Who: Sidney Prescott hellosidney & Rick Grimes rick When: April 28th, evening. Where: Sidney’s Apartment What: Sidney’s made food and invites Rick and Judith over for dinner. Rating: Low Warnings: Language, thoughts of death/murder, a little angst, and normal life. Status: Closed/Completed GDoc
Cooking had always been relaxing for Sidney, although she didn’t do nearly enough of it. Back home after the release of her book she’d been on tour, so eating out had become the norm in her life. Here? Here it was easier for her to cook since she had most of her evenings free.
Sidney wasn’t complaining about that either. She rather enjoyed her peace and quiet, and it felt nice to not look over her shoulder constantly. Not that she didn’t do it on occasion, she was, after all, still paranoid about everything and everyone but she found herself looking less and less.
Cravings came and went, it was the body’s sign that it needed something and well, Sidney had been craving lasagna for longer than she’d care to admit. The issue was that she couldn’t make it without making too much for herself, and the store bought stuff was a thing of nightmares. So instead she made a large pan, with garlic breadsticks and opted to invite Rick and Judith over to help her.
The counter held the food, since her table was so small, and Sidney had even taken time to set the table. It felt weird, having actual guests come over instead of just cooking for herself and calling it done. The knock on her door, made her pause for a brief moment, shoulders up and tense.
It’s okay, it’s just Rick. She reminded herself, shoulders relaxing a degree as she made her way over to the door. Despite her own mental pep-talk she still looked through the peephole and then pulled the door open with a wide smile. “Hey, come in and make yourselves at home.” She couldn’t help but to reach out with one hand to lightly tickle Judith’s side before stepping back.
“Everything is in the kitchen. I just didn’t know what you might want to drink. So do either of you have a preference?”
~*~
Going visiting was something Rick hadn't done in---he couldn't recall how long. He knew it'd been long enough to where he recalled Lori harping on him not to forget her bowl and her spatula on the way back. They had worried about such normal things then; everyone had so it wasn't as if they were strange, but thinking on it now was something to keep Rick off-balance.
He had packed up Judith against him with a half of a blanket. They sold things, carriers, for babies in town. Rick simply hadn't been willing to risk the time to go looking for them as of yet seeing as he still had issues leaving her at the daycare center to work. Too much time on edge had eaten away at his ability to cope with things. No one could fault him for it, he figured, though he did wish he could offer a better father to his daughter.
Judith didn't laugh at the tickle though she did kick her feet and grin. She'd learned to be silent. What parent wanted to train their baby not to giggle at a tickle? Rick smiled awkwardly at Sidney while he tried to push the maudlin thoughts away.
"I'm fine with whatever you have to hand. Judith does best with water. We don't have access to a lot of anything else so her digestion isn't what it should be for her age. She gets to eat. Don't get me wrong. We just don't have juice or formula or milk to offer her often enough to get her used to them."
She had terrible bouts of vomiting and diarrhea from most anything liquid other than water or the makeshift formula Carol had concocted for her out of oatmeal crushed too fine to be a solid any longer and water. They couldn't give her milk as it wasn't around to be given. Cream was something they came across a few times in pantries of the dead. They'd found evaporated milk on a few occasions.
It was amazing what a person could get used to living without.
"Smells good in here. You expecting real company or is this all for us?"
~*~
“All for you two.” Sidney replied over her shoulder as she moved to grab two glasses and one smaller plastic cup from the cabinet for them. She turned the tap on, letting the water run real cold before she stuck the cup underneath the stream.
“Well, and myself.” She laughed, “I was craving lasagna really bad, and I heard once that if you’re craving something that it means your body needs something in it.” Sidney lifted a shoulder as she turned back around to sit the cup down on the table before pulling a jug of milk from the fridge. “I think you could use this, and eventually she’ll get used to eating and drinking things that she doesn’t get normally.”
Sidney had been through hell, but not the kind of hell that Rick and Judith had been. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how hard it must’ve been, how each day was a struggle to just simply survive without being eaten or starving to death. She couldn’t imagine how stressed that must have, and still might have made Rick feel.
“Just baby steps, if you think this will be too much? I can make her something plain.” Sidney’s kitchen was decently stocked. She only had to cook for herself, and well, she only ate two meals there unless she decided to let the girls run the bookstore and stay home. It would be easy enough to make toast or plain rice for the little one.
