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Aderyn Rhiannon Ceredig (feuillemort) wrote in nevermore_logs,
@ 2022-08-11 13:17:00

Entry tags:

aderyn ceredig, rhiannon llewellyn, saint david

WHO: Aderyn Ceredig, Saint David, Rhianning Lywywyywnnwllyn
WHEN: Thursday afternoon
WHERE: The hospital
WHAT: Talking frankly
WARNINGS: Discussions of her suicide attempt

Addy was getting out of the hospital the very next day, and she was both excited and nervous. She had asked her father and Rhiannon to come visit just to sort some things out and talk things through. She wanted to be responsible about this and talk out their worries and fears, as well as her own. It was safer to put boundaries in place and set up some routines for her to follow to make sure she stayed well.

She returned to her room after lunch and picked up a book to read while she waited for them, though she wasn't really able to full concentrate on it.

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dewi_sant
2022-08-11 11:29 am UTC (link)

Going to visit his daughter got easier each time he went. At first, it had been difficult to see Aderyn in such pain, and David had had to pray a lot for help to deal with that. But each time he went back, she seemed to be doing better and better, especially since Iestyn and Henry were both allowed in.

Tomorrow, she would be accompanying David and Rhiannon back home again. David was anticipating it greatly, because it was another step on the good road to recovery.

"Prynhawn Da," he said in greeting as he and Rhiannon arrived in Addy's room that afternoon. "Hello, darling. Give us a cwtch?"

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feuillemort
2022-08-11 11:35 am UTC (link)

Addy squealed and she jumped off the bed, flinging the book aside, and herself into her father's arms all in one supremely odd motion. Rhiannon made to catch the book, but she missed and it fell flapping to the floor, where it lay, forgotten because Rhiannon eyed it like she was not about to bend over right now.

"Da!" Addy said, cuddling her face into his chest. She nuzzled into his shirt and just let him hold her. "I love you," she said, feeling the need to say it as often as possible. "I love you I love you." Yes she had seen him a few days ago, and talked to him every day, but she was feeling clingy.

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	dewi_sant 2022-08-11 11:41 am UTC (link)
	David closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, because it did feel so wonderful to have her close like this. "I love you too," he replied, petting her back. "How is everything? Did you have a good lunch?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

feuillemort
2022-08-11 11:43 am UTC (link)

She leaned back and went to cuddle into Rhiannon's arms just the same. "I did! Burgers and fries," she said, eying him up to see if he was going to react to that. She was so amused at how much he detested things like hamburgers and - god forbid - hot dogs. "What about you, Da?" she asked, her tone pointed. "Iestyn said you've been doing that fasting thing."

"Oh, don't get me started," Rhiannon sighed, moving to drop into a chair.

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dewi_sant
2022-08-11 11:54 am UTC (link)

David rolled his eyes heavenward for strength. "I am not wasting away, am I?" he said with a sigh. He had been living on a restricted diet for centuries before these two women had even been born, and yet they still thought they could change it. He didn't particularly want to get into it over again right now, either.

He didn't know how either of them could stomach burgers though.

"I am doing fine," he said, to emphasise that he was, in fact. "Much better now that you are returning home to us tomorrow."

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feuillemort
2022-08-11 11:59 am UTC (link)

"You know I hate it when you do that, Da," Addy said, though she wasn't going to go on about it for too long. "And I'm sure you're fine, but it still bothers me. I don't like anyone not eating. I was wasting away. How someone can choose to do that is beyond me." She threw her hands up a bit. "Are you gonna keep doing it when I'm home?" Maybe if she was there, he wouldn't see the need.

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dewi_sant
2022-08-11 12:12 pm UTC (link)

"I am still eating," David replied, with the tone of someone who has said this many times and is still trying to sound reasonable. "I never stopped eating. I will continue to eat." So he wasn't eating casseroles and pastries. A man could live on bread and water for a long time, and he'd been hardly doing it for a couple of weeks. He would accept a slice of cheese as well if Rhiannon made faces at him, and he just made sure to avoid sitting at the table at meal times so it wasn't so obvious, out of consideration for their feelings. There were always dishes to do.

Anyway, Aderyn was coming home. His prayers for strength had been answered.

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feuillemort
2022-08-11 12:16 pm UTC (link)

"That was not an answer," Aderyn sighed at him. "And you people all wonder where I got it from! Who would have thought I learned it from the saint!?" Rhiannon snorted and hid her face behind a throw pillow.

"Well I'll be watching you anyway. And I figure you'll be watching me. Which is...sort of what I wanted to talk about if that's okay. Expectations, routines. That kind of thing."

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	dewi_sant 2022-08-11 12:24 pm UTC (link)
	"You do not need to watch me, Aderyn," David said, sitting down in a chair by the bed and crossing his legs. He was a healthy grown man, and he was her father. He would take care of himself with or without her "watching" him. "I have Rhiannon for that. Worry about yourself first and foremost. Did you have expectations that the doctors may have suggested?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	feuillemort 2022-08-11 12:28 pm UTC (link)
	"Well I'm gonna," she said, sassy as anything. "As for the expectations though...I guess I wanted to know what you think. I know I broke your trust and it's going to be awhile before you know it's safe to like...I dunno...trust me alone? Are there boundaries you want to put in place?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

dewi_sant
2022-08-11 12:46 pm UTC (link)

A twitch of a frown of frustration creased his brow for a moment, before he had to remind himself that it came from a place of love. "You do not need to. I broke my fast several days ago, and you have your daughter to think of," he said, looking to Rhiannon for confirmation. They had discussed these issues together a few times already. "Rhiannon will be sleeping in the room next to you. We do not expect you to keep your door open at all times- you have a reasonable expectation of privacy- but if you kept it open at night, that would be a reassurance. I know Iestyn has told you that all the medication is in a lock box to which I and Rhiannon hold a key. We will furnish you with a small supply of your medication in a labeled box. Once a routine is established and trust built, the rules can be relaxed a little." And Henry could be in control of his own medications again too. It was just safer to know where everything was at this stage.

