Jo Harvelle (knivesandreo) wrote in noescapeisland, @ 2008-08-10 14:31:00 |
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Entry tags: | jo harvelle |
Who: Jo Harvelle, Open
When: Around 2 am-ish
Where: The bar
Rating: Nothing too bad
In hindsight dying had been the easy part. She would take dying a million times over being torn from the place she had been before to find herself back in a body that no longer felt framiliar in a room that wasn't hers on an island where everything felt cold, hard and wrong. She knew she wasn't alone in saying she didn't like it here, but there was a deep hatred for this place already clinging to her. A resentment at it for taking her away from the before place. Jo didn't believe in heaven, not really, she'd seen too many things from hell to find it in herself to believe in a place the complete opposite. But wherever she had been tested that faith. Because while she might not be able to form the word in relation she was sure it was the closest she would ever be. She had been warm, safe. And more than that she could see to the end of it all and know, know in a way that had eluded her those sleepless nights on motel mattresses, that it was all going to be okay. She knew with certainty that they would win, that everyone would find themselves in the same place she was, she just had to wait.
But now she was on some island with people who had no idea how they got there. She was stuck again in the body of Jo Harvelle and it was hard to view that as herself once more. She had transcended that. She knew the way the jeans in the closet she found would fit but they felt weird and awkward. She knew that she once loved shreddies but when it came to eating them she found it impossible.
Sleep was beyond reach too it seemed. Everytime she closed her eyes she could see him, smell his breath against her again. She could feel the pressure of the knife press into her skin, she could feel the pain of her own death over and over. And when she woke up she was once again faced with the reality that she was on this stupid island. So was she glad to be alive? At the moment, not at all.
Maybe it would get better, she hoped it would. But for now it kind of sucked. And so Jo found herself doing what she usually did when things sucked. Finding comfort in old friends, namely Jim, Jack and Jose. Probably not the best of ideas, but there wasn't much else to do on an island in the middle of nowhere when one couldn't sleep.