Zoe (history_repeats) wrote in nevermore_logs, @ 2013-06-23 12:06:00 |
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Entry tags: | theseus, zoe hansen |
WHO: Theseus and Zoe
WHEN: Sunday
WHERE: The beach
WHAT: Attempt at family bonding or at least non-shouty conversation
WARNING: Guilt, "yes he's a Sin but that doesn't mean he's a bad boyfriend.."
Zoe got out of the city to clear her head, it had been a few days since Greed had left to go to Lust's and she knew if she went to the beach, the waves might soothe some of the burn she felt in her heart. She wore a long flowing white skirt and a top she knew Greed would have loved, it showed off her shoulders and some of her midriff. She'd actually been wearing it when she'd run into Patience all those months ago. Her hair was pulled back on the sides and she walked barefoot along the shore, the hem of the skirt soaked by the water that grabbed at it as the wave rushed out towards her and unable to catch her in its grasp slowly went back to sea to gather strength and try again.
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Theseus liked to imagine he still had his own ship to run off with. It was the only girl he was good at keeping steady. She was the only one he wouldn’t ever leave. Now, here he was alone without his ship. The whole world felt unbalanced now. He sat near the water’s edge, a ways down from where Zoe had approached. He hadn’t even seen her there, he was focused on the horizon line and how great it looked. If he had some sticks and rope he was tempted to build a raft and go jumping on it without a second thought. Things right now were tangling into one hot mess. This was not how he’d planned on living, hell, he regretted the day he washed up on the New York City shoreline. It had pulled him there like a magnetic epicenter, but now that he was here he was miserable.
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Zoe spotted Theseus up ahead and stopped walking, turning around to head in the other direction but then paused again. It wasn’t long before her shadow was cast over the drawing he was poking in the sand. “Mr. Moreau..?” she asked hesitantly. Her hands were twisting behind her back and she looked almost like a child who wasn’t sure she was supposed to be talking to the adult. Her locket around her neck, the valuable bit hidden inside her shirt.
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He was turning the stick around in circles just as the sand turned a gray shade from overhead. He looked up over his shoulder more familiar with the face than the name. He’d had so many names over the years that Theseus couldn’t keep up with them all. The same went for most of the lives he left behind. There were just bits and pieces to the bigger puzzle. A puzzle he’d always be walking around in like a maze. He was the Greeks worst version of Alzheimer's.
“Thaddeus.” He said softly giving her half of a smile. He suddenly felt really sick to his stomach. It was quite possibly Poseidon and Lust trying to wear him down. He hadn’t spilled to Poseidon, but seeing Zoe there, he remembered he had to Lust.
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She tried to return his half smile but it was more like a quarter of one. It was difficult and strange to be this close to him. He was still the man that abandoned her mother as a baby, still the man that broke her grandmother’s heart. Still the man that denied her the only thing she’d ever wanted in this world, a family. But like her grandmother, it was hard for Zoe to give up on people. And Theseus had proven, in a small way, that maybe underneath all that roughness maybe there was some good. She still stood awkwardly, her hands still twisting behind her back and now her eyes lowering and going to the side as she turned her lips in.
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"Or you can just call me Theseus. Since that's my real name." He dropped the stick after while tossing it as far into the ocean as he could. At least it had the chance to sail free. He was stuck, and that was never a place Theseus liked to be.
He looked over his shoulder at the towering girl, up towards her face that was obstructed by the sun. "You can sit if you like, I don't bite, love."
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Zoe didn’t comment about his name, she felt better with Mr. Moreau. It was formal. Safer. There was a bit of distance with that name. And it made her feel comfortable since it was her grandmother’s last name. After all, she had been married to the man.
She didn’t know if she should sit or not.. but after a moment she moved forward and had a seat next to him but not very close to him, just near enough so they could still talk. She drew her knees up and didn’t know what to say, she didn’t even know why she was sitting here. “I’m sorry about your boat..” was all she managed to get out. Despite him losing it through his own stupidity and really it being the price to try to steal her most treasured possession.. she could tell that boat was his home. And it was always sad to lose one’s home. Even if one was a jerk.
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He grunted a little at that remark. Nothing could fill the void of that ship. That was his one ticket out of any mess he'd worked himself into. Now it was gone. There was no ball of yarn that was going to fall into his lap so he could skate off this island. He was in knee-deep now. There was a reason he'd not come back before, he should have listened to his better judgement.
