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Chance Avaritia "Greed" ([info]better_than) wrote in [info]nevermore_logs,
@ 2012-12-03 11:44:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood: depressed
Entry tags:greed, zoe hansen

Who: Greed and Zoe
What: Returning baby Ava so Satan doesn't make her crispy bacon.
When: Sunday afternoon, December 2 [Backdated]
Where: Church
Warnings: Cuteness?


The entire backseat of his yellow sports car was crammed with toys, clothes and other goodies that he had bought Ava. The gold bracelet he had originally picked her for was not within the mound of stuff. If he wasn't able to keep baby Ava then he was not giving up his prize. It was a shame her parents hadn't put up reward money for finding her or the kid would have been taken to the police station. Instead Greed was going to dump her right back on the church steps with her bag of goodies. Already the kid had started to wail as he strapped her into the car with Zoe. The ride was further out as he tended to hop around churches like a drunk did bars. Once in the parking lot he gave Zoe the duties at dragging up the two clear bags of stuff that he'd crammed everything into.

Ava clung to Greed's vest as he walked her toward the front door. She had already grown gravely attached to him, which was the side effect to his influence. On someone so young she would have lasted longer with him before wearing out. Babies had a lot more strength. As he peeled her off of him she gripped his vest tighter her fat bottom lip poking out ready to rip a loud cry. He sat her down still in that cute yellow dress he'd picked out, a sun hat to cover her eyes and a jacket to keep her warm. The moment he started to back away those little hiccups surfaced and her eyes filled with tears. It didn't matter what the girl grew up to be, she wasn't going to forget Greed. He'd branded himself into her head, to him she was his new father. Her parents would never again have the bond they'd shared before because she'd been infused with a deadly Sin.

Greed walked back up the steps, wiping away the tears off her puffy cheeks. "Don't do that..." he said, crouching down to her level. She instantly hushed, bright eyes focused on his voice. "I'll visit. Sometime. Or something." He buttoned up the top button of her coat as the wind gushed by. "You look much cuter as a fat butterball than fried crispy bacon." This was the third time he'd had to give something up, it wasn't getting any easier. Giving things wasn't his territory. It was for his benefit, to protect what was his because Satan killing it would be another Hell King stealing from him.

He cushioned her between the bags of toys and clothes, giving the little thing a kiss on the cheek. She smiled softly one last time before breaking out into a tearful wail when he left again. Her fat little arms reached out as he sat in his car watching from a distance. He wasn't going to leave before seeing someone come out. After a few minutes he fished around in his pocket and pulled out the golden bracelet and hung it from his rear view mirror.

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[info]better_than
2012-12-06 01:46 am UTC (link)
He literally couldn't break his grip. Not right now. He wanted her to understand. Right now. He expected her to, but that was his selfishness. It didn't make sense to him that she couldn't. She was bringing out so many horrible things inside with her sadness. The way she seemed so repulsed by him dug another hole inside.

She was pulling away from him. The same way Josie had. "If I let you go you'll run. You'll run and you'll never look back." This was the price he paid for not using her like he used others. Why did her emotions bleed into him like this. He didn't want to feel this, and once she left he had lost everything he treasured in one day. There was no one to turn to. He couldn't even go running to Lust.

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[info]history_repeats
2012-12-06 01:57 am UTC (link)
Her skin ached just from being in his arms and part of her wanted to turn and bury her face in his neck and just cry for days. If only he wasn't the source of her pain. She still didn't look at him, but she wasn't struggling because it was useless and she felt like she had no energy left at the moment, her voice reflect that, she sounded... crushed. "What difference does it make, you'll find someone else." isn't that what he did? Collect toys? He broke her, he should have a party and move on to the next one. She couldn't help but add, "Maybe they'll be worth a whole hour." because it wasn't just the incest, it was how little she'd meant to him. She didn't care how he tried to justify it, if he knew that she wouldn't be able to understand sleeping with his sister then he knew that Zoe would have considered Lust part of that promise.

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[info]better_than
2012-12-06 02:08 am UTC (link)
He wanted her to cling to him because he could make her. He would make her...but through her hurtful sobs he couldn't. He'd never made her do anything now, he had no chance to start now---because the moment he did she was really gone.

She was a million pieces on the floor, but super glue and duct tape wouldn't fix this one. On his own Greed fucked up.

"Stop it. Stop saying that," he said in his own chocked reply, sniffing away that huge lump in his throat. God it was hard to talk like this. He was draining her slowly like this, he could feel her go limp in his arms. "Stop it...stop it...stop it."

