Dante Lot (unseen_miami) wrote in olympian_rewind, @ 2009-07-19 12:59:00 |
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Entry tags: | dante lot, hades, hestia, tessia sloac |
Who: Hades & Hestia
What: Admissions, Pt2
Where: Lot/Sloac House
When: After this
Warnings: none
Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.
Hestia glanced up again at the clock in the kitchen, her hands wringing a little, while she alternated between pacing and sitting herself down in the chair facing the front door. He'd been gone a while. A long while. Was he coming back this time? Yes, she told herself, he'd never just run off and leave her and children here alone. She knew that much. But... she worried anyway for him.
Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.
The rain had let up and so did Hades' anger and even his sorrow, at least back to normal, manageable levels. As he approached the house, he caught sight of the kitchen lights and he couldn't be surprised by it. Of course Hestia would be waiting for him in the light of the kitchen. It was so much of her person.
As quietly as he could, but knowing she would know he entered the house, but didn't turn to the kitchen immediately. He knew his clothing was wet and he could see where the wet grass had stained them. He didn't want to hang around in wet clothes and probably have a conversation. One or the other.
There was a squeak as she heard, and felt, the door opened and she paused in her pacing to look out into the house. With the rest of the house unlit, she couldn't see much further than the kitchen. "Dante?" she called quietly.
“Yeah,” he called back, walking down his basement steps. He had a change of clothes down there and they were closer than any closet or dresser, “Give me a second. It was raining.”
"Oh, okay." She waited in the back patiently, though still shifting from foot to foot nervously. At least he was back.
Pulling on a tshirt and pair of thankfully dry khakis, Hades emerged from the basement again, brushing his wet blond hair back. His wet hair was the only true evidence of his having been outside. Now he approached her, “Hello. Back.”
"Welcome back," she said with an honestly glad smile.
“Feel better now. Really did have to get out and work out what was going on in my brain,” he replied honestly. He did feel better now. His emotions subdued back inside of him where they belonged.
"I'm sorry," she blurted reflexively. "I just... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have sprung that on you."
“It was a lot to process at once,” he replied softly and then took her hand to move them both to the couch of the living room.
She followed after him, holding his hand tight. It trembled a little between his fingers. "Are you angry at me?" She couldn't blame him.
He could feel the trembling and gave her hand a gentle squeeze to try to reassure her, “[Yes, but I'm more angry at Zeus.]”
"[Please don't be. He only did what I begged him to do.]"
Hades frowned a little just thinking about it, “[He should have known better.]”
"[You didn't see me then...]" She sat down on the couch, looking away. She didn't want him to see her guilt. "[I love our brother but when he wants something... I didn't think. I just ran. It was a stupid decision, and I regret it. I didn't put into thought what would happen. It's my fault. Don't be angry at Zeus... but I don't blame you for being angry at me.]"
“[You were at least afraid. Zeus was not. I will blame him all I want.]” Hades sighed a little as he settled on the couch, letting his head rest along the back cushions.
She sighed, though for different reasons, and scooted over closer to him. Huh. Leaning in, she sniffed him. "[Did you fall down? You smell like dirt and grass.]"
Hades gently nudged her away from him, having a sudden flashback of when Dionysus sniffed him. He couldn't believe people actually sniffed people but he knew he didn't like it, “[I didn't fall but I was on the dirt and the grass when I stopped storming.]”
"[Ahh...]" She sat where she was nudged, looking down at her hands, trying to get her thoughts together.
“[The stains will make a good distraction for you.]” He would never understand her joy at defeating a deep set stain but he supposed he didn't have to. And then he waited. Was this it? Nothing else?
No, not really, but Hestia was not a woman of grand words or thoughts, or at least she believed it. "[I didn't just tell you that because I wanted to confess, though I know I should've told you long before now. I'll always feel bad about it... But, I had to say it before I said this. You want me and Persephone to make the decision, right? About what you are to us, and what we are to you?]"
And here we go. Hades braced for this one. “[Yes, I do.]”
