
"That's a very lonely life. I'm sorry." She could probably answer point by point, but there was no reason to. "But..." She sighed. "Okay, help me out here, because I do understand the pressure. You're the Minister's son, except times a million. I was going to marry him, before I became a harlot," she said, snorting. "So you live this life and then you come here. Then why not embrace the possibilities? Sure, when we talked that first time was probably a little too soon. Sorry. Again. But now? You can be... you. I told Marty that this rift is the great equalizer. Everyone starts as an equal when they get here. Sure, in their heads they can be different, but they aren't. No matter how much your parents try, they aren't in charge, or anywhere near being in charge. You can be anything. You can have friends who like you for who you are and not who your parents are. You can have real friends. Why wouldn't you want that?"
She frowned again. "And speaking of things I don't get, I don't know what you meant, because I'm pretty sure that you weren't suggesting oral sex involving the two of us, but you can smoke. I just don't like people smoking near the kids or in enclosed places."
Savannah started to walk again, staying a little further away. "I'll give you the space if that's what you want, but I'd like to 'get' you, even if no one else does. I don't mean spending our nights watching movies and eating pop corn, although I made John do it when it was the two of us," she said, giggling. "And it's not because I want the perfect life. I love the Disney dream, and I'm an optimist, but I know life is not perfect. Just look at my family. G and Sam are missing, Kensi and Jenna are dead. My friend and doctor is somewhere I don't even know. I am for the fantasy, but I'm very much a realist, and my husband likes Travis and your brother. Knock on wood, we'll all be alive for a long time, which means we'll end up spending a lot of years together. I'd like to be your friend... or at least start." She looked down and smiled. "After all, this baby is going to have to know the person that helped bring him into this world, and yes, you are pretty much stuck with that one for life."
TJ snorted. "Tell him it was Travis. Travis actually likes kids and will get a kick out of spending time with him."
Falling silent, he focused on his cigarette for a moment, wondering how little he could get away with telling her. TJ hated this with a passion, this kind of talking that left him open to her judgement. It was different with Travis. While it had taken a while, TJ had finally come to believe Travis really wasn't judging him for any of it. But, he didn't have that kind of trust in her, hadn't been given much reason to as far as he could see.
"I can't believe you know what a blow job is but have never heard cocaine referred to as 'blow'," he said with a huff. "Blow is a street term for coke, cocaine, my drug of choice. My preferred fantasy, if you will. But, before I answer your questions, let me ask a couple of you. First, you said your parents kicked you out. After they did, did you stop wanting to please them, stop wanting to be worthy of their love and pride? And, two, your family here, is there a head of the family, someone in the family the others look to as the final decision maker or the one they want to please most?"
"Travis can be an honorary uncle if he wants. They keep talking about brother in blue, so it fits," she said, smiling, and then it turned just a little wicked. "You can be Uncle Thomas, too, if you like."
Savannah snorted. "You do not want to know all the research I've done about sex since I got here and the things I've found," she said, shivering. "I never had to research drugs. I might not like books, but I research a lot, or I'd always feel like an idiot, who doesn't know anything."
His questions though made her think, at least there was another contraction. "I'm going to start jumping to speed this along," she said when it was over. "My parents cut all contacts with me. Same with my sister. There was no way I could make them proud and do what I wanted to do. I stopped going to church, I started wearing revealing clothes, even our cheerleader uniform was not modest enough for our Christian school. Don't even get me started about coming here. I wasn't a virgin when I got married. I killed. I converted to Catholicism. I'm raising my kids Catholics and I have powers that make me Satan's spawn. I'm pretty sure that they would despise everything I've done, but if there is an Heaven, then one day, they will know that I've done what they have taught me, I've done what I thought was right. I might not have always gotten it right and I have sinned, but I've always tried to do the right thing. So hopefully, one day, in the afterlife, they will see that."
The second question made her smile. "Yes, and no. There were always jokes that G was the head of the family. Sam started it, because I'm pretty sure he didn't want to deal with all of us. He makes- made the final decision, because he was in charge of the team, but within the family? I don't think it happened as much as people think it did. Sam and G always present an united front, but they have their discussions behind the scenes. I'm pretty much the one that makes the decisions about dinners and invitations and who's in and who's out, not that I'd ever abuse that. I always tend to think about G's reaction first, but for some things, I'm more worried about Jenna and Sean. Jenna and Sean thought of Sam's. Robert... he's Robert, and Marty thinks of both Sam and G. We also think of each other. I think it comes from being thrown here as adults. We weren't a family, but we had to make one. Not your average family."
TJ rolled his eyes and just shook his head. He could give her that one...sort of. "The only family who calls me Thomas is my mother and usually when I've done one more thing to disappoint her. You or your kid ever get close enough to be family, which you'll have to if you want me to respond to 'uncle' anything, he won't know me as Thomas.
"And I would totally want to know about all the research you've done about sex," he added with a laugh. "I'd even bet I've probably done or been waiting for the opportunity to do most of it. And what I haven't, it's still probably been rumored I have by some gossip columnist."
Her answers weren't entirely unfathomable, although that might just have been because he'd started being able to understand Travis who saw things so differently from everything TJ had ever experienced. "Okay, so it doesn't completely track, but it parallels close enough to explain it to you, I think. Imagine that you did all the same things: changed schools, changed...styles, sinned, all of that. But, imagine doing it without losing contact with your parents. Instead of kicking you out, they let you stay but take every opportunity to point out everything you're doing wrong, how you're not measuring up to what a daughter of theirs should be. Now, imagine that's what you heard for your entire life, that the one constant refrain was that nothing you ever did was good enough. Not for the people who think they have a right to know everything about your life and not for the people who are the leaders of your own family, the people that conceived and raised you.
"You wanted to know earlier why I deflect or downplay what I know. The answer is that simple. It is never enough. My father was the President of the United States. My mother? She was the Secretary of State and, if we hadn't gotten sucked into this world, would have been the first woman President of the United States. My twin brother was the Chief of Staff at State and would have been Chief of Staff in the White House, the youngest ever to hold either position. Even here, my sister-in-law was the youngest in her class at one of the more prestigious med schools as well as top of her class and later the youngest person ever appointed Chief Medical Examiner for all of Massachusetts. All of them have multiple degrees and a list of accomplishments a mile long, if not five in my parents' case. Did you pay attention to any of the things that were said when I announced my decision to leave the group when Vance offered the out? I have been the family liability my entire life, the one who can't quite cut it in their world, who screws up everything he touches."