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[info]history_repeats
2012-12-06 02:23 am UTC (link)
Zoe felt fresh tears at just hearing his voice telling her to stop. "Why?" she asked incredulously. What was the point now? "Isn't the truth supposed to hurt? I begged you to please let me be because I knew this would happen and you told me it would!" she shook her head, "But none of this has ever been about me. Why should you give a damn about how much you hurt a stupid toaster. You have the perfect excuse to be selfish but you know what, Sin or not, you're as bad as the rest of them." the brief burst of energy she had died again as she said in a defeated hushed voice, "Congratulations, you're finally a real boy." because what he did had nothing to do with being a Sin in her eyes. He hurt her. He did what they all did. The only difference was that this time she gave her heart to him, she gave her heart to the one guy that already told her he broke everything. And she still handed it over. She wanted to blame it on him, say he stole it, but he didn't. She knew.. she knew.. and this was her fault.

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[info]better_than
2012-12-06 02:33 am UTC (link)
"This isn't my fault. Fuck you..." his voice was a whisper, his grip easing up. She might as well have jumped in that lake with Josie because this time she'd given him hope in thinking he could be himself. She'd opened that door and now what was she doing? She was shoving it in his face! That was not fair at all.

His arms dropped from her now, his eyes focused forward and he couldn't see anything through his own tears. Just...a heaviness he couldn't lift.

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[info]history_repeats
2012-12-06 02:43 am UTC (link)
"No, it's mine." she choked on the words, "I knew better. I just thought because.." she couldn't finish her words and now that his arms dropped from around her, she raked her hands through her hair as her face fell again and a sob broke from her. She felt stupid telling him any of the things she thought because it'd all been wrong. She got to her feet quickly, literally shaking and practically ran into the bathroom.

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[info]better_than
2012-12-06 02:53 am UTC (link)
He realized he'd released her and scrambled to get a hold of her again. He'd chased Josie off a cliff. She had let go of him that time. "Zoe!" he picked himself up throwing himself to the bathroom but the door was shut.

Greed threw his back against the door, hitting his head against it. "Because of what Zoe? Say it!" he wanted to hear her say it because no one had ever wanted to see him as a human boy. Now, she treated him as the Sin he really was.

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[info]history_repeats
2012-12-06 03:03 am UTC (link)
Her voice just shouted back, "WHY!? What difference could it possibly make??" but she couldn't hide the anguish in her voice at knowing it really didn't make a difference. At least she was on her own, she sat on the floor and realized she was still wearing that dress thing and took it off, grabbing her clothes. Wanting to get away from here.

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[info]better_than
2012-12-06 03:09 am UTC (link)
Greed barricaded himself against the door. If she was going to go in there, he wasn't letting her out. He banged his head against it again. He messed it all up. He fucked everything up. He just held on so tight...

"Because it does! Because to you I'm not just some Sin. Stop treating me like I am." If she'd known in the beginning before he'd even opened his mouth, she would have done the same. She would have kept walking. He would have never given her a second glance.

Instead she had picked up his wallet and opened the door to so many possibilities. Now that door was closed.

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[info]history_repeats
2012-12-06 03:18 am UTC (link)
Zoe's hands were shaking as she covered her face, finally back in her own clothes, her knees to her chest like a child. "I thought you were different." she said it in a normal voice, as if he was right next to her, not knowing or caring if he heard her. "I thought maybe.." she shook her head and shouted, "It doesn't matter! It's done!"

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[info]better_than
2012-12-06 03:43 am UTC (link)
"No!" It wasn't done. Not until he was done. And could he really even be done with her when she opened his mind to all the things that seemed taboo for a Sin to feel or have? He was closest to both sides and now she was shrinking him back into the mean side. "No! It's not done. You're not running from me to. No, Zoe!"

He was quickly spinning into all sorts of weird right now. This is what happened when he tried to do things on his own. Whether Lust had been there or not, he'd tried to do this without her. It was when he made the biggest messes.

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[info]history_repeats
2012-12-06 03:56 am UTC (link)
Zoe shook her head, almost rambling now, "I didn't run from you. I knew who you were, what you were and I stayed. I wanted to believe that you cared about me and how I felt, that it meant something to you, more than just something to add to your collection. I felt like I finally.." she shook her head, burying it back in her arms.

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[info]better_than
2012-12-06 04:23 am UTC (link)
All he could do was keep holding on. He opened up the door and dragged her back out where he could wrap himself around her. He was suffocating, clinging tight when the person couldn't breathe anymore. He was a blanket around her now.

"You do....don't try to tell me you don't mean anything to me..." he couldn't hear it from her. Lust said things like that to him and twisted his thoughts, Zoe just crushed them.

