Now that Ben is a little more settled, Eliot decides to warn him about the whole alternate universe relationships thing. Ben takes the news surprisingly well, and they come out of the conversation as friends, maybe? It wasn't even
awkward.
⚠Nada.
It occurred to Ben that Silver might be right.
His existence in this place was an opportunity to be something different, to start over fresh, with no one here knowing about his past. Yes, he had been Kylo Ren at home, but no one here knew that except Rey -- and he didn't believe she was going to talk about that much with anyone. So long as it was just Rey, then Ben had the opportunity to remake who he was in a way that he would never have anticipated having.
He suspected, perhaps for a few weeks now, that he might not have the opportunity to do so at home - in any way and while he'd been hesitant to ask Rey about this directly, he knew that things hadn't been great, exactly.
Admittedly, remaking himself felt a little overwhelming most days, and he didn't feel as if he'd done a very good job at starting to do yet, and with every passing week, didn't that become a little more difficult? When they'd arrived in Hoth, he'd been thrown into a different world in his own galaxy, and for an instant he'd known what to do with scavenging and searching. Then there had been the other Delerth, the one with the version of him that he'd only recently 'buried' so to speak, and then he'd woke up with horns, and he'd ended up hiding most of the week.
It was yet early in this week where there didn't seem to be anything immediate, and so Ben had taken himself to the kitchens to make food, and was now making his way across the grounds towards the clearing with a cup of coffee in his hand. As he did so he caught sight of a figure - familiar, but it wasn't Rey's former roommate. He could tell the difference between the two, even though they did look similar. He'd talked to Eliot a bit on the network and he seemed nice enough. Instinct was to be hesitant about speaking, but - new, remaking who he was. Ben took a breath and raised his hand in a friendly, if slightly awkward wave and a smile that was more uncertain than he wanted it to be.
Eliot saw Ben’s wave and his expression brightened. Rather than go along his merry way, it seemed Ben had attracted his attention and now Eliot was making a beeline for the other. Once the distance was closed, his expression turned mildly sympathetic and he clasped a hand on Ben’s shoulder with a reassuring squeeze.
“So, former Space Husband, we should talk.”
Eliot had brought it up during their very first interaction on the network, but when this turned out to be a different Ben Solo, it was quickly dropped. It was too much to put on someone on their first day. Ben didn’t speak much over the network, and Eliot had spoken to him on at least one other occasion. Now that he’d been with them for weeks and at least mildly more prepared for what might come, it seemed only fair to give Ben a heads up.
“...You are not the first Ben Solo I’ve met. And, given two weeks ago, I’m assuming you’re not the only Ben Solo you’ve met. And, as you might imagine, traveling a multiverse with infinite possibilities can start to make things complicated.”
Eliot gave Ben’s shoulder a pat and then invited the other man to walk with him.
“The first Ben Solo I met--” Eliot could swear his name was Ren, but perhaps that was just a multiversal quirk. “--and it could be very possible that in the course of our travels that people will come from alternate timelines where they’ve also known another version of you. In this case, the Ben I met was from another reality where he knew another version of me.”
Eliot was going to let these points sink in slowly.
“You have the burden of being the tall, dark and handsome variety, and speaking from experience, it can be awkward to run into exes, spouses, former lovers from other timelines. I’ve run into five now, including this other version of you. Since-- minus an extremely questionable decision here or there-- I pride myself on having excellent taste and you seem like a decent person, I thought it was best to warn you.”
Eliot stopped, and made eye contact with Ben.
“That wasn’t me and that wasn’t you. Those were two different people, under different circumstances. I want to be crystal clear that I expect nothing from you. I’ve also gotten the impression you’re … reserved. Should you ever run into a similar situation and need someone to talk to, I’m here. I’ve been there. Mistakes have been made.”
Eliot shrugged and smiled a little self-consciously. That went well, right?
Ben hadn't forgotten the term, 'Space Husband', dropped on his first interaction on the network, but when he'd questioned, Eliot hadn't been exactly forthcoming, and Ben had left it alone in favor of helping Rey gather supplies and trying to figure out exactly what the life here was going to look like. However, that all came back, curiosity prompting him to take Eliot's invitation to walk.
