Who: Victor Shou, Teja Jansen What: Final cigarettes. When: Sometime in mid-December 2008. Where: SAC. Rating: R for permanent scarring. Status: Complete
Teja stepped out of the elevator carriage and walked down the hallway, her the sound of her heels against the linoleum reverberated through the corridor. She stopped before fireproofed double doors and swiped her security card to gain access inside. Watching the doctors in their labcoats at work in an actual lab brought back waves of nostalgia, part of her wished she could go back to those days when she was one among many. Her attention focused on the one at the opposite end of the lab, clipboard in hand and issuing instruction to a tech. Teja made no move to step closer or to gain anyone's attention.
She could wait.
Testing had improved over the weeks Victor had spent at the Center, but there were still errors to be ironed out. The techs, much like the equipment, needed to be trained to perform the tasks expected of them according to his standards, not their own. He handed the clipboard back to the assistant in question, forgoing a second check. He would either be understood or he wouldn't. He didn't have time to educate. "Run the checks a second time and isolate the dissonance if it shows up again. Then I'll come take a look."
He made his way through the long lab, verifying that his colleagues were on the same page, when he caught sight of her at the other end. A solitary but imposing figure - and he wasn't the only one to notice.
"Doctor Shou." she said as means of greeting, uncrossing her arms and slipping them into her labcoat pocket. "I thought I would come see first hand your progress in reorganizing the lab instead of the usual summons."
"You're always welcome, Doctor Jansen," he replied easily, gesturing with his arm towards the lab. "It's coming along, we're still fixing some issues as they arise, but broadly speaking, we are making good progress."
She stepped past him and peered over the shoulders of a tech before walking further down the lab. The place was more organized than when she visited weeks before, much to her delight. "Are there any new projects or are they still focused on their completing ones in progress?"
"We're phasing out the old trials," Victor supplied as he followed her deeper into the lab. "Requests for new research are being transfered from DC. We should have most of the data by the end of the week."
"That's good. The main office is about to roll out new initiatives in the coming weeks that we should be prepared for." Teja stated, stopping to glance through a file that was left unattended on a technician's stool. "How are your subjects? Are you in need of more volunteers?"
Victor pondered his reply before giving it. "Six of them are male. We'd benefit from a more gender equal sample. Age-wise, we have subjects aged eighteen to fifty-two. They're all kept sedated, but the younger ones are the most problematic when awake. But I imagine you know."
Teja made a noncommittal sound in her throat before handing the file to Victor. "I'll see what we can do. In the meantime, keep up the good work."
Victor took the file from her hand and set it down onto the table. He was still getting used to her changes in mood and tone and attitude, but some things he had already picked up. "Is that all?"
"That was all, unless there was something you needed to call to my attention." Teja turned on her heel to glance at him.
"Come to my office," he suggested and moved in said direction before she could refuse. White and stainless steel filtered through the edges of his field of vision, fading to the brown of his door and then the sparse interior of his office. It was unlike hers by virtue of being in the basement.
Teja pursed her lips together and followed him into the office, pulling her hands out of her pockets to cross her arms. She entered the room with the mindset of business, though she had yet to discern what to expect from their face-to-face meetings. "What is it?"
Victor leaned back against his desk, both hands on the wood. "Your correspondence with Washington interests me. Patient Marco Medina is an ideal subject for some of the testing we're currently performing. But the higher ups are resistant to an extension of the sample pool - something to do with friends and family. Can I count on your support, Doctor?"
"If you believe if will be of benefit to his current mental state, of course." It was purely lip service, he cared about Medina's well-being as much as Teja did. "Prepare a new proposal that you may send with my endorsement."
"Thank you. I appreciate the vote of confidence," he replied, equally formal and official when the words themselves were empty paper cups. "He has been regressing at an alarming state. Do you forese a change in treatment in the near future?"
A shake of her head. "There have been talks of returning him to the public so that he may be picked up by another agency."
