*flails kind of brokenly* Which is to say there's a depth of emotion going on inside me that ought to be intense and wild and vibrantly gesticulating at what you've written, but simultaneously it's all weighed down by the (sad (lonely)) drowningness of all the emotions that you plucked out so well and so subtly and so (borrowing Aldi's word) unsentimentally that it carries so much more of a realness to it than a rom-com fic ever could have. And so for all intents and purposes to an outside observer I'm sitting here zoning into space in front of my screen, but really I'm all torn up by the tensions inside. Which is like, fucking perfect considering that's the point, and the structure, and the lesson, and everything to do with, the fic you just wrote. The invisible tensions, the brackets that underpin lives, little invisible frailties that you can't possibly speak out loud but which go through your head endlessly. Ahhhh. AHHHHH. The fact that you captured this - it amazes me, and I love it. I absolutely adore this fic. I don't know how you did it. How could you possibly know to write a fic for me about a What If? This is how I think ALL THE TIME. And then you made it femslash, and you made it Vanessa and Nina, and you captured them perfectly, and you made it REAL. Mystery Author, you must be psychic as well as a fucking heartbreaking writer of amazing insight. (Excuse my language.) Can I keep you on my shoulder to keep a record of bracket thoughts? Because sometimes I think the world would be a better place if people actually spoke those aloud. And the fact that you brought them out into the open via this fic, it's genius. That's what I LOVE about writing - the possibility for describing things which by their very nature are unspeakable-about in real life, because it's their nature to be invisible. So this fic is all the more beautiful for being about invisible love. Thank you thank you thank you. It's the best present I could possibly have received. *hugs tightly, admiringly, lovingly*