InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I step out of the ordinary."

_oliver_queen (_oliver_queen) wrote in omega_reality,
@ 2013-02-08 09:02:00

Entry tags:

*complete, 2013 02, character: oliver queen, character: tommy merlyn

RP: Oliver/Tommy
Who: Oliver/Tommy
When: 2-8-13
Where: Their room
Summary: Whinging Oliver is whinging.

Replies to emails weren't always prompt unless it was essential. Plus, they were all busy from sunup to sundown and sometimes didn't feel like doing anything but going to bed. When Oliver checked his email on Friday night, he muttered profanity under his breath as he typed out a reply.

Tommy entered the bedroom on the heels of Oliver's commentary, and at the questioning look Oliver told him, "These stupid physicals are mandatory and Dr. Isles won't cooperate. She's going to have to pry me out of my clothes if she thinks she's going to get them off."

Only five people had seen his body since he'd returned from the island, and one of them was the doctor who gave him a physical upon his return. His health was fine. He didn't need a stranger poking and proding and asking questions.

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tommy_merlyn
2013-02-08 08:30 pm UTC (link)

"I know that, Oliver. I do, but you weren't there." Tommy rolled away and got up. He started to pace, all too aware that these houses had thin walls that let people hear everything if they wanted to. "You weren't there. My mother was dead. My father? Fuck if I know what he does. He was never around unless he needed me at some event, and you were still dead. It wasn't the bad things that were the problem. It was... it was missing the only two people that have ever meant anything to me. It was not knowing if I could survive another day with that hole in my heart. I didn't want to be in control, Oliver. I wanted to stop the pain."

He took a deep breath. "The only time I got close to numbing the pain was with Laurel, and thinking back, maybe the reason we ended up in bed together was because we missed you, and then you came back, and I still felt like I didn't have you in my life."

He shook his head. "No, I don't think you do remember, because you spent your life trying to survive. I spent my life trying to make the world disappear, and now it's hard to remember how to fight, but I'm trying, because of you."

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_oliver_queen
2013-02-08 08:49 pm UTC (link)

Oliver got up and went to Tommy. He put his hands on Tommy's shoulders. "You misunderstood. I meant now, here, in the present, I want you to be in control of your decisions and your actions rather than take the easy escape. It's hard, and miserable, but you're succeeding in spite of that and I hope you're proud of yourself for keeping on going."

He looked at Tommy seriously. "I can't imagine what it was like for you. I shut down in order to survive and trying to reconnect to feeling anything for anyone else is like trying to climb sheer glass. But I see you on the other side of the glass waiting, so I keep climbing. If it weren't for you being here with me, I wouldn't even try. You're important to me, Tommy, and I'm sorry that I caused you any pain."

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tommy_merlyn
2013-02-08 09:05 pm UTC (link)

"I'm trying to, because I might joke about it, but I don't want you to risk your life for me, not really. I'm self-aware enough to know that it might come to that, but I'll do what I can to prevent that," he said. 'I don't want you to get hurt because of me."

Tommy rested both hands on Oliver's arms, not sure if he wanted to push his friend away or pull him closer. Things always got so messed up and confused in his head when he talked to Oliver, saying a lot more than he planned to ever say.

"Yes, you can, Oliver. You shut down to survive and I shut down. It's not that different. You fought, I used drugs. We both isolated ourselves, we both build walls, and we both know how to smile to make people stop asking questions. The right joke, the right touch. God, Oliver, I'm not that different from you. I've ended up in apartments with women I had fucked before, and I couldn't recognize them at all. I recognized their TVs or their CD collection or whatever, but I didn't recognize the women. So yes, if you want to know what it was like for me, it was much like it was for you. Maybe not the circumstances, but the feelings were the same."

He shook his head. "It's not your fault, Oliver. You didn't cause this. It's my fault. I was home, I was alive, I had all the privileges possible, and I couldn't function without you. I couldn't even tell people. Your mother and sister were mourning you. Laurel had lost you and her sister. Who was I to whine?" He looked up at his friend, trying to find something in Oliver's eyes, maybe some sort of understanding when Tommy didn't even understand. "You're the most important person in my life and I will always be here for you. And, if we can't climb that glass wall, then we'll just have to break it down."

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	_oliver_queen 2013-02-08 09:13 pm UTC (link)
	Oliver hugged Tommy, because Tommy needed it and maybe Oliver did, too. "I'll fight tooth and nail to keep from going anywhere. You're stuck with me, Merlyn. Scars and all." (Reply to this) (Parent)

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