Zoe (history_repeats) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2015-12-31 12:16:00 |
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Entry tags: | theseus, zoe hansen |
WHO: Zoe & Theseus
WHEN: October 27 [Backdated]
WHERE: Restaurant
WHAT: Daddy and Daughter have Dinner
WARNING: None
Note: The log reads backwards
It was a surprising move, but Theseus found warmth in it. Zoe was so much like her mother. She felt things so passionately and honestly. He rested his chin on her head, letting himself fall victim to her hug that could melt the iciest of hearts. He even squeezed her a little tighter.
On Thursday, November 26, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
There were tears swimming in her eyes as he said he wouldn't forget her... she didn't quite believe him. She felt very threatened by Nike and she didn't think Theseus thought she had any right to feel that way. No, she didn't call him father to his face but she didn't want to scare him away by saying it. He looked so petrified still at the thought of it. But when he called her his little girl, she just put her arms around his middle since they were sitting down and hugged him like a little kid would. She was an adult and they were still finding their footing but just because she pushed him away sometimes didn't mean she didn't need a father, didn't need him. It was sadly Theseus' job as the parent to keep trying. It wasn't fair.. but if the reward was love from his daughter, maybe he'd find the fight worth it.
On Thu, Nov 26, 2015 at 2:30 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"I'm not going to forget you." He still felt she saw him as a stranger. There was still a gap between them. "Maybe we both need to put one foot forward." He looked at her with confused eyes hoping she understood. "You won't even call me father to my face." They both were scared and he got that. "You are my little girl Zoe, that's not going to change."
On Thursday, November 26, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"Even if you don't get married... a relationship is a big thing. I know I don't have any right to feel the way that I do but I still feel it... You work so much and you spend time on your boat and you need space and I have work and... and.. other things going on too. But.. it just feels like when you do have time.. or will have time.. you'll spend it with her and it's gonna be more and more times you can't spend with me..." she didn't want her father to have another favorite girl.
On Thu, Nov 26, 2015 at 2:04 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"Zoe, I'm not planning on getting married again any time soon." Nike didn't seem the settling type. He was just riding the wave. He was having fun, not thinking about the responsibility of a full relationship. Just enjoying it for what it was.
On Thursday, November 26, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She looked to the side, her hands clutching themselves so tightly her knuckles were white. "You've been married a zillion times..." she said quietly. This wasn't like before with him running away or being scared. This was different. "You kinda get.. lost in the person you fall for." when Theseus fell, he fell HARD. His string of marriages and her own mother were examples of that. And it was fine, it was a great feeling to have the world fall away. But now he had a daughter who wanted him in her life, and she felt she'd fall away with the rest of the world the more involved with Nike he became.
On Thu, Nov 26, 2015 at 1:50 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"What are you worried about?" Hadn't he proven to her more than once that he was sticking around? He was there to have a relationship with her, to be a father. But all his efforts seemed to fall short. "You think I'm not going to stay?"
On Thursday, November 26, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe still twisted her fingers around each other and didn't look at him. But he didn't get it and he was confused and angry and kinda reminded her of Greed in that way. She finally said, "Me." in a small voice.
On Thu, Nov 26, 2015 at 10:34 AM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"Then what is it about if it's not about your mother?" Theseus didn't click yet on the fact that Zoe was in fear of losing him. He'd just barely scrapped the surface of having a child and being a part of her life that in some ways he was still keeping his distance. Or at least that's what Zoe saw.
On Wed, Nov 25, 2015 at 8:19 PM, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe kept looking at him and said quietly, "It's not about mom... or.. not just about her." in his entire frustrated speech, he'd never said he loved his daughter. That he'd want to catch up on the days he skipped out on her life. School plays, recitals, sports games, swim lessons, first day of college.. Theseus was failing to see that it wasn't just Zoe being upset about her mother being replaced, she was upset because she felt she herself was being replaced.