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[info]history_repeats
2012-12-06 04:34 am UTC (link)
Zoe struggled and dragged her feet when he grabbed her, "No! Let me go!" but as always, resistance was futile with Greed. She still looked away, not wanting to see him, "I don't have to try. I'm no different than any of that crap in a storage locker except I'm outside. You.. you just don't get it. You don't understand. You don't know what it feels like!" she hit and punched and shoved at him as much as she could because he was a bastard and none of this was fair, "You only know what it's like to not have enough, you don't know how shitty it feels to not be enough!" and voicing it out loud just broke her again as she shook with tears that still were coming.

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[info]better_than
2012-12-06 05:25 am UTC (link)
"Stop saying that. Stop treating me like this." She didn't seen a person anymore. She saw the Sin and from her he hated it. It repulsed him. His only reaction could be in a tantrums, a tearful one, but he was still metaphoricaly stomping his feet. It was about him. The more she shoved what she saw of him now, the more he put on the face she hated. She wasn't listening again. She needed to listen to him, even if she couldn't trust him.

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[info]history_repeats
2012-12-06 05:35 am UTC (link)
Zoe felt like she was drowning and she didn't want to deal with any of this, she wanted to go home, curl up in her bed and just cry for a week. But Greed wasn't letting her. He was forcing her to stay, forcing her to feel everything in front of him and all he could say was to stop it and she couldn't. "Treating you like what? Like you hurt me more than anyone else ever has?" did he not get it? She finally looked at him, nothing but agony in her eyes and features.. she didn't mean to but she shouted, "You BROKE my heart." did he get it now?

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[info]better_than
2012-12-06 05:50 am UTC (link)
He told her before he'd never had this before. Girlfriends, real ones. The end of them he was equally unused to. He'd thought he'd loved, he'd been married, but this it was weird. This was raw human emotion and he was trying to reject it--and yet hang on to the face Zoe let him be. He was losing it though, out of suffering, sin lingered. He didn't want to hurt her, but he'd already done that. He'd broken his toy before it was ready.

He looked at her with red eyes. He understood it, but what he didn't understand was how to fix it.

"I can't duct tape it back---" he shook his head.

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[info]history_repeats
2012-12-06 06:06 am UTC (link)
Zoe sighed, it was like talking to a child. A helpless child. "No.. you can't." she said quietly, feeling tired. She rested her brow on his shoulder, "For once I just wanted to be enough. I wanted to.. and don't tell me to stop it because you don't know what it's like to want to give you what you want and not be able to only to find out it wouldn't make a damn difference. It wouldn't be enough even if I could." and maybe that's what killed most of all. The fact that even if she and Greed could have sex, it wouldn't have changed the situation they were in at this moment even one tiny bit. She had hoped maybe how she felt about him might have made a difference but feelings didn't keep warm your bed at night.

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[info]better_than
2012-12-06 06:32 pm UTC (link)
Greed's cheek rested against the side of her head. "I'm sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry," her hurt ran through him so heavy, causing his hand to shake as he threaded his fingers through her hair. What he had with Lust wasn't just sex. It was how they communicated. Saying that now wouldn't make a difference because Zoe saw what she wanted, and no matter what he selfishly made this as an attack on him. He wanted to put an bandaid over it, but this was more than a flesh wound.

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[info]history_repeats
2012-12-06 06:47 pm UTC (link)
It was weird being comforted by the one that was causing the pain. That wasn't normally how it worked but since when did Greed ever play by the rules of the game. All his apologies did were make her cry harder and she shook her head, there was no way to fix this. She'd given him all she had and it wasn't enough, it would never be enough and she felt worthless. "Let me go." she said quietly, "Please, if you ever cared for me at all, let me go.. please let me go." her voice cracking amidst the tears. But her body was already shutting down from the emotional system overload she was going through. But she wasn't just talking about physically letting her leave, she needed Greed to stay away so she could try to get over him.

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[info]better_than
2012-12-07 12:59 am UTC (link)
"I can't. I can't let go of something..." Even Ava he'd returned for selfish reasons, and not devoid of his influence. It wasn't possible for him to give in and give up. He wasn't designed that way. She knew that, it was a fruitless question.

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[info]history_repeats
2012-12-07 01:16 am UTC (link)
Zoe shook her head, "You said you can always find a way so please," he could if he wanted to, she knew it. He had to be able to. Just this once, he could make an exception. She pushed at him weakly, "Please.. please.." her tears would not stop coming and she finally stopped struggling, her tiny frame shaking as she cried in his arms until finally exhaustion took over and she fell asleep.

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