"[I don't think that's entirely fair. I mean, we can make a decision, but you still have to decide to act on it, don't you?]"
Hmm, that wasn't what he was expecting. He sat up properly and tapped the arm of the couch in quiet thought, “[How is that not fair?]”
"[Because we could make the decision. But you still can decide that you don't like it, can't you? What if we decided we were both just going to leave with the children. You couldn't just agree with that.]" she replied calmly, looking up at him.
Hades held back the growl that threatened to escape him at her hypothetical threat, but he kept his frown, “[Obviously the decision has to be legal.]” Then, he touched her cheek, but it was as comforting as it was a subtle threat, “[And if either of you tried, I would tie you up in court until they were 18.]”
She understood the meaning and moved the hand away from her face. Just a bit. "[What I'm asking is. If I made a decision right now, even if you disliked it, would you agree with it?]"
“[I just want a decision that the two of you agree on about the three of us.]” Hades returned to reclining against the back cushions of the couch, while tapping the arm in continuous thought. He didn't understand why this was so difficult to under or do. He just didn't. “[And I would hope they two of you would make a choice that wouldn't hurt me... or at least limit the pain. The both of you say you care after all.]”
While he reclined, Hestia sat up straighter. Instead of tapping her fingers, hers encoiled themselves into her skirt until her knucles were white as flour. "[Then I wan--]" She stopped and rethought. No. It wasn't something she wanted. At all. "[Then I think... she should be with you. Not just the two of us. Persephone,]" she forced out, word by word, staring down at her knees. Why were they shaking?
Hades blinked, “[What are you saying?]”
"[That. It'd be. Better. For you and-and her.]" Hestia had to stop then. She was finding it harder to talk, near impossible considering how much effort she was putting into not running away, or crying, or just telling him to ignore her and come back to bed and never leave again.
Maybe it was because he was sitting the position he had sent hours, days, months even, judging in that he found himself considering her with very neutral but piercing eyes. He could hear her difficulty of speech and see her tormented posture. “[And why do you say that?]”
"[Because.... because I had my chance. Then, and a year ago. And both times I lost. I... I think you should just...]" No more. Hestia shook her head and brushed her hand at her nose, her message clear if not precise.
Hades nodded. He understood her words and agreed with them. She had had her chance, at least in the past. A year ago wasn't quite fair as he said right up front that he would leave if Persephone desired him. And she had so he did. But then Persephone left him. Cast him away. Even though she had been tricked, even though she had been scared. “[She had her chance, too. She could have chosen me completely back then. She could have remained with me now. You are both with merit and both with flaws. That's why I want both of you to decide together.]”
"[She knows and understands you. What do I have?]" she murmured. "[Even if I mean it well, everything I say and do upsets you. She made a mistake... but she makes you happier. This whole thing with the drugs, Baulder, all of it... I couldn't handle it, I only upset both of us. I think it's just... just better for everyone. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore.]"
“[She was the cause of the drugs. That wound she suffered me with and you removed yourself from Baulder. She didn't do likewise when she faced her own temptation.]” Hades fell into ancient manners and speech patterns, but he did reach out to her in modern affection, resting his hand upon her shoulder. Both were attempts at comfort. “[She understands me more because she has been with me longer. But ultimately, if I am worth your effort and struggle is your choice. But now is not the time to decide. You're upset.]”
"[I shouldn't have to learn. I'm supposed to be the goddess of housewives...]" she replied, though she did lean in closer, her hand moving up to rest her fingers on his.
“[That's your problem then. One, you are not a housewife to to me,]” Hades moved his fingers to entwine them with hers, “[And two, Sister, you are the goddess of housewives, the not the perfect wife. Stop trying to steal Hera's domain.]”
Finally, a smile. She giggled a little, covering it with the free hand demurely. "[I guess... I just...]" Looking up at him, she said honestly, though painfully, "[I do love you. With all my heart. When I say I believe you could have made me happy if I had not allowed my fear and stupidity then blind me, I really do mean it. But I made the choice not to. I made a selfish choice then, and I made one again when I wanted you for a lover even when I knew Persephone could return. I... I thought, even if for a moment, if I could see what it could have been maybe it'd be some sort of closure but then it all happened so fast and...]"