"Your boyfriend's ruined it." Greeds had turned that ship into a monstrosity. Not a thing left on it was his own he was sure. The outside had been ruined, he could on speculate the interior.
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“Only a little. I don’t think he plans on keeping it. He’s not a fan of boats and he doesn’t like the water. He just wanted...” she trailed off, she doubted Theseus cared or wanted to know what Greed had been thinking. That her boyfriend had told her it would have been a nice place for just the two of them. She stared out at the water instead, not looking at her grandfather even once.
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"So its just disposable to him," he stated throwing up his hands in exasperation. That's just what he wanted to hear. Some teenager in disguise as a Sin mucking up his boat and then tossing it aside. Theseus should be used to that, he did it with people. His home however, that was all he had. "Lovely." He was sarcastic, perhaps a little bit bitter. There were a lot of disappointments hitting him these days.
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She glanced at him to see if he was joking or saying that ironically since Theseus was completely careless with people, her entire family in fact. But nope, he was just concerned about himself. “He might sell it so if you bided your time you might be able to get it back.” unlike other things that were disposable to him that he may never get back.
She missed Greed. She was homesick. And even if Theseus hadn’t said anything directly about the matter, she still felt judged by him.
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"How serious are you two?" He leaned back on his hands feeling the mist of the waves crash against the sand. He asked concerned because he had only speculated. If he was going to be stuck here, he was forced to deal with a granddaughter. That seemed to be the only woman that could semi-stand him even if she had some dislike. There were very few that didn't want to rip his head off. Peitho was another good one. Well, as good as a married goddess could be.
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She seemed taken aback by the question and didn’t answer for a few moments. When it looked like she might not answer at all, she finally said, “We’re... committed.” one arm wrapped around her knees and the other hand drew spirals in the sand. It was a difficult question to answer.. how was she supposed to say ‘well there is no one else for me in the world’ to someone she barely knew?
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"So its serious." That was a concept even Theseus didn't understand. He never kept a wife or the life it came with. There were at least three wives now that had no idea if he was coming back or not. He wasn't a guy that knew how to deal with responsibilities. He took a deep breath. "I gathered something from the way he dove into the water flailing like an idiot." He had no room to talk or judge considering he was tangled with Lust.
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She smiled a little when he mentioned Greed’s aquatic flails. “Yeah... it’s serious. We’re still finding our way, it wasn’t easy. Still... isn’t.” she frowned some because they had problems normal couples did and then some that no one did. “But he’s worth it.” she glanced at him, not wanting Theseus to think that she had her head turned around by a handsome bad boy, “He’s an amazing guy. He loves me and he’s very good to me.” well, for the most part. She knew she was sounding a bit like she was overcompensating but she just wanted to make sure her grandfather knew that Greed was more than what he seemed.
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"He's still something corrupt. Isn't that tiresome?" He genuinely seemed to be concerned if only because of the web he had gotten himself into. This wasn't a fluffy puppies and kittens world they were in. She was fragile in comparison.
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She sighed, “There’s more to him than that. He was created a Sin, it’s what he is but not who he is. We try to work with it. Around it. Like I said before.. he’s worth the effort.” she corrected herself, “We’re worth the effort.” because it wasn’t just hard for her, it was difficult for him too. But they fought to be an ‘us’, a ‘we’ and it was a hell of a effort for them both to be together.
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"Why? Why is he worth it?" He genuinely wanted to know because that was a concept Theseus didn't keep. He was a lot like Greed had been in that respect. It was endearing to see her passion for something. He a tiny bit guilty for having ousted them to Lust, but his neck had been on the line...literally.
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She frowned, it was an odd question. She never stopped to consider it like that, and she didn’t like him asking. It made it sound like Theseus didn’t think Greed was worthy. It would take forever to list out all the reasons so she went with the most important one, “Because I love him.” she didn’t even know if that would make sense to the other man or if it was the answer he was looking for.
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"Seems a bizarre concept for a Sin doesn't it?" It was a bizarre concept even for him. Theseus hadn't actually worn the badge of honor when it came to love. He never hung around long enough for him to explore it. He was always so focused on himself that no one really had any real spotlight outside of that. "Not that I would know...."
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She nodded, “It is. But a Sin is basically an immortal human with an extremely personality. They’re derived from humans, they’re capable of all the same things. Joy, sorrow.. love. It’s improbable. Difficult. But not impossible.”