Perhaps the last few weeks should have prepared him for what was to come, but it really hadn't. As Eliot continued, Ben found himself stunned into silence.
He and Eliot - well, but not this version of Eliot - had been lovers in a different timeline?
It wasn't perhaps that surprising. The fact that Ben hadn't once since he'd arrived at Delerth even began to consider romance or relationship of any variety, didn't mean that another version of him in another world might not have. Insofar as Ben might have a type, Eliot's looks certainly qualified him. And he seemed… decent. Which was perhaps the most surprising thing of all. Or maybe not. It did hint at possibilities that there were versions of Ben that - unlike the one he had recently had to contend with that had just felt like a bad dream from home - could attract someone decent.
But Eliot had stopped talking, and truthfully, Ben couldn't remember a time he'd felt this awkward - recently (admittedly that might have been at least partially because he'd hidden uncertainty under commands and anger which wasn't really a good thing). He moistened his lips.
"When you say husband. We were married?" He tilted his head over at Eliot, mostly curious as much as anything. "I mean, you know not … us - the one you met. He was married to you?"
“They were married, yes. Also to Fen.” Eliot did not mention any other details of that family. Two spouses were likely enough. “But in my experience, if you do come across someone who loved another version of you in another world or timeline, it’s not the sort of thing that just repeats itself. So…”
Eliot sighed, and pushed the thought of Ravi away, “I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s awkward. No one is going to expect you to act on that knowledge.”
Did he have any other questions on the topic? Eliot hoped not. So he changed the subject.
“I haven’t seen you post on the network much. Have you been adjusting okay? I mean, as much as one can adjust to weekly doses of random fuckery…”
There was a moment where Ben tried to picture any world where he'd managed to find not just one, but two people who were interested in marrying him. He remembered Fen. She was here too, if he recalled, but also…
He gave a nervous laugh. "I wouldn't actually inflict myself on anyone here, so no… um…" he didn't really know what to say to that, so he shook his head. "I guess it's just strange to think about … having that with anyone. Thank you for telling me though?"
It didn't feel as if that was outside the realm of possibility that it might come up again, and at least he wouldn't be caught completely wrong-footed if it did.
Ben stuffed his hands into his pockets. The clothing he'd picked up the previous week wasn't a perfect fit - he'd had to guess - but it was better than what he'd had before, and he shook off thoughts of a version of himself that was that together. There was no point in being jealous of yourself, was there? And he wasn't even certain it was jealousy. He didn't even know if that was something he wanted, but maybe he was jealous of any certainty around the matter, which he supposed his other self must have had. Any certainty he'd had seemed to have evaporated away with the adrenaline of knowing that Rey would need his help. That had required certainty and he'd jumped in, followed her in, and not thought about what came after. Of course he would have never dreamed this being the after, but even at home he suspected it might not be much different. Ben Solo felt so long ago, and with the quiet to think, Ben was realizing he didn't even know if he knew who Ben Solo was.
"I'm adjusting." A beat. "It's not so much here, as it is… me. Not that here exactly helps, but." He shrugged, and glanced over. "What do you do? Usually? I mean, I know that maybe there isn't a 'usual', but what do you do?"
Eliot considered his question with a sigh.
“I formed a welcoming committee? It lasted all of two months before nearly everyone else on it disappeared. But, I created the letter which flies to each new arrival here to try and cut down on some of the confusion that happens when you end up in a void or a new planet you weren’t expecting…”
His brows made a sort of shrugging expression for him.
“Sometimes I have the energy to answer questions of the new arrivals. Sometimes I hope that someone else does. Usually someone else does. When we end up on a world with decent supplies, I try to pick up as much as I can; alcohol, clothing, whatever… Just to make things easier for the next people that show up.” He paused and added, “Not weapons. Which, maybe I should reconsider given how dangerous things can get, but I also really don’t want to add any fuel to the fire in case some of us ever turn on one another. So… I leave that to individual choice.”
There was a sing-song tone to the way Eliot spoke, pretending to be indifference while doing a poor job of masking an undercurrent of concern.
Ben nodded. "It was helpful - sort of. I mean, as helpful as I suppose it can be when everything is completely not what you were expecting. It didn't help that I nearly froze to death in the first ten minutes upon arrival, though." Thankfully Rey had come after him. It had turned out, and now he was just stuck trying to spend a few hours at the beginning of every week regaining his strength for the week. It was maybe better than whatever the alternative would have been at home. He suspected - strongly - that it was better than the alternative at home.