Pouring them both a glass of milk, Sidney placed the jug back into the fridge and then carried the glasses to the table. Taking a seat, she took in a deep breath. “So all of that aside, how are you two doing?”
~*~
"Nah, I wouldn't dare deprive her of the chance to try out some actual food for once. I figure she won't eat much anyway. Her stomach---we don't eat much."
They didn't eat much because there wasn't much to eat. No one stayed heavy in the end of days. Rick hadn't ever had to get too tough on people about rationing except where water was concerned. That was the one thing no one seemed to realize how much they used of until it was all gone and it was, unfortunately, also the only thing they couldn't live without for any real period of time.
Took a long time to starve to death. Dehydration? That was a different story. Three days at best in the sun.
Rick offered the small cup to Judith who tried her best to wrap both hands around it. She sipped at it, water spilling down both sides of her mouth to wet her jumper. It made him laugh as he took the cup away from her in spite of her protests. Rearranging her slightly, he set her up at the table in the chair beside him. Judith couldn't see over the top real well, but she made do by resting her chin on the edge.
"She's happy enough, see?"
He took the plate in front of Judith to put one very small scoop of the lasagna onto it for her. Rick took his time deconstructing it into the smallest pieces he could manage with the spoon. It wasn't too often Judith choked on anything. She'd gotten some teeth in and she was fond of gumming on her food for a while before swallowing. Carol told him that was normal. Michonne had nodded in a way which said she agreed and Rick had been satisfied enough.
Offering the spoon to Judith, he put a more than healthy portion onto his own plate, looking up, "We don't eat much when we don't have it. Since it's here? I see no reason for you to have to eat leftovers for days. Who knows? Might be something in here my body's needing too."
~*~
Sidney frowned, that was awful, but at least here they would have enough food to where they wouldn’t have to worry about it. Sidney would do whatever she could to help in that area. Sidney sat down in her own chair, picking up a breadstick while Rick dished out food for Judith and himself.
“She does seem happy.” She smiled over at the little one with her chin propped up on the edge of the table, “I’ll get a booster seat to keep here in the event I cook too much food and need help eating it.” She flashed Rick a smile and then dished herself some food as well.
“Good, I don’t really like keeping leftovers all that much.” The truth was there was rarely a time when Sidney had to deal with leftovers, but that was neither here nor there. “And I think you both could probably use a little something in here. If nothing else it’s a hot meal that’s hopefully good.” It’d been awhile since she’d cooked lasagna, but she was sure that it would be fine.
Sidney lifted a shoulder and began eating. Now that did hit the spot even if she had made it herself. She ate about half of her plate before she finally slowed down enough to take a drink of her milk and speak, “How’s she liking the books and bear?” She asked, glancing over at Rick with a soft smile.
“I can always pick up a few more books if you want them. I get a great discount.” Sidney let out a soft laugh, it was true though, the instructions that had been left for her as the manager had detailed everything out to the letter. Sidney had done her best to follow them, though she was still wondering where exactly shipments came from, but she was grateful for new stock whenever she put in an order.
That in and of itself was strange, but it was outlined in her duties as a manager so Sidney assumed that if she didn’t do it they wouldn’t receive anything.
“We got in a few new children’s books the other day, so if you want to stop by one day when I’m there I can use my discount for anything you want.” Sidney glanced over at Rick, “The offer is there any time. How are things at the greenhouse?”
~*~
Eating around a table was another novel experience for Rick. He'd taken to it as if he'd never stopped doing it. The instinct to hold down Judith's spoon when she was filling her mouth too full kicked in right on cue; he was able to keep eating with his other hand as if they did this every day. She fussed only long enough to reach for the water cup which he gave back to her.
Judith settled back with the water after eating as much as she likely could. It was more than she'd been offered on many of an occasion. Rick didn't think it was any discounting the quality of the meal for her not to finish her plate. He didn't have the same issues with his own. He'd barely taken a breath between bites in order to finish it up. The urge to eat fast before something came upon them was too hard to shake to get him to slow down.
Hand shaking slightly around the grip of his fork, Rick swallowed hard, clearing his throat, "Sorry. Been awhile since I had real food. This is great. Best I've ever had and I do mean that. As for the greenhouse, I've got one worker girl who's a real gem. I worry she ain't got much other than the work since she's willing to take any shift I'll give her without a question in her head, but she's sturdy. Dependable. I like that. I got some men who're real honest. They're local. Something a little off about them, but who wouldn't be a little off if this was their hometown?"
