InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I'll always be second to him."

Savannah Monroe (savannah_monroe) wrote in omega_reality,
@ 2013-01-05 15:21:00

Entry tags:

*complete, 2013 01, character: alexis castle, character: brian kinney, character: bud hammond, character: claudia donovan, character: derek reese, character: dominic vail, character: douglas hammond, character: elaine barrish hammond, character: john connor, character: margaret barrish, character: marty deeks, character: maura isles, character: nell jones, character: oliver queen, character: robert callen, character: savannah monroe, character: sean hanna, character: thomas hammond, character: tim riggins, character: tommy merlyn, character: travis marks, character: troy bolton, dead: jenna hanna, dead: leon vance, dead: mike renko, dead: nick green, dead: sheldon cooper

RP: Club Night
Who: Public (add your tags if your pups are there)
Where: Rec Center
When: Saturday, January 5, 2013
Summary: It's a new old tradition.

It was almost like they were going back in time, trying to recreate the unity that existed when they were running the club. Or maybe that unity had all been in Savannah's head. She wasn't sure. Now, with multiple families and groups, there were too many different agendas.

She didn't like it.

Hopefully, spending time together would help create a real group and not a bunch of people sticking around for necessity.

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Re: Elaine/TJ

elaine_hammond
2013-01-05 02:02 am UTC (link)

Elaine laughed at his comment. "I feel like I've put the breaks and are going no where slowly. What was it? Doug can be more precise than me, but we visited something like 102 countries while we were at State, traveled an average of two hundred and eight thousand miles a year. This is like being at a standstill. If he hadn't proposed before the appointment, he'd never had found the time to be in the same city as Anne."

She hooked her arm with his, leaned closer. "Then I am asking, and I am glad that you're happy. I missed you, both of you, and you can't fault me for worrying. You are my boys and as long as I'm alive, I will worry about you."

Elaine looked at him for a moment. "Did you find what you were looking for?" She still didn't understand, but she wanted to make sure that they were all right. "What about Doug? He seems... I don't know... resigned. What happened, sweetheart?"

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Re: Elaine/TJ

hammond_tj
2013-01-05 04:14 am UTC (link)

"Maybe that's a good thing," TJ pointed out. "You get a chance to appreciate the world around you. I mean, a hundred and two countries? And I'll bet most of them are a blur, aren't they? In and out so fast you only see airports and hotels or government offices? Doug barely had time to see Anne when he proposed because of the campaign. She and I had to conspire to get them together in one room." Doug had seen his girlfriend/fiancee/wife even less than TJ had gotten to check on his club.

"I don't fault you for worrying, Mama." TJ leaned over and kissed her cheek. "I missed you, too."

He thought abouthow to answer that one for a moment. "Not totally. I figured out a little more about what it is I'm looking for. But, I don't think I've gotten it yet. I'm still working on it, though." Biting his lip, he shook his head. "Nothing happened. Not like the way you mean. What he said the other night is pretty true. We got jobs. We made friends. We had this tiny little apartment with not enough furniture and...we were happy, or learning to be. It wasn't perfect. But, it was good."

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Re: Elaine/TJ

elaine_hammond
2013-01-05 04:25 am UTC (link)

She leaned in and whispered. "Do you see where we live? There's not much to appreciate," she said, smiling. "I remember enough. I remember the people. It's why I was there in the first place. I enjoyed it, TJ. I felt alive, no matter how tired I was. It's what I've always loved about our lives." She chuckled. "And yet, that was probably the least amount of work he did. It got progressively worse after that first run, with State and then the new campaign."

Elaine smiled. "I couldn't stop even if I wanted to."

She ran her hand over his arm. "And what is it that you're looking for? Can you tell me in a way I understand." The rest she didn't believe. Something had happened, whether TJ realized it or not. She knew Doug and his moods; she understood the polite detachment too well. "I don't mean it in anyway, TJ. I'm just wondering why he is so upset. He's been civil to your dad. You know he's upset when he won't argue with him."

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Re: Elaine/TJ

hammond_tj
2013-01-05 05:36 am UTC (link)

"Oh, I can see something worth appreciating." TJ let his gaze wander to Travis before smirking at his mother. "Your life, Mom. I never lived that part of your life. Not that I'm complaining. I didn't want it. But, other than for the campaigns, you shared that with Doug, with Dad, not me. It was your lives, not ours. My life was...The Dome, all those failed business ventures before it." TJ nodded. "Yeah, it probably was." And now Doug had nothing to show for it.

While TJ was gaining things he'd never realized he wanted.

No wonder his brother was pissed at him.

"T.J.," he told her. "I'm looking for T.J. buried under Thomas Hammond somewhere, my place in all this. You and Dad and Doug, you've always known exactly where you were going and what you were doing when you got there. I never have. The three of you aren't an easy act to follow, you know." He smiled a little, then sighed. "But, maybe that's part of what's bothering Doug. The other part is me. I was careless. I hurt him and I have to be the one to fix it."

