InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Big brother didn't do it!"

Dora Ollivander (braveryshines) wrote in nexusthreads,
@ 2017-12-30 18:56:00

Entry tags:

~lisa cuddy

Who: Dora and Cuddy
What: Help
Where: The medical centre
When:Backdated to their texts

Dora had found even leaving her apartment hard. Even though the wizarding world barely recognised depression as a real condition, as it was considered a Muggle malady. However she knew she was falling deeper. She didn’t even want to see Archie, she didn’t feel like she deserved the attention of anyone, particularly not the love of her life. She’d wanted to die when she’d taken on the identity of Bellatrix LeStrange, and even now she was a little disappointed she’d made it through.

But she owed Archie to try. As she walked into the medical centre, downplaying every aspect of her quirkiness, in jeans and a plain white t shirt, with her hair dark blonde.

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proud_miserable
2017-12-30 08:28 pm UTC (link)

"Hi. Glad you're here." Cuddy gave Dora a welcoming smile. It made things easier when a patient recognized that they needed a little help. "Follow me. We'll have more privacy in my office." She had taken it over a while go and did think of it as her office now. It would provide them with a space where Dora would feel safe to talk about how she was feeling, and leave the main medical area free if someone needed it.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	braveryshines 2017-12-30 08:45 pm UTC (link)
	"At home they tell me I should be ashamed," Dora followed her and dropped into a chair. "I'm disappointed I didn't die," she said dully (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	proud_miserable 2018-01-02 11:41 pm UTC (link)
	"You should never be ashamed of looking for help. It's the brave thing to do." Cuddy assured her. There were the same stigmas around mental health in her day. Trying to get House to see a psychiatrist had been almost impossible until he began to hallucinate. She frowned. "Why disappointed?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	braveryshines 2018-01-03 07:29 pm UTC (link)
	"I wanted to be gone, but I thought a Death Eater ripping my throat out would work better for precious family honour than doing it myself," Dora admitted (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	proud_miserable 2018-01-03 10:06 pm UTC (link)
	"If you were gone, you would have missed out on everything you have here." Cuddy paused. "It's okay to put yourself ahead of your family." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	braveryshines 2018-01-03 10:08 pm UTC (link)
	"I don't have anything, not unless I'm here, and if we get back to our world properly, Professor Charles Taylor, will leave me," Dora muttered matter of factly, her hair shifting into darkness. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

proud_miserable
2018-01-04 11:28 pm UTC (link)

"You are here." Cuddy spoke gently, but firmly at the same time. "This is where your focus should be. Creating a new life here. For you. Not for anyone else. Yes, the fact is that you could be sent back or someone you know could be sent back." It was a reality she tried not to dwell on, that she could be separated from Giles or her children. "But you can't let it stop you from enjoying the life you have here."

"And if you do go back, you can take some part of this place with you. A new strength to know that you can make it through life's hardships. Losing someone is a fear people in any kind of relationship experience. It's a risk we all take when we have people in our lives, that they might leave us through their choice, or by circumstances beyond anyone's control." Cuddy paused. "Why don't you tell me more about Professor Charles Taylor?"

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

braveryshines
2018-01-06 04:15 pm UTC (link)

"Archie? He dislikes his first name, uses his middle name. I've known him, and had a massive crush on him, since I was fourteen at Hogwart's when he thought he was saving me from being bullied because he was older and one of the cool kids. We've known each other on and off since then. We get here, no other witches and suddenly he loves me. When...OK...It was a nice shock to see him, but I thought I'd been over him for a while. Turns out I wasn't." Dora smiled.

"And I was a spy, hardship's my gig."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

proud_miserable
2018-01-09 12:58 am UTC (link)

"That sounds good." Cuddy commented. It was almost the stuff of a great movie, childhood crush, a profession of love, being separated then reunited and it develops into the possibility of something more. "What makes you think he'd leave you if you were to return to your world?"

"You were a spy, a career that requires a great deal of dedication and commitment." Cuddy thought it would be like being a doctor in that respect. Before her children and Giles, her career was what she had. "That must have mattered to you."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	braveryshines 2018-01-09 09:10 pm UTC (link)
	"I'm the best he can do here. And he didn't fancy me as a kid," Dora replied. "It was everything. I left everything to become one of the most feared people in our world, to try and stop the resurgence of something terrifying...And only my cat noticed. Not the so called love of my life." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

proud_miserable
2018-01-10 12:16 am UTC (link)

"You're not the only woman here. He chose you over anyone else and over being alone here and now. He must have reasons." Cuddy said gently. "And you must have reasons for liking him too. Have you ever talked with him about it?"

