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Savannah Monroe (savannah_monroe) wrote in omega_reality,

"I don't know what you're trying to fix, because I don't know what 'this' is, Marty," she answered. "This started with a pretty simple conversation: can I teach sniper classes? It wasn't some trick question, but a simple question to the man in charge, and it spiraled into... I don't even know. Everything I said that night was twisted and turned against me, making me wonder why the heck you're still with me when it didn't sound like you liked anything I said or did."

Savannah sighed. "You're sorry for what, Marty? Forget all the things I think are wrong with... pretty much everything right now. Why are you apologizing? What part didn't you mean? That we should be understanding because their cushy life hasn't prepared them for this? That they were right leaving because they were fighting with their parents? That Jenna was wrong for not trusting him? That I should be nice and understanding, because you like them? Which part didn't you mean? Because it sounded like you meant everything you said."

She shook her head. "I still don't know what's going on with you. You blamed me for not being myself, you told me that I must be not doing well without G and that I might be overreacting because I miss them. Maybe all of that it's true, but I wasn't the one bringing those problems into this house. I was going to see a woman I don't particularly like or trust on a weekly basis, even after I felt she insulted me. I just said that the woman was exhausting and you couldn't let it go. I never even said anything about your team until that night. I'm the one that invited them to dinner even though I didn't like them even before that dinner. I did more than I was supposed to do for you, but it wasn't enough. You still had to push. I don't know why it's so important for you that I'm friends with those people. I don't know why you need to talk to me. I don't know why you can't talk to me even though you need to talk to me. You can't tell me why you trust Douglas so much. You can't tell me pretty much anything. Except I've made it very easy for you. I'm not discussing anything that doesn't deal with work, the house or the kids. You say I'm off the team and I said fine. I'm not arguing with you; I'm not bargaining with you. I'm following orders, even though I'm supposed to see that witch if I ever want to go back to work, because as you told me, I'd never have to see a doctor I don't trust. You do remember that little discussion, right? But did I complain? No, I'm going to see her when I'm ready to be reinstated. So if you want to talk to me, then talk. You don't want to talk, don't talk, but I'm tired of guessing, which is why we're having different conversations. You say things, but the reasoning behind those things make no sense, so I'm left wondering what's the motivation, and you've proven that I know just about everyone on this team better than I know my husband, because I can't get it right. So I've stopped guessing. When you're ready to tell me what's going on, then you can tell me."