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Re: Elaine/TJ

elaine_hammond
2013-01-05 05:46 am UTC (link)

Elaine shook her head, but she was smiling. "You're as bad as your father," she said affectionately. "Wasn't your life, too? You might not have wanted it or even liked it, but we've dragged you through it with us. I know our choices affected you regardless of what you wanted."

She still wasn't sure that she understood completely. She'd never searched for herself, always too busy getting to the next step: college, law school, North Carolina, projects there, the White House, Illinois, back to State. "Do you hear the difference? You want to find yourself. We knew what we were going to do. It's not the same thing, but then you're right. We never had time on who we are. We're too busy doing things. Or were too busy."

Elaine sighed. "I can't blame him. Like it or not, our lives are over. Your grandmother said that I should start discovering who I am, but I don't care about who I am. It's what I can do, and I can't do anything here. The nation, the politics, the law, they gave us a reason for being. We have none of that. The only thing your father and I have now is you and your brother. We won't be able to give him what he wants. God knows we've tried, but we can give you your happiness."

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Re: Elaine/TJ

hammond_tj
2013-01-05 04:41 pm UTC (link)

"I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not." TJ snorted softly. "That part of it really wasn't, though, Mom. Not the constant travel, never having enough time to stop and look around. Doug and I were in school for both of Dad's terms. So, the only travelling we did with you was during the summers. And after, when we weren't in school, Doug is the one that saw the world with you, Mom. Doug's the one who visited a hundred countries with you. You brought me on the campaigns, skiing holidays in the Alps, but no, that part of it wasn't my life, too."

He stared at her a moment and then sighed. "Of course I hear the difference. I've heard the difference, seen the difference, and been told the difference my entire life. You knew what you were going to do because that is who you are. You do things. You see something to be done and you do it because you know you can, you know you're the best for the job. I'm pretty sure if you cut a vein you'll bleed politics. I just bleed."

For a moment, his mother sounded so much like Doug, TJ blinked to make sure he was still talking to her and not his twin. "I guess that's the part I don't understand, that sounds like giving up, which is not what any of you do. You're not the people who give up. I am. Our lives aren't over; they're changed. Please don't take this the wrong way, but Doug and I are over thirty years old, Mom. The time to focus on us was when we were kids. You're only sixty. You should find something else that makes you happy. You can't spend the next twenty years living for two adults who should get their own lives, wherever we end up, be that here or six dimensions away."

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Re: Elaine/TJ

elaine_hammond
2013-01-05 05:27 pm UTC (link)

Elaine chuckled. "It is. I like your father." She looked around the room and smiled as she saw Bud talking to Vance. "No, not State, but we hardly traveled just during state. It was different, I grant you that, and you had school, but you are right, that's something that I didn't even share with your father. We both traveled and went to different parts of the world even when we were married. It comes with the job. Doug got to share it with me."

She brushed his hair, looking at him. "I meant that you're still looking for who you are. We never stopped long enough to care who we are or what damage we did to others. We only know how to do things. I wasn't criticizing you. We might be better politicians, but maybe you're a better person. Have you ever thought that?"

She smiled again, but it was a sad one. "Sweetheart, nothing even comes close to the White House. As you said, we don't know how to do anything else. We fix problems, we do things, and we can't do that here, because a legend would never withstand the scrutiny we might receive, we can't to do it in another dimension, because we won't have the resources to create that legend, and we certainly can't do it at home. This is why we'll do whatever you and Doug want to do. It wasn't a decision your father and I made when you were coming back. We had this discussion when we got here, and confirmation that we are dead at home only re-enforced it. I can't go back in time and change the past. I don't know if I would, to be honest with you, but I can support you and Dougie in whatever you choose."

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Re: Elaine/TJ

hammond_tj
2013-01-05 11:08 pm UTC (link)

"I'm not really all that much like him except for the libido, though, am I?" There was a wistful little boy tone in his voice that TJ hated hearing. But, it always happened when he talked about his family or to them in these rare moments when they actually tried to talk. But, that was the problem. He hadn't felt like he had a place in the family, the world, for years. Even now, he was still stumbling along the side of the road more often than he was really on a path anywhere.

But, he could only stare at his mother for a long moment, trying to suppress the sudden surge of emotion. "No, Mama, I've never thought that. Ever." Always the opposite.

"You sound like Doug," he went on after a moment. She really did. The White House was everything. Hell, he shouldn't be surprised. It was unlikely his father had come back just before she declared her run by accident. His father could smell political action before it was thought of most of the time. "And maybe it's good enough for you, but it shouldn't be good enough for him. He's too young for his life to be over. Okay, the White House is out. But, there have to be other dreams, other things to want, things that maybe aren't as grand or public, but are still important. I'm not saying I've even made a choice to go or stay because I haven't and I won't without Doug and Travis' input. But, neither option should be considered without know what we want, knowing for sure what will make us happy because once we make that choice, there's no undo. If we stay, we can't change our minds and follow them later. And if we go, we can't change our minds and ask to be sent back here. Once it's done, it's done."

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