"It's good to have that though. Clothes, and alcohol, and that sort of thing. For those weeks where there isn't much. You're a merchant, I suppose without the shop on this end." He could understand the weapon thing though. He'd picked up a couple of blasters from the base, and a limited amount of power packs that he could use. And then he still had the daggers from last week. He was missing his lightsaber, but he could make other things work in a pinch. But he could understand maybe not making them available to everyone here, not knowing exactly what everyone's histories and abilities with a weapon might be.
"Do you pick up weapons for you," Ben asked, glancing across trying to figure out exactly the source of the concern that he was pretty certain was there. It felt as if the answer to that was yes, then it suggested that there was potentially a need for it. "I mean, your individual choice?"
“The ice planet,” Eliot groaned as if just remembering it. “Not the worst place we’ve been to, but certainly not one of my favorites.”
Eliot was listening. He watched Ben carefully, and even looked considerate as he spoke. Internally, his intentions were less pure. Ben was the kind of attractive Eliot could be into. He also knew, just as he’d advised Ben, as he’d learned from past experience with Ravi, that the chances of it working were slim to none.
So maybe he was jealous of these versions of himself from other worlds. It all seemed terribly unfair. Why was he the Eliot that was destined to be alone?
(Minus the people he pushed away. That was for their own good, really.)
“Oh, I’m much more the running away sort,” Eliot said apologetically. It wasn’t as if Eliot was completely incapable of battle magic, it was more like being successful never felt worth the price. He remembered Mike and then pushed the thought away.
“I’m a magician. We mostly cheat our way through life, no matter what any other magician tells you. Sort of comes with the ability to bend the laws of reality and physics.”
Ben laughed, a brief amused huff of air. "Hoth was hardly the best that my galaxy has to offer, so I'm very sorry it was your lone experience with it. We could have had Chandrila - that's where I grew up - and it's far more habitable I promise. Or if you prefer cities, Coruscant maybe, especially if you've got the money for the upper city. Coruscant has its moments, Naboo is one of the romantic capitals of the galaxy, gorgeous lakes, and perfect sunsets - or so I've been told anyway. I've not had many romantic excursions to speak from experience, but I've seen the holos so I'd buy it."
There was confidence that floated easily to the surface when he spoke speaking of something he knew, even if it had been years since he'd been to many of the cities and his memories pulled from being a very small boy traveling with his parents: before he'd been tucked away to the destined Jedi life: before he'd run into the duty of the First Order's life. But the memories had been mostly good ones, for all there were broken shards if you went digging too much.
But he didn't. He wouldn't.
Let the good memories glitter on the surface, rather than risk being pulled under by whatever could be roused beneath. He wasn't in the mood today.
"I'm prone to rushing in, even if it's stupid and I shouldn't," Ben scoffed. "But I don't have my lightsaber, so I'm trying to be a bit more circumspect."
Cheat our way through life provided Eliot with a raised eyebrow followed by a grin. "My Uncle would thoroughly disapprove of such shenanigans." Ben released his hold on the cup of coffee - with his hand, anyway - and allowed it to float in mid-air, and on a whim, he sent it towards Eliot. "Which means I like you."
Eliot’s expression softened while he listened to Ben talk about other worlds. There was a part of him that ached, just slightly. Not for the planets he didn’t see, but for the side of Ben he knew wasn’t really for him.
Like with Quentin’s visit, and Ravi’s before that, Eliot drew in a breath to guard himself against any foolish notions of a romantic rekindling. (Could it be really “re” if it never really happened to them in the first place?)
Some people had made this broken weekly cycle work for them. But most just set themselves up for hurt with the disappearances and reappearances. Eliot was Team Later, whether he wanted to be or not.
--so I'm trying to be a bit more circumspect.
“Probably wise,” Eliot said, with a mix of sympathy and amusement on his face.
He reminded himself not to rush in when Ben mentioned he liked him, and anyways, Ben hadn’t meant it like that.
“Uncles. So overrated.” Eliot smiled airly and tried not to think about how long until his new friend disappeared. They almost always did.