'Twas the night before full moon and throughout the campus Problems were brewing, but at least there’s no Krampus? Christmas lights were hung on the buildings with care, In hopes that next semester would still be fucking there; The vampires had woken all snug from their hiding, With visions of human hosts for delicious imbibing; The hunters in flannel and lame trucker caps, Each tried to hunker down for an uneasy nap; When out on The Green there arose such a clatter, Who sprang into action to see what’s the matter?