She shook her head. "[I'm blabbering. In the end, Hades, I want you to be happy. But... I can't share you. I'm petty like that... I want to know that I'm the only one that can hold a place in your heart, and your bed. I just don't feel secure feeling like I'm just borrowing you. And if-if that means... you leaving...]" She twinged at the idea. Just the idea hurt... "[Then I can live with that... if it means I can put things right again. Does that make sense at all, brother?]"
“[Not really. In a way, I have always had to share to enjoy love.]” Hades let his hand remain there as he looked away, merely to gather his thoughts. He hadn't had to share when he was Hestia for those brief months, had he? No, but... “[And you were able to share once. You never dwelt alone in my heart. I can't understand what you're saying, because if I were in your place I would move mountains just to hold on. I'm not good at letting go of anything.]”
Hestia understood what he meant, at least she thought so... "[I want to hold on,]" she whispered. "[I really, really do. But what good has it brought either of us aside from our sons?]"
“[I think you underestimate how important our sons are, but fine,]” Hades sighed and rubbed his eyes in frustrated thought. He really wished Hestia did know him better. All this talking was really tiring. “[Those first months were the first time I have been loved without me having to struggle as hard as I could to receive it. At least from my own perspective. No guilt, no desperation, nothing. I just had to be there.]”
Underestimate their sons? She wanted to sigh at him but instead Hestia blinked at his last words. "[That's all I do want,]" she said, confused herself. Was he saying she made him feel that way now? Or that he just felt that way now for other reasons? "[For you to just be here, I mean.]"
Hades shrugged, “[You asked what good it brought either of us...]”
She considered that, clearly giving it hard thought. "[Then can I ask you a question?]"
“[I guess so.]”
Well, that was kind of a yes. "[If I say then that I want you to stay with me. And just me. And that I honestly, truly, really do want to put an effort into learning how to understand and communicate with you better, but that it would be just us, could you handle that?]" she asked, her face suddenly deadly serious.
Hades seriously wondered if he had begun speaking in Tibetan and that's why they were going around in circles, “[Trick question, that isn't what's on the table. The two of you have to decide and agree. Now, if you both decide that is for the best, then yes, I could handle that.]”
Well he was dealing with a woman who had been putting her own emotions -- and hormones -- off to the side for several thousand years... So, it was about the same. She paused to consider with a sigh. She had been so sure... Now she clearly wasn't anymore. "[I just don't know,]" she finally said, slumping into the seats like jell-o. "[I'm just so tired.]"
“[You are.]” Hades rose to his feet then, and swept her up into his arms. He really did feel for Hestia because he knew how she felt. In some way, he did understand the pain in her heart. There was just little he could do about it. “[I'll bring you to bed.]”
"[I'm sorry...]" said a tired little voice from somewhere by his neck where her head was curling up against him. She shivered at the feel of his naturally cold skin, combined with the lingering effect of the cold rain, but she still clung to him. "[I'll make it better. I promise.]"
Pushing passed their bedroom door, he laid her down on the bed and sat beside her, “[For you to try is all I ask.]”
Nodding, she reached out for him, tugging him. "[I know, at least, that you don't sleep well... but can you lie with me? I don't mind if you leave after. It's nice to have company.]"
Hades nodded and allowed himself to be tugged beside her, wrapping his arms around her to hold her. His heart demanded that he give her that much, especially after making out with Persephone in the rain just to get his mind back in check. It really was the least he could do. He pulled her close, letting her head rest atop his chest like he knew she liked, “[I'll stay the night. I don't mind watching you sleep.]”
She smiled, and even blushed. Just like the good old days. "[I don't mind it either.]"
Gently, he stroked her hair and kissed her atop her head, “[Sleep now. You have to sleep for the both of us.]”
"[Okay. Good night. I love you.]"
Summary: After he returns from Perse, Hestia needs to finish her talk and it works better than the first time. Nothing is really settled.