Victor folded his arms over his chest, mindful of the fact that he was mirroring her. "That would be an unfortunate development." As far as he was concerned. "He is the first schizophrenic we've detained."
"Most of your current subjects do not currently have any type of mental disorders, acquiring Medina would be a large opportunity to you and your research." Teja noted, her tone in agreement. "I'm sure the matter of family and friends will be overlooked in light of his current condition."
"If you add your vote to the ballot, yes," Victor acquiesced. "Your status in the SAC alone would be enough, but considering the mission you're about to embark upon..." He trailed off, letting her fill in the rest. She was about to become very important for the government's research branch, that much he knew.
"Where I'm to be paired with a man out of state and not in Seattle's database?" she concluded for him and crossed over to lean against the edge of his desk beside him, their shoulders brushing. "I'm about to become a person of interest in DC. Do you think I should have declined the offer?"
"Not at all," Victor replied easily and meant it. "It's a unique research opportunity and certainly more profitable than the usual pairing process." Here, they were above the law. above the Oath and above morals. They did what was right for science, damned be the rest. He glanced at her profile. "There is an exit strategy, I hope."
"Of course I do, as with any high risk experiments with unknown variables. If successful, it will be used as an Adjustment Center model for those cases we do actually counsel." she turned her head so that their eyes could meet. "I'm sure I can handle marriage and motherhood without compromising my work here, don't you?"
Victor turned his gaze from the curve of her shoulder to the darkness of her eyes. It wasn't the color so much as the 'vibe' they instilled. "Are you asking my opinion, Doctor?"
"For once," Teja answered, a slow smile appearing on her lips. "Take advantage of it while I'm curious."
"Officially, I think you're the ideal candidate for this experiment," he offered dispassionately. "Unofficially, I think it's a drain on your time and an unnecessary complication for someone as high up in the hierarchy as you are."
"It might be a good thing for me, in the end." she countered with a shrug. "Besides, I will be well compensated for any inconvenience it may have on my time."
Victor mirrored her shrug. "Like I said. Officially, I think you are an excellent choice." He wondered that she cared what he thought before quickly dismissing the possibility. "I am curious to hear the results. So far, relocation projects seem to be a lost cause."
Teja resisted the urge to shrug, though she was interested in his sudden turn at being devil's advocate. "If they can receive a moderate success out of one, they will find reason in implementing the program at a larger scale."
"So you support the initiative before knowing if it will be successful?" Victor teased, smiling as he pushed away from the desk. Rounding the massive table, he reached for the cigarette pack he had concealed in a drawer. "Your bias is intriguing, Doctor."
"If I approach the initiative as a failure, why bother participating in the research? Especially on a lost cause, as you say." she rounded the table from the opposite side, taking the cigarette pack from his hands. "It's not bias for being ambitious, Doctor."
"Ambition can cloud your judgment," Victor pointed out, coolly. "Expectations placed too high can influence the way results are perceived by the tester. All the more so when there is no evidence to justify them."
"Then I should have declined the research." Teja asked, opening the pack and extracted a cigarette from it before tossing the remainder in the bin. There was to be no smoking in the building. She rolled the stick between her fingers as she watched him. "You're giving contradictory advice, Victor."
"I wasn't aware that you needed my advice," he countered, eyeing her movements with a tired eye. It was so very much her. "Do you require a light?"
"I don't smoke." Teja held the cigarette to her lips anyway. "Of course I needed advice, why else would I ask?"
The contradiction stared him in the face and he reached back into the drawer for the lighter. "I hope you're not asking me to analyze your motives, Doctor. I don't need an assessment of my skills to know that's a lost battle." He flicked open the light, holding it out for her but not so close that she wouldn't have to make the choice herself.
