"Honestly," Jessica was saying before that pamphlet was even in her hands, because there were red flags all over the cover alone, but was happy to really commit to picking them all out, "this is definitely a cult. It's brilliant, this is the perfect, desperation soaked recruiting ground, but for real, for your safety, keep your distance. Unless you're into having nine wives, in which case, I'm not judging, let's get her over here and do you up, that just lets me know to get the fuck out of here nice and early. These places are usually fuck-racist, though, I just want you to know. They just have so many other good qualities, we don't usually get around to bringing that one up." If she could find a casual way to start getting emergency contact information out of her speed-dates, Jessica might have been on her way to a profitable quarter.