On Wed, Nov 25, 2015 at 5:16 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"I cant bring your mother back. I'd like nothing more to catch up on all the days I skipped out of. I loved your mother..." and his voice was strained because if it was Sophia here now, he wouldn't be with Nike. He'd enjoy some time that he just wasn't able to redo. And right now that happiness he had with Nike was crushed. Zoe managed to guilt trip him for being happy and excited about something he hadn't really had in a long time.
On Wednesday, November 25, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Her cheeks flushed because he had a point, she hid things from him too but she said, "This.. is... different. I don't want you to feel guilty but it obviously turned into more than one date and even if it hadn't.. it's.. it's..." she was struggling with the words and wrung her hands together as she finally blurted out, "...weird! To see you... flirting with some.. some.. woman." she looked at him and she was pretty distraught by it as she said heavily, "You're my father." didn't he get that? How strange and hurtful it was for her? To watch her father out of the blue being smarmy with some woman when Zoe never got to see him with her own mother? To see the man her mother told her so much about and loved so much try to romance someone else? He hadn't warned her or anything.
On Wed, Nov 25, 2015 at 4:16 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
When Theseus hit the hot button it was a lit match right in his face. She was very volatile and he really didn't know how to handle it. "Zoe, you don't feel the need to tell me everything." she kept him in the dark when she wanted to. He knew there was more going on than him having a girlfriend. "I didn't tell you about Nike right away because at that time it was one date. I didn't even know if it was something to think about. So, now you want me to feel guilty for that?"
On Wednesday, November 25, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She looked like she was going to explode and said in a rush of words, "Greed has nothing to do with this." yes she was on edge because of him and other things but this was between her and her father, "You're not my enemy but are you my father? Because you seem to be it whenever it suits you. I am trying to give you space and let you figure this out since you loathe kids and being a parent but this is difficult for ME. You married my mother, who lied to me my whole life, who waited for YOU her whole life, then you come back, and we barely start a relationship, after a million false starts and now you're gallivanting off with some random immortal you picked up and I know you're a big boy and you don't have to share these things with me but you didn't tell me. You didn't tell me about her and I don't know if it's because you thought I wasn't important enough to tell or because you didn't care enough to think of how it'd effect me." then she had to stop and take a breath.
On Wed, Nov 25, 2015 at 1:50 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
She was just poking the bear we each hit. "Zoe stop it." he wasn't experienced in how to handle her behavior. It was times like this he wished Sophia was here to guide. "You're putting words in my mouth. I'm not your enemy." he didn't know where her aggression was coming from. " I'm trying here and it feels like I'm always walking a tight rope. Is something going on with you and Greed?"
On Wednesday, November 25, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She could feel him getting frustrated with her and it made her prickle as well. She dropped her hand and looked at him, "What? What do you want me to say? If I say I'm not happy about it, you get defensive and oh but she's great and she's immortal and she makes you happy, and ugh I'm such a shitty kid that I can't be happy for you. If I say I AM happy, you don't believe me even tho it's what you want to hear and ugh I'm such a shitty kid. So guess what, maybe you just have a shitty kid the end."
On Wed, Nov 25, 2015 at 12:43 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"I don't remember happy looking so miserable. Zoe, please..." maybe gentle wasn't the direction to go. He was getting easily frustrated with her.
On Wednesday, November 25, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"Nothing.. I'm happy if you're happy." but she wasn't, it was miserable to think about. She put her cheek on her fist and her elbow on the table. She just couldn't say these things to him, she didn't know why. It was very difficult and it was making her sick. The more she stressed about it, the more her neck felt like it was on fire.
On Wed, Nov 25, 2015 at 12:33 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com>wrote:
" Then why do you look like a scolded child? what is wrong?" he was going to make her tell him, but he was trying to be gentle about it.
On Wednesday, November 25, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"I..." she didn't know how to tell her father she wasn't ready to see him with someone new. She was scared that he was going to spend more time with his new girl than his daughter. That she just wasn't ready to share him. He sounded so defensive.. she kept avoiding looking at him and said, "I don't know if anything is wrong with her, she's your choice."