"Wise assessment," Teja grinned and leaned forward to hold the cigarette over the lighter, letting the smoke enter her mouth but not stopped short of inhaling it in. She pulled away to blow the smoke past her lips. "Perhaps I wanted to see your unfiltered reaction about the end of our relationship outside of work, if you want to call it that."
The lighter flicked shut with a click and Victor tossed it to the desk, watching smoke flit past Teja's lips. "Is that so." He didn't phrase it as a question because he didn't expect an answer. No confirmation was needed. "And am I satisfying your expectations?"
"Inconclusive." she concluded, holding out the cigarette for Victor to take. An indirect kiss of sorts. The thought amused her. "Logically, I will have to enter the program uninvolved or it will compromise the situation before it starts."
"I'm not disagreeing in any particular way," Victor replied casually and took the cigarette from her fingers. They were cold. He imagined he could taste her lipstick on the filter and took a deep drag. Inhaling proper. "I appreciate the candid notice."
"Now my expectations have been met." Teja smiled and sat on the edge of Victor's desk, crossing her legs. "You're welcome for the notice. As your employer I will need you to audit the data as it comes in."
"I can't wait," he drawled and turned the cigarette in his fingers, holding it filter-first in her direction. "My interest has been piqued. It's not often that one hears your so passionate about a project, Doctor."
"It's not often at all, that is why I am looking forward to it." Teja said, covering his wrist with her hand as she brought his hand and the cigarette to her lips, inhaling enough to get a taste of the smoke before letting go. "You're very understanding, I appreciate it."
"As long as you appreciate it," Victor murmured, watching her lips as they closed around the filter. His fingers slipped away from the cigarette itself to her chin. Still ensconced in Teja's grasp, he attempted to go no further.
Teja released Victor's hand to remove the cigarette from her lips. "I appreciate most that you do." she murmured, her eyes lowered to focus on his parted lips, how the smoke escaped slowly between them.
Victor's finger found her jawline and traced it gently down to the juncture between head and throat. "For someone who doesn't smoke, you seem to have a taste for it," he commented as he dropped his hand to her clavicle and down over her chest.
"I suppose it is because it reminds me of someone." she sighed, taking a puff before waving the cigarette in front of his face. "Here."
He took the cigarette but didn't take a drag - why bother, when he could inhale her smoke instead. "I hope it's not someone you'll never see again. That would make the memories impossible to compete with."
"Here I was, hoping, that it was someone I am seeing at this moment, unless you happen to be an apparition." she grinned and stood from the desk so that she could stand in front of him.
Victor reflected her smile, but toned it down, as mirrors often did. "I know." There were still a few drags left in the cigarette and he tapped the ash into the bin. He didn't tower over her, but neither were they equals. He regarded her coolly, making no move to bridge the distance between them, nor to pull away.
"You wouldn't want to be caught smoking at work by anyone else, would you?" she queried with a tilt of her head, taking a step forward into Victor's personal space. There were people milling about outside and the door was not locked.
"I wouldn't smoke at work in front of anyone else," he clarified, since she hadn't exactly caught him. "You enjoy sharing in the vice, even if you pretend otherwise, Doctor. Or at the very least flirting with it."
"That may be." she quirked an eyebrow and hooked one finger along the seam of his labcoat pocket as she watched him smoke. "I can quit it cold, how about you?"
"I'm not planning on trying," he retorted and wasn't entirely sure they were talking about smoking anymore. He looked away from her to exhale smoke and paused. "How long will you be tonight?"
"Late. Stop by my office before you go home tonight." It wasn't a request nor a question. Teja took the cigarette from his fingers.
"Understood." He relinquished the cigarette and their little game for a brief second and became her subordinate once more. "In case I forget, should I just make a detour on my way home. I do know your home address."
"A detour is fine, security already has clearance to let you through." Teja stated, taking a final draw from the cigarette before smothering it out on the surface of Victor's desk. "Have a productive day, Doctor Shou. Don't let me catch you with cigarettes in here again."
