I get...obsessed. With things. You know, and when I'm in a relationship I can, maybe not feel it click over, but I can see it, at some point, I realize, this is a familiar place. I don't know if that's normal, or they don't notice, or they like the attention so it doesn't bother them...
I've loved Steve since before we met. That's the truth.
If I'm blind to it this time, if I'm just, I'm in too deep and I can't get the perspective because there's no way to have one, not even when I put in the hours at the meetings and when I can check the system code over and over again in my head, like how did this one end, what corrupted that one-- maybe I've never had perspective. You know, I've never really broken up with someone? Not really. I've been shot. Couple times. Maybe that counts. What I mean is, I think even if I'm blind, I think Steve could see it. Sometimes he's a big fucking asshole about, you know, other people, but most of the time he sees right through me.
What I'm saying is, I'm not really scared. Not of that, anyway. Even if I am--... What's so bad, when it's something so good for you? I'm not half as good at anything, without him.
I don't mean I was in love with him, I know that's crazy. I had to look into his eyes for that.