He shrugged. It made no nevermind to him where they came from or how they were as long as they kept their jobs done up. Rick had learned to let most things slide. The world was what it was and a man was lucky if he had anyone offering up any kind of help at all. Best course of action was to accept help when it was offered without letting his guard down or asking too many questions.
Talking about jobs around the table was enough to have him laughing as he eyed the pasta dish.
"I got a job. You got a job. My daughter loves being read her storybooks at night. She's gotten to saying 'Book' as often as she can. The bear I can rarely get away from her. She's never had a new toy of her own for real before. I think I'll be reading myself hoarse if you let me get away with too many more. It could be good for her though. Getting to pick one out for herself at the store. Seeing---normal people."
Rick shook his head. He didn't know what to make of it. Any of it. This place felt too good to be true, really.
~*~
Sidney smiled, “That’s okay. Eat what you want, however much you want.” She motioned to the pan with her fork, and a shrug of her shoulders. It pleased her to know that it was the best he’d ever had, and she didn’t believe that he was lying to her either about it.
A line appeared between her brows as she took several more bites. Sidney chewed thoughtfully, then lifted a shoulder after she swallowed. “It could be she just enjoys working or she might be trying to distract herself from something.” Sidney knew all too well how it was to work to distract oneself. She’d done it, she’d isolated herself away from people in order to try and keep herself safe. In the end though it hadn’t worked, she’d been tracked down and thought that she was going crazy.
She thought on his words about the people from the city. They were a little odd, they wouldn’t really talk that much about how long they’d been here or much about the history of the city either. Sidney kept her comments to herself about all of that for the time being. There would be plenty of time to discuss that at some point.
Her smile only widened at the news that she loved the books and the bear. Sidney hadn’t had any particular reason for buying them other than she’d wanted to. To her it’d been a shame that Judith had grown up the way she had so far, and since they were here in this place where things were safe she didn’t see why she shouldn’t have some sense of normalcy.
“Both of the girls that work with me are really nice.” One seemed more down than the other, but Sidney knew Davina was dealing with a lot of things right now. “So I’m sure they’d be pleased to see you both around.” Placing her fork down on her plate, Sidney picked up her glass to wash the remainder of her food down. “If you need help with story time or fear you’re going hoarse, you just let me know and I can come help. It’s not like I have a booming social life you know?” She laughed softly with a shake of her head because it was true. Trust wasn’t something that Sidney gave out easily, but in her short time here she felt as if she could trust Rick.
He didn’t seem to be the kind of guy that would pull a knife on her just because he got bored one day.
“Just keep the offer in mind alright?” Pushing herself back from the table, Sidney took her plate over to the sink before getting a fresh washcloth to wet it. Wringing it out, she walked back over to where Judith sat before kneeling. “Here, let’s get you cleaned up while your daddy enjoys another plate.” She shot Rick a teasing smile before she began cleaning Judith up.
~*~
Rick chuckled at Sidney. He hardly had a booming social life himself. He did take the time to dish himself up another healthy portion of the lasagna, pushing away the worry he was eating too much as there was no need for it. People weren't going to go hungry here if he had more than one helping. They had food. Plenty of food. There were functional grocery stores, regular jobs around, and no one was starving.
He tried not to look as Sidney wiped Judith off. It was painful to see another woman caring for his child. Lori had been a good mother. She'd been a woman with her faults; Rick had been a husband with faults of his own. Neither of them had been close to perfect people, but they had genuinely tried for their son. Lori hadn't even been given the chance to try for Judith, yet she'd given her life for the girl all the same.
Some men wouldn't have been able to love the baby the way Rick did. He couldn't be certain she was his. He was a widower as a result of her birth. She'd essentially destroyed his little family in the midst of the end of the world, but it wasn't her fault. Judith hadn't asked to be born. She was too much like her mother for him to blame her. There were times when he wished he could look at her without wondering all the same.
"I wouldn't mind having you take over some night if you're free," he muttered, finishing up his plate, "I love my daughter. I love being her father. I love being able to do these things. Normal things. I just sometimes get a little too much in my own head if that makes any sense to you. I think on my wife, my boy back home, how much we've lost. It gets to be an ache. She's better off if I can take her somewhere else while I walk it off. Do you know what I mean? Is that selfish?"
