Deadpool and OTA!
Deadpool stood at the sidelines while the team entered the building. Everything about the situation seemed soooo...unnatural. He was a killer through and through. That much was certain. But watching a mutant and human suicide squad go marching into a school, intent on killing every potential girls-gone-wild candidates in there was beyond the pale. How could he stand by and let this happen? Something deep in his blood pump was clenched tight as if he was experiencing that long forgotten feeling: Constipation Guilt. But that couldn't be the case, right? Guilt was not something he felt. Ever. In fact it had been years since he had experienced that particular emotion ever since he inadvertently caused the cancellation of the show Wings.
"Oh this is fucked. This is so fucked!" Deadpool provided color commentary as the group infiltrated the mansion. The mansion he had spent the last few weeks watching. The residents who he had viewed from afar. They all were in there. How could he let something bad happen to Skittles? Rerun? Little Oprah? Jazzy Jeff? And Erkel. He'd miss Erkel most of all.
"But you wouldn't have to if you stopped all of this!" Came Wade's voice from a very unusual outlet: His hand. His hand was speaking to him. As his thumb moved up and down in a pantomime of speech, it dawned on Wade how much he needed these people. Where would his life be if he lost the Pam/Jim relationship between Skittles and Little Oprah? Back in the monotonous routine of the worlds best merc is where. But maybe there was room enough in the crazy sitcom that was his life for both aspects? Protector and merc? "Of course there is!" Hand-gela piped up.
"Hey guys!" Deadpool called out to two mutants nearby. "You dropped these!" He stooped low and tossed two small objects to a fat pink man and someone he knew had the ability to cloud people's minds. Deadpool dashed passed those two leaving them staring at the objects he had thrown. As Deadpool moved passed, the grenades exploded in their hands, sending shrapnel everywhere.
The dual explosion heralded the arrival of the merc with a mouth as he burst through the first floor window. "DING DONG! AVON CALL-LING!" His hands removed weapons from his body and he proceeded forward with a large hunting knife in his left hand, a glock in his right. Wade moved amongst the soldiers like a red and black Tasmanian devil. "Hey! I know you guys! Call of Duty right? Heeeeee, I said duty!" The hunting knife left a deep gouge in one man's throat before thrusting itself into another man's torso. He squeezed off several rounds, dropping the group of men with ease. From there, Deadpool dashed up the stairs, his foot falls heavy on the wood floors.
Deadpool slammed the knife into the wall and his feet ran up the wall opposite. He pushed off from the wall and soared over the head of another soldier. The merc landed in a roll and came up on a knee and emptied the clip into that soldier's groin. "OOooooooooo! Head shot! That's what I'm talking about!" Wade scanned the hallways for any other enemies and when he couldn't find any, he climbed higher. He burst out onto the third floor and readied another clip. As he did so, he whistled the theme from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. "Not it on The Ugly!"