The warning carried with it the touch of amusement their disagreements usually brought on but he resisted a debate on the SAC rules she imposed. Vices were vices and weren't meant to be excused or explained. By eveningfall, Victor already broke through the reprimand twice and felt no compunction about the scent of tabacco that clung to his clothes as he went up to see Dr Jansen. He knocked on the closed office door twice before twisting the handle.
"Come in," Teja stated even as the door was already halfway open. Her back was turned to the person entered the room, though by that time the question of whom it might be narrowed considerably. She stepped down from the small stepladder in front of her bookshelf and flipped through the pages of the book in hand, confirming for herself that she picked the right medical journal she needed. "What is it?"
"You called," Victor replied easily, wondering if it had been a whim or if she really had wanted to see him. If the former, he could always leave. There was more work to do tonight, albeit on a computer and from the confines of his own apartment.
Teja looked up from the text of her book at the sound of his voice and spared him a glance. "I did." Her eyes returned to the journal. "What did you manage to accomplish today?"
"What I could, given the limited resources at my disposal," he fired back, advancing into her office and closing the door behind him. In the silent pause between 'could' and 'given', he made sure the turn of the lock echoed dully.
"I'm sure you made do." she smiled as she closed the book and stepped up on the ladder to return it to it's place. "You were probably more accomplished at your goals today than I."
"Depends on what your goals were," he noted and moved to occupy one of the chairs in front of her desk. "We've already established your expectations have little basis in reality." He referenced their earlier conversation as he undid the buttons on his jacket and folded one leg over the other.
"That's been established already? I thought there needed to be more research." Teja commented with a short laugh, pulling a second medical journal from the self and walked over to stand in front of her desk, turning the page for the published article she was looking for. (6:21:38 PM) kimchi rookie: "More research is always welcome," Victor agreed and allowed himself a smile. She had barely looked at him since he'd come in, but he lacked the sufficient arrogance to take offense. "What are you reading?"
"Your piece on biomanufactured neuropathic viral infections made to appear bacterial in origin. Impressive work." she leaned against the desk and crossed her feet at her ankles. "It is something that might be worth further examining at your convenience."
"I didn't know you had time for light reading," Victor offered with a smile. She was standing before him now, too far to touch, too close to ignore. "What revisions do you recommend?"
"None, though I do wonder how one would limit the risk of uncontrollable mutations." Teja closed the book and set it on her desk to puruse later. "Like I said, I was not as productive as I could have been."
"Additional research would be useful to that end," Victor sighed, leaning his chin in his hand and his elbow on the armrest. "What kept you occupied?"
"Medina. He was lucid today." she answered, reaching behind her for the notepad she kept with her at all times.
"Ah." Her pet project, he thought. "I don't suppose you got approval to attempt some trials with his consent?" Sarcasm intruded briefly, but he pushed it aside. "What did he say?"
"Not much, though I am starting to suspect he might be DID." she grinned as if she let his first question slide before adding: "I did get some form of consent, but I doubt it will be considered binding by any means."
"Multiple personality disorder?" Victor clarified. "Both interesting and a liability. Extreme cases can lead to suicide. You'd do well to advise that he be passed to another institution."
"I have, but they do not see any cause to expedite his transfer." Teja informed, tapping her upper arm with her fingers. "In the meantime, you are free to conduct low-risk studies on him off-record. If there are any findings that need to be documented officially, I can make arrangements later."
"I appreciate the opportunity." And he did, if nothing else it was a chance to play with several people all in one body and test their psychologies separately. Clinically, he had little potential and therefore he wasn't half as interested in the case as Dr Jansen. "Is that why you asked me here?"
"No." she tilted her head to the side and appraised him quietly before forming an answer with words. "I thought I would have one last cigarette before I quit."
Victor shrugged, non-committal disinterest visible in his gesture. "You threw away the ones I had, remember?" he replied.
