Wutz up Wutz up! I'm Ophelia and I come bearing Mafalda Hopkirk also known as Genghis Cunt. She's twenty two, and someone should really remind her of that sometimes, because it's like she's going on forty. She's a slytherin alumni, because ambition is what she eats for breakfast, and currently works for the ministry. She had some drama she will never ever ever willingly share with anyone surrounding her family and was raised by her uncle who was sort of a nit-picking, perfectionist, asshat, which made Mafalda into a nit-picking, perfectionist, asshat. It's a vicious cycle.
Mafalda has worked very hard to get to where she is. And by work, I mean cheat, scheme, and sabotage anyone who could seriously be considered a rival. She would like to think that she has outgrown her bursts of violent machination (that's not true at all, but Mafalda has issues so we'll let her think it is). She's not the friendliest woman you could ever meet in your whole life and her conversations with you were probably composed of borderline-rude-to-blatantly-rude sentences of 6 words or less. The exceptions are friends (even I'm not sure how she ended up with any of these) and people who like to, for whatever unknown reason, pick fights with her. In either case she can be very loquacious, particularly when it comes to the fighting---and I recently discovered she drops the f-bomb a lot when she's annoyed.
Mafalda has absolutely no affiliation of loyalties except to Mafalda, and to a certain extent the ministry. She finds the mockery of others to be absolutely hilarious, eats chocolate syrup out of the bottle when she's unhappy, reads trashy romance novels, and is always shocked when people aren't shocked that she bakes. Also, if your tie, necklace, what-have-you is crooked she will fix it. You cannot stop her. It is inevitable. And do not eat crab in front of her, because she will cut you and not bother to explain why.
sooooooo, i am hoing her out and she is all yours for any of your plotty wants or needs.