"I would think that was part of being a spy, not being noticed." Cuddy had the opposite experience. As head of PPTH, almost everyone had known her. It was something she enjoyed; she couldn't fault Dora for wanting attention. "You can be noticed here. Spend time with people, get to them, and you'll meet people who want to get to know you too."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	braveryshines 2018-01-10 07:23 pm UTC (link)
	"He just tells me I'm wrong. And I'm a writer, when I'm not being a spy. I had someone ghost write my columns so no one noticed I was gone. No one did, so the girl was good," Dora gave a crooked smile. "I would like that." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

proud_miserable
2018-01-14 07:54 pm UTC (link)

"Communication is important in a relationship. The next time he tells you that you're wrong, express to him how that makes you feel. He might think telling you that you're wrong is a way of reassuring you that your worries are misplaced, when it may actually make you worry more." Cuddy suggested. She didn't have a psychological background, being an endocrinologist, but she did know a lack of communication had held her back with House and with Lucas. Good communication might be that difference that allowed things to work with Giles.

Cuddy nodded. "Good. I think everyone else will like it too."

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	braveryshines 2018-01-14 08:04 pm UTC (link)
	"Can I ask you though, the fairytale ending when the other person never seemed interested in a different environment, would you trust it?" Dora asked softly (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	proud_miserable 2018-01-17 03:55 am UTC (link)
	"I wouldn't trust in any fairytale ending." Cuddy answered. "Things will never be perfect and relationships take work." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	braveryshines 2018-01-18 08:09 pm UTC (link)
	"I just can't believe in it. That he'll stay and take all this, or that this can end," Dora replied. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	proud_miserable 2018-01-19 08:24 pm UTC (link)
	"Most of what happens in life doesn't have a guarantee." Cuddy said. "I can tell you that if you're willing to work on your own depression, things will start to feel better." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	braveryshines 2018-01-20 07:38 pm UTC (link)
	"That's why I came to you, at home they offer potions, short term fixes that don't properly fix anything and I want to be able to help myself instead of just doing one off short term repairs," Dora replied (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	proud_miserable 2018-01-21 02:07 am UTC (link)
	Cuddy smiled. "That's the best attitude to have and the fact that you reached out to me is a very good sign. I think we can help you feel better, simply by talking and getting you connected with more people here. There's also eating right, exercise, good sleep, and possibly medication down the line." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	braveryshines 2018-01-21 04:17 pm UTC (link)
	"We'll have to get the boy trained too, Archie's solution to so many things is bacon," Dora grinned. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	proud_miserable 2018-01-22 10:04 pm UTC (link)
	"Well, I've never tried it myself of course, but it's not the worse thing." Cuddy said. "Do you think he'd come with you to see me?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	braveryshines 2018-01-26 07:49 pm UTC (link)
	"I'm fairly sure he'd do anything he could to help me. I think he thinks he can fix me. It's a lot of pressure," Dora replied (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	proud_miserable 2018-01-26 08:37 pm UTC (link)
	"That's good that he wants to help. And he can help." Cuddy promised. "The most important person in making things change for the better is you. Which sounds like more pressure, but it doesn't have to be. We can break things down into small pieces, one small change at a time." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	braveryshines 2018-01-26 08:58 pm UTC (link)
	"I just want to be good enough, does that make sense? Good enough for him, and for myself," Dora replied (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	proud_miserable 2018-01-26 09:17 pm UTC (link)
	"You are good enough." Cuddy told her. "The first step is for you to see that." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	braveryshines 2018-01-26 09:22 pm UTC (link)
	"Other versions of me always were," Dora replied (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	proud_miserable 2018-01-26 09:25 pm UTC (link)
	"How do you mean?" Cuddy asked. "Literal other versions, like the Jakes, or something more personal?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	braveryshines 2018-01-26 09:28 pm UTC (link)
	Dora shut her eyes and allowed the Bellatrix LeStrange face she had inhabited for so long flow over her. "Like this," the lisping voice she had needed to take time to perfect left her lips. "She's crazy but I think she's beautiful in her way." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	proud_miserable 2018-01-27 05:40 pm UTC (link)
	Cuddy watched. Fortunately, after all her time of the island - very little surprised her. "Is that the identity you took on as a spy? Do you think of her as a separate person?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	braveryshines 2018-01-27 08:02 pm UTC (link)
	"She existed as her own person, she died, but many refused to believe it, so I took her identity and spied on her organisation. She was not a good person," Dora replied. "I like to think I am." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	proud_miserable 2018-01-28 07:08 pm UTC (link)
	"You are. Pretending to be someone else for your career doesn't change who you really are." Cuddy said. "We're not all spies, of course. But we all put on masks of our own sometimes. To be nice, to get ahead, or for other reasons. As long as you remember who you really are, that's the important thing." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	braveryshines 2018-01-28 07:11 pm UTC (link)
	"I am Eladora Ollivander...the First, good shapeshifter, bit of a weirdo, not so good at actual magic," Dora replied (Reply to this) (Parent)