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"Interesting way of putting it." He shrugged with a pouty lip in thought. "Hard to imagine they're all like that though. Seems a mess to tangle with them." He sighed, running a hand down his neck and into his shaggy dark hair. Then almost absently he added to the statement without thinking. "I know I'm in a mess." It was a comment made to himself, but she was close enough to hear it.
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“All Sins and Virtues aren’t bad or good in themselves. Too much of charity will leave you with nothing, too much of Gluttony will give you a bad stomach.” she shrugged and rested her head on her arms that were loosely on her knees, “When I first met him... god. He was... hot and cold. He could be downright cruel. But he was persistent. When I wanted to give up, he wouldn’t.” it was the opposite of Theseus who cut and run. Greed hounded Zoe and wouldn’t get out of her face but in the long run she was thankful for it.
“But isn’t love supposed to be messy?” she looked at him, those brown eyes peeking at him from behind her arm, “Didn’t you love her..?” her voice was very soft, like a child, a bit of doubt creeping in as one hand curled protectively around the locket. He had said he adored her grandmother, but he had loved her, right? The woman never loved again after him, she had thought they shared something so deep and profound. He had to have felt a little of it hadn’t he?
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He drew up his own knees, resting his arms across and looking out still at the calm moving ocean water. "I suppose so..." He didn't like feeling so tied to one thing. It meant his freedom was taken away. Now Lust and Poseidon both had him hanging in the balance. "Sometimes you have to give up..." He felt like he was too soon.
"Love is a hard thing to describe." He wasn't sure if he had even had it. He cared about certain people. Some were memorable, others were not. "I thought when I left her that that I'd have time to come back and see her again. But..." Maybe it was his own curse to be forever on the run, forever leaving people behind. He seemed unable to escape it. "I'm not a very good judge at time." He sniffed lightly quickly clearing his throat as if something in that faded memory bothered him. "I'm sorry about that." He genuinely meant it
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She looked away, disturbed. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t loved her grandmother even though she’d been convinced of it. Or maybe it was that he sounded like Greed who also wasn’t a very good judge of time and one of her deepest fears would be that she’d repeat her grandmother’s life. Waste away loving someone who forgot her because they didn’t know better. She only nodded, she didn’t have anything more to say. Family was a touchy subject. “I have to get going.. but thank you.”
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Theseus threw his head down with a groan. This was not a conversation he was good at. It wasn't that he didn't care at all, he just severed his ties pretty quickly so he didn't end up in the situation he was in now. "I'm a coward and she knew it."
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Zoe stood up and dusted her skirt off, the sand on her butt, “She did.” she gave him a tender smile tinged with sadness, “But she still loved you.” because that’s what love was, acceptance of who a person was, not what you wanted them to be. “That cafe where you guys met at?” her mother and her knew the story by heart. “She went back there all the time, hoping she’d run into you again.”
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"She did?" He sounded surprised to know she would bother going back to wait for him. Many may have, many had given up, and usually he didn't return unless something drew him back. His timeline was always his own. "She could have given up. Hating me would have been easier." He was quiet, but clearly knowing Sophia had been one of few to keep hope nestled somewhere inside him.
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She frowned, puzzled, “She could have but... she loved you. She waited till she died, she was so sure..” she trailed off, bitterness washing over her as she recalled memories that Theseus was not privy to. Memories of a foolish old woman that hadn’t given up on a man that just could not be bothered.
She gave him a smile but it was a stretch of the lips that didn’t quite make it to her eyes which just seemed sad, but they always were when it came to love and family, “Thank you for the chat.” she said politely and after a moment stuck out her hand to shake his. She didn’t say something stupid like they should do it again, Theseus hadn’t shown much interest in her except to complain about her boyfriend and subtly suggest she was making wrong life choices. Her grandfather hadn’t ratted her out to Poseidon and he had a sort of conversation like a semi-human being, it was enough for her.
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"I wish...." There were a lot of things Theseus could wish he'd done right, he just wasn't very good at heart to heart. "She was a strong woman." She had to be to keep that kind of hope. He looked up when she stood. He shook her hand but then did the chivalrous thing and kissed the top. "Just...be careful." He could tangle with these sorts. She might one day not be so lucky. He could see she had the same hope as Sophia.