On Wed, Nov 25, 2015 at 11:59 AM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"Dont sound so enthused." he realized maybe she wasn't ready for him to have a companion, but Theseus actual enjoyed the attention and an adult to talk to that didn't want to kill him. "Is something wrong with her?"
On Wednesday, November 25, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe didn't smile. She wanted to be happy for her father and his new lady but... she wasn't. She tried to smile but it just looked more like a wince. "That's..... great." she finished lamely, "An immortal." perfect, someone who wont die so he'd have a harder time forgetting. And maybe she felt like he never once had seemed that excited or happy about having a daughter. Tho Nike was probably giving him sex, and a child was a burden, not fun.
On Wed, Nov 25, 2015 at 6:31 AM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
He fell into her topic change at first. He was excited about his new lady. His smile spread ear to ear. "Yeah, shes the Greek goddess of victory. She busts my chops but I like her. " he was glowing like a little schoolboy.
On Wednesday, November 25, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe rubbed her lips and avoided his gaze as she looked at her plate, her neck felt on fire now but she didn't dare touch it. She hated the choker, she hated anything around her neck anymore since Lust but she tried to be calm and said, "I like to vary things.. so Nike is her name? Your new... lady... person... friend..?" trying delibrately to turn the conversation away from the choker.
On Tue, Nov 24, 2015 at 9:11 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
" She was quite a woman." Theseus rubbed his chin as he watched her wiggle out of the question. " Really? It doesn't seem your style." he felt she was hiding something from him. When Greed was her boyfriend, nothing would surprise him.
On Tuesday, November 24, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
"Mom was a great cook..." was all she said in reply to that in a wistful voice. She wasn't ready to meet Nike, not even close. But she was trying to accept that her father might leave her for his new fling. She stopped scratching and bowed her head when he mentioned the choker, hoping her long bob covered some of her neck as she said, "No, um... it completes the outfit."
On Tue, Nov 24, 2015 at 6:25 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
" I'm not sure Nike is the type to be won over by my cooking." he laughed because she could bust his chops just as easily as Sophia had. He wasn't sure how ready Zoe or Nike would be to meeting any time soon. he took a sip of wine and picked up on her noticeable scratching. "Maybe you should take the neck piece off if its bothering you."
On Tuesday, November 24, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She nodded and said, "Well maybe you'll get some practice cooking for your new friend..." she didn't mean it in a bad way, but she didn't expect him to stick around in her life much. He was already pretty busy as it was. She scratched at the side of her neck, the lace on the choker itched.
On Tue, Nov 24, 2015 at 6:01 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"I know a little. I could use some practice. " he was glad to see her interested in something. It seemed to boost her spirits. That was something Theseus had neglected in the past, bonding on a similar subject we his kids. He and Zoe were a lot more alike than either realized.
On Tuesday, November 24, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She smiled a little, please that her mother was still scolding her father in his dreams to spend more time with his daughter. She didn't say anything to the first part but said, "I'm terrible in the kitchen.. but I'm trying to learn. I'd love to make greek food but it didn't seem easy aside from salad. Are you.. any good at cooking..?"
On Tue, Nov 24, 2015 at 5:44 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Theseus chuckled, but let Zoe have some insight to the things he saw. "She tells me I need to spend more time with you, and then tries to remind me she has new Greek recipes I ought to try. " Sophia loved feeding him. There were times he actually joined her in the kitchen. Those days were so long ago now.
On Tuesday, November 24, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She looked up when he said recently, "What does she say in your dreams..?" it warmed her to know Theseus thought of Sophia still. She expected him to forget her. And then forget Zoe.
On Tue, Nov 24, 2015 at 5:27 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"Its not stupid. I've sen her in dreams before. A lot pretty recently actually." Sophia was as beautiful as ever and she knew how to scold him. It still wasn't the same and he couldn't turn back the clock. No meter how often he wanted to.