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feuillemort
2022-08-11 12:54 pm UTC (link)

Addy kept herself from rolling her eyes too, because all he had to say was that he had broken his fast a few minutes ago, and then they could have moved on. She loved him so much, but sometimes he was so frustrating.

...maybe that's where she got her stubbornness as well...

When David started talking about his expectations though, Addy straightened up and listened. Once he was finished, she nodded. "I can do that," she said easily. I can keep my door open at night if it would make you feel better. Of course I will. Will and Tuck and I were discussing Evie's movements. They are going to bring her over during the day for a few days but she'll spend the nights with them. I think they want to see how I am doing before making any big decisions. Which is fair, as much as I want to bitch about it."

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dewi_sant
2022-08-11 01:04 pm UTC (link)

"Sleep loss can affect your mental health, so it is reasonable, at least at first," David said with a nod of agreement. "But having her back with you will help too. I know that you miss her." They did too. Evie was such a delight, not having her around all the time made the place seem too quiet. And perhaps it would give Addy that sense of responsibility and a desire to get better that she might not have felt so strongly without her daughter there.

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feuillemort
2022-08-12 06:03 am UTC (link)

"I miss her so much," Addy whispered. She had only been away from Evie for three weeks and she had still seen her little girl almost every day. It still ached, how much she missed having her close by so often. And she had been spending a lot of time thinking about how much it must have hurt David to let her and Iestyn go all those years ago. God, she couldn't imagine.

"I have a few more things," Rhiannon spoke up. "I don't want any alcohol in the house for a bit. I have spoken to Iestyn and Henry about it and they understand."

Addy felt really bad that the things she was going through were affecting her brother and brother-in-law too. "Yeah," Addy nodded, "can't blame you there. No worries, no alcohol."

"And maybe it's not fair," Rhiannon started, "but I- I'd like you home before midnight if you do go out. Unless you're at one of Iestyn's shows and then you're out with him specifically. That's less about you, Addy, and more about other people."

Addy was starting to feel a little bit like she was seventeen again, and Rhiannon was telling her off for sneaking out. She knew this wasn't forever, though. "Okay," she nodded. "Henry and Iestyn asked if I could spend the first week down with them, which I think will be really nice. And if Evie isn't there at night anyway, at least she won't keep them up."

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dewi_sant
2022-08-12 11:49 am UTC (link)

David nodded along with what Rhiannon was saying. Those measures would make him feel a lot better about things too, a bit more secure for Addy's safety. Rhiannon had told him what Addy was like as a teenager. That and the new diagnosis certainly allowed for reckless behaviour. Looking at his daughter now, though, he only saw a tired, hurting young woman. It was tough having to be so strict, but it really was for the best.

"It'll be nice to be close to your brother," he said. "I think you will need the support. He knows to watch out for you too. And Addy, anything you need, if you're feeling off or anything, we're here for you. Please, please talk to us, about anything. You don't have to feel ashamed or embarrassed. We love you just the way you are."

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feuillemort
2022-08-13 10:34 am UTC (link)

"Da, I'm so sorry I kept so many secrets. Now that my brain is being sorted out, I'm horrified by how much I didn't say." She reached out for his hand, giving his a squeeze. "I'm so, so sorry." She would address Rhiannon in a moment, but this was just for her father. "I'm going to promise you, okay? I'll talk to you. I'm so sorry I thought I meant so little. It wasn't from anything you did."

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	dewi_sant 2022-08-14 11:09 am UTC (link)
	David knew it was all to do with Addy's mental health, but it was still nice to hear her say it wasn't anything he'd done. "That is all I really want," he said kindly, reaching up to brush a strand of hair off Addy's forehead. "I want you to talk to all of us, and hopefully, that will make all the difference. I forgive you. Together we can move forward, ie?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

feuillemort
2022-08-14 11:13 am UTC (link)

"Together," Addy grinned at him. She leaned in to kiss his cheek, and then she turned to her aunty. "Same to you, Rhiannon. I'm so sorry. I got so lost."

"I'm only glad you get the chance to find yourself," Rhiannon said, pulling Addy in for a close hug. "And you have us to help on the way."

"Yeah, of course!" Addy pulled back and she moved so she could see both of them. "Now I just have to work out who this new Addy is. This Addy who has a diagnosis and severe trauma and a kid to boot. Do I want to go back to school? Do I want to get a job? Do I want to just focus on being a mum for a few years? I don't even remember what my hobbies used to be!"

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dewi_sant
2022-08-14 11:39 am UTC (link)

"You don't have to know all the answers right away!" David smiled a bit at Addy's sudden passion over finding herself. "Don't rush into anything. Just being there for yourself and for your daughter is not a bad thing."

Looking across at Rhiannon, he was glad to see some of the same more relaxed posture as he felt himself. Addy was making all the right noises about wanting to heal and grow, and it was good to hear. The sooner they could find a new routine, the better.

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