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Tweak says, "It's all about teh love."

Sam Hanna (sam_hanna) wrote in omega_reality,
@ 2012-02-22 20:19:00

Entry tags:

*complete, 2012 02, character: g callen, character: sam hanna

RP: Sam and G
Who: Sam and G
Where: their home
When: February 22, 2012
Summary: Sam is still finding way to make it up to G

Sunday night had been a lot better than the rest of the weekend, and Sam had done his best to make it up to G. Not with words, because he knew that those would be useless, but with touches and kisses, but he wasn't done. He just got creative.

Good thing about overnight shipping and online ordering, because that was the only way he pulled this off.

He waited until after dinner, and then went to their spare room, and came back. "I got something for you. I thought you deserve it for being so patient. After all, we know who the patient one is in this partnership, but since rewarding good behavior is supposed to encourage behavior in the future...." He trailed off as he put a box on the coffee table. Inside, there was a bear, with camo briefs and a uniform. Sam had gotten a rifle, then he had drawn tattoos with a sharpies and finally he had cut the stomach and sewed it back together. "See if you like it."

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g_callen
2012-02-23 05:41 am UTC (link)

G's smirk deepened. "The stuffed bear can rest. I'll take the O.G. Killer Teddy any day."

Meeting Sam's kiss, he added his own, drawing it out, before leaning back to speak. "They can tell me all they like. It doesn't make it easier to believe weighed against past history." He wasn't sure he'd ever really, consciously believe he deserved all this. There would always be that thought in the back of his mind that he wasn't good enough for his parents, couldn't be good enough for anyone. But, when Sam said it, he came as close to believing as he ever had. "Only marriage that matters, legalities or not, teddy bears or cards or not."

Sighing, he settled back and thought about what Sam was saying. Then he shook his head. "No, I don't wonder. If anything, it would make that belief worse. You and I know we don't work that way. The family knows we don't work like other people. But, to most people that's how it would work. They would make that assumption and believe it even more strongly because they believe that's how couples work." He shrugged one shoulder. "Maybe both. It says they make assumptions without paying attention to the facts and that we are what we always have been. Even at home people saw us as a unit because of how well we worked together in the field."

G studied Sam for a long moment. "Are you thinking you don't want to keep us a secret any more?"

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sam_hanna
2012-02-23 05:55 am UTC (link)

"I guess I can let you manhandle me this once." One comment had turned into another one of their inside jokes that no one else got. So many of them through the years, and that was how they had gotten to this point.

"It's all right. I'm still here and still reminding you, but maybe just this once, your brother can convince you better than I can." Sam would never stop trying to get G closer to Robert, just like he had done with Savannah. He'd seen something there and hadn't been wrong. "What marriage would it be if I didn't give you the bear, the cards and everything else? It's my job to make you happy."

Sam ran his hand over G's back as he listened. "Maybe. I don't know. It's feels like it doesn't make much of a difference." The question surprised him, because he wasn't thinking about that at all. "Mine was more an intellectual curiosity." The way the question was phrased made him pause. "I don't think we are keeping us a secret. There's nine of us, John and Kinney. No way that Vance doesn't know. Three profilers know. That's fifteen out of twenty-eight, twenty-nine with Liam. If you take out the kids who probably don't care one way or another, there aren't that many people who don't know. Do I feel the need to go out there and kiss you in front of everyone. Sometimes. Generally, I'm good for now, not because I want to keep you or us a secret, but because I don't see the need to tell them."

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g_callen
2012-02-23 05:49 pm UTC (link)

"Just this once." G agreed, still with that little smirk that barely hinted at the myriad of things going on in his mind at any given time.

"Maybe I don't want to believe it? When I start to believe it, I'll start taking this for granted, expecting what right now is still an unbelievable gift." Smiling softly, he ran his thumb over Sam's lip before kissing him with the tenderness Sam himself had been the one to teach him was okay. "It'd be the marriage I want. I don't need the stuff, Sam. It's nice and I like that you do things to try to give me some of the normal I've missed. But, it isn't the cards or the bear that make me happy."

G couldn't help snorting. "Fifteen of twenty-nine. We used to be a lot better at this." The idea Sam wanted to kiss him in front of everyone, even sometimes, stirred up a mess of emotions from pleased surprise to straight out fear. It went against everything that made G who he was to think about letting others see into his private life, to give them access to what and who was most important to him. But, at the same time, the part of him that needed to belong and craved Sam's possession, wasn't disappointed. "There is no need for them to know. The family knows. We know. But, you're good for now? Implying later this may change?"

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sam_hanna
2012-02-23 07:04 pm UTC (link)

"Just this once," Sam repeated with a very similar smirk. They both knew that it wouldn't be the first or the last time., and neither would mind.

Sam nodded. "You've said that before and I'm not telling you to take anything for granted. You never really do, even when you believe that you deserve it. I could never take you for granted." Sam closed his eyes, letting the kiss do the talking. "No one needs the stuff, but the reminders are still nice. I might not fix the past, but I can make our future better."

He chuckled. "We were much better. More than half know. It's a horrible track record." Sam stared at G, trying to guess what was in his lover's head, knowing too well that what G said often hid a lot more and he wanted to be very specific about this. "I love you, G and I don't want to keep you or us a secret, but our lives are made of secrets and I know it's hard to let go of that instinct that tells us to hide. I also know that the reasons for keeping us a secret don't really exist anymore. As I said, I don't feel the need to tell people, but I'm not going to worry if more people or everyone finds out. It's only a matter of time anyway."

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g_callen
2012-02-23 08:34 pm UTC (link)

"Feels like I would," G replied with a shrug. He knew too much of what it was like to live without all these things most people took for granted. Questions, holes, a lack of something at pretty much every level, it was what made him who he was. What if he began to believe and stopped being who he was? Who would he be then if he forgot all the things that shaped him, the few pieces of himself he'd been left? "Just be in my future as long as we have one."

Hiding was hardwired into G, went beyond simple instinct to survival at it's most primitive. Just the thought of being open about things made him twitch. But, in the end, would it change much? They were more relaxed with the family, but even their relaxed was miles away from the sort of openness people like Savannah or Sean indulged in, or even Dom and Jenna. And, still, there was that other voice that welcomed the unasked for confirmation of Sam's claims upon him.

Then again, if he admitted those reasons for keeping the secret didn't exist anymore, he'd have to admit that he was never going home, would never find the answers he still desperately needed. And if he did that...?

"What do you want? To not hold back when those 'sometimes' arrive? Relax hiding without telling anyone, just letting them find out? I'm not sure where you're going with this."

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