On Tuesday, November 24, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
She didn't correct him because he had failed Sophia... he'd forgotten her just like Greed would do to her one day. It was the price of loving an immortal, ones who got bored. "Sometimes I still do." she said without meaning to and then regretted saying it, keeping her eyes on the earrings and adding quietly, "I know its stupid but I feel like.. maybe if i keep talking and asking.. one day she might reply."
On Tue, Nov 24, 2015 at 5:07 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
"I know I failed her. " he rubbed the back of his neck as he stayed silent for a few moments. " I'm glad she had someone to share her thoughts with. sometimes I really wish I could still talk to her and ask her things. " it was always a struggle when time was lost and taken for granted. When all that was left was distant memories.
On Tuesday, November 24, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe looked stunned, she kinda forgot that she was the biggest reminder of her mom for Theseus. She nodded. "I have memories of her.. I mean.. she just died a few years ago.." she kept touching the earrings. "She thought a lot about you." she said softly. Sophia may not have been in Theseus head until recently but Zoe had gotten earfuls about him and how much his wife had loved him which is why it was harder to accept him with someone new.
On Tue, Nov 24, 2015 at 4:57 PM, Lauren Christensen <prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
" Zoe, I have all I want to keep of Sophia's right in front of me. She'd want you to have some memories of your own. I think she would want you to have them." he wasn't the complete heartless soul she thought he was sometimes.
On Tuesday, November 24, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe was surprised and hesitant to open the gift at first but she did and tears instantly filled her eyes at the beautiful pair of earrings, "They're gorgeous... thank you." she gently touched one of the earrings and said, "You don't want to keep them?" a frown on her face, worried that he might be trying to get rid of things of Sophia's.. want to forget her to make room for his.. new lady. "I mean.. you know, she did leave them there... maybe she wanted them there..." her gaze lowered again. Maybe it had been Sophia's way of giving him something to remember her by.
On Tue, Nov 24, 2015 at 4:12 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Theseus looked a little remorseful to her apology. He reached inside his coat and pulled out something small wrapped in tissue paper. He handed her the gift and explained that it belonged to her mother. "I gave these to Sopia when we were first married. She left them on the boat and I found them the other week. I thought you might want them." Zoe may have believed he had forgotten her mother, but he had not. Not by a long shot.
On Tuesday, November 24, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
Zoe looked at him in surprise and then her features softened and she said, "I don't not like you... I know.. I was.. rude.. earlier about the whole you having a... a.. lady friend thing. And I'm sorry..." she looked back at her plate.
On Tue, Nov 24, 2015 at 2:40 PM, Lauren Christensen<prettykozi@gmail.com> wrote:
Things had been strained with Theseus and Zoe. He was sensing that things were not ok with her and the new father in him wanted to get to the bottom of it. She had become his baby girl and she wasn't going to push him away that easy. She remains quiet during the appetizer, so when the waiter brought the wine, Theseus broke the ice. "I know you don't like me much right now, but I'm worried about you Zoe."
On Tuesday, November 24, 2015, Lucky L. <neverluckymore@gmail.com> wrote:
The weekend had been rocky for Zoe, she and Greed had sex, they made love, they fought, they cried, they made up... only they didn't. His guilt was eating him alive and he refused steadfastly to say the words 'im sorry' and it was making him feel worse and when he felt shitty, he took it out on her. She she'd avoided him for a few days and then her dad asked her to have dinner with him. She agreed but not excitedly.. more like a little kid nodding as if they were getting ready to receive a punishment. He took her to a seafood restaurant, since Greed didn't like seafood much, it was a chance for Zoe to eat some nice sea stuff. She wore a blue dress and a black lacy choker around her neck to hide the bruise on her neck. The last thing she needed was her father finding out what happened. Then again, after Greed not caring too much, she didn't know if her father would give two shits.