He honestly couldn't tell any longer. His perspective on life was too skewed to allow him to look at the world objectively. Rick had been surviving too long to really remember how to simply live.
~*~
Sidney’s brows drew together as she finished cleaning Judith off. Balling the washcloth up, she sat it on the table and looked over at Rick. Her heart really did break for him. Here he was doing everything that he could, carrying around too many burdens without anyone else to help him shoulder the responsibility now that he was here.
She hated that his son hadn’t shown up, she knew that had to be hard on him. Standing, Sidney offered Judith her cup back before picking the washcloth up again along with her plate. “I don’t think you’re being selfish. Everyone deserves a little time for themselves, time to breathe and let themselves be lost in their own thoughts for a little while.” Sidney placed everything in the sink, rinsing off the plates with some water before turning around to lean back against the counter.
“Selfish is when you lock yourself away from the world and refuse to talk to a lot of people and most of those that you do talk to? Don’t even know your real name. Believe me, I’ve been there done that. It didn’t stop the past from coming back to kick me in the ass.” Roman had been a real piece of work. Her half-brother hell-bent on revenge against their mother when all he’d have had to do was come to her and talk. Maureen might’ve not wanted to acknowledge his existence, but Sidney would have.
Her mother, God, she’d loved her but she’d hid so many secrets that had gotten so many people killed.
“I’m free every night. The store closes early enough to where I’m home at a decent hour so my nights are always open. Anytime you want or need a break? Just let me know. I’m more than happy to help, and I promise you, she’ll be safe.” Sidney couldn’t promise people a lot of things, and she’d been called the Angel of Death but she did know a thing or two about survival.
Sidney would gladly lay down her life for Judith, just as she would have any of her friends - either back home or here - because she cared them. Sidney didn’t want to see any more people die, either because of her or for any other reason really.
She’d seen enough death to last her several lifetimes over.
Pushing herself off the counter, she went back to the fridge to grab the gallon of milk to top Rick’s glass off.
“Don’t let yourself burn out too much, Rick. People, regardless of how much they’ve been through, can only be put through so much before it starts getting to them.” She offered him a soft smile before she moved to put the milk back, “Alright, so it’s still early, what do you say you two pick out a movie or something to watch and we’ll all take a night off to relax a little bit.”
~*~
Surreal or not, Rick would take the life Test City was offering him for as long as he could. He would love his daughter. He would work his mundane job at the greenhouse. He'd manage the place as if it were his own. Rick would do everything he could to fully embrace this chance for normalcy. It could be the product of an insane mind or a dream. It felt real enough to him. Rick would take it.
He watched Sidney with Judith without comment, enjoying his food. He smiled in gratitude as she topped off his glass. They were making it. The two of them were survivors of different worlds. They'd lived through far different situations, but they'd both made it against the odds. People who hadn't been through the things they had couldn't understand. No one could understand how it felt to be ever-ready for something until they'd had to be at the ready or their lives were forfeit.
Sidney promised him to keep his daughter safe with the kind of conviction Rick knew was heartfelt. She would kill for his girl. It was written all over her face and her words set it in stone. Sidney Prescott might have never killed walkers, but she had taken lives. Rick could tell. She'd made the choice between living or dying. She'd made the choice between letting someone else live or dying for not taking their life.
He felt lucky to have met her.
"I appreciate you in a way I can't express, Sidney. You---I am not a man who has the words to say what I need to all the time. I am grateful for your understanding. I'm grateful for the fact you've survived long enough to make it here. I give you my word, I'll protect you here. You look out for me and my girl? I'll look out for you. My people are my life. I consider you one of my people now."
Rick tried to remember the last time he'd seen a movie. He couldn't. It had to have been years. He'd come home from working as a deputy sheriff to fight with Lori. Mostly he'd kept to himself to read the paper. She and Carl had enjoyed the television. They hadn't ever been to the movies together he could recall. It wasn't something which had been high on their priority list as a family.
He wished he had those memories now.
"I tell you what. You pick out a movie and we'll settle down on the couch and pretend this is any other day for us. We'll play normal. Let ourselves enjoy it. I think we both deserve the break. I think this place? It can be good for us. If we let it."
Rick thought he'd let it for a while. He owed it to Judith. He owed it to Lori and Carl. He owed it to himself. He owed it to all of them and that was all there was to it.