"I can smell the tobacco smoke from here. Either you have more or you have been creative. Which is it?" She really could care less about the cigarettes or smoking, but it was just another part of the experiment.
Victor chuckled and reached for the pack. "The former." He pried one free and held it out for her. "We'll make an addict of you yet, Doctor."
"You can try, at least." she grinned, reaching out for the cigarette stick, her fingers lingering over his as she did so.
"Depends on the projected rate of success," Victor smiled and reached for his lighter. "You're in a better mood than this morning."
"You noticed." Teja held the cigarette to her lips and leaned forward, waiting for him to start up a flame. "No reason that I am aware of."
"I always notice," he replied and held the flame up for her. She looked different with fire reflected in her eyes and he smiled at the analogy. It was a flicker of romanticism, gone just as quickly.
"Are you the type to be sentimental?" she asked, her curiosity genuine as she leaned back against the desk, taking a short drag on the cigarette.
"Dreadfully." The lighter flicked shut, the small flame extinguished. They could both taste the lie. "But I'm not the one craving cigarettes."
"Perhaps I am growing sentimental over time." Teja held out her hand to examine the smoke as it rose from the burning ash. "Or it is symptom of something else, I have yet to discern."
"No need to imagine what isn't there," Victor suggested. "We're not in the business of making discoveries, but of creating new things." New drugs, new people. New ways of life. The existing world was too simplistic. "I've always wondered what cigarette burns would look like on human skin."
"Have you tried burning your own arm?" Teja asked, waving the cigarette stick in front of her, keeping it lit now more for the smell and the patterns that came from the rising smoke trail.
"No," he replied, truthful and amused at the turn of the conversation. "Have you?"
"Not even by accident?" she raised an eyebrow and nudged his crossed knee with her free hand. "And no, I have not. Never thought about it until you brought it up."
"I'm careful," he protested, as though that was an important character defect. In their line of work, hands were important. Motor skills all the more so. "Would you like to try?"
"I don't know what benefit it would be to me to try," Teja commented, pushing the leg away so that she could perch herself on his lap sideways, facing him. "What is a cigarette burn supposed to look like? Would it leave a scar?"
Victor uncrossed his legs obediently, watching as she moved to sit in his lap, the cigarette a flicker of embers between her fingers. "It would," he replied and leaned forward a few inches from her face. The closeness allowed him to remove his jacket fully and once that was done, he reached to lift up his sleeve.
"Then no, I don't." she whispered, taking in his face up close, the fine lines hidden along smooth skin. She cupped his chin with her free hand and drew him closer still, bringing her lips to his as a distraction, waiting until the kiss had lingered before lowering the lit cigarette onto the inside of his bare arm.
The sting of the burn made his arm buck, instinct taking over and trying to escape the pain that she delivered. Lips slid against hers, pain muffled behind clenched teeth as he fought not to pull away. It hurt more than anticipated. Fingers curled into a fist, muscles coiled and tense. If it lasted two seconds, it was probably too long but even with the cigarette gone, the pain lingered on.
She pulled away and caressed his cheek, smiling with a mixture of accomplishment along with her reassurance. "So now you will know...and have something to remember me by." Teja traced his bottom lip with her finger before twisting to discard the smothered cigarette on the desk.
He couldn't speak. His teeth were glued together, jaw locked tight as he rode out the neural impulses from his arm to his brain. Pain, white hot and overwhelming. He blinked back unbidden tears, leaning against the back of the chair and hearing it creak. She looked pleased. He wanted to tell her that much.
Teja turned and held his arm up to the light, the circular burn probably a 2nd degree at most. It would leave a beautiful scar. "Would you like some ice?"
"You keep ice... in your office?" he gritted out, letting her manipulate his arm like it wasn't tied to the rest of him. "Yes. Please."
"Of course I do." Teja stood an walked over to one of the wooden chests that decorated her office, one of which opened up to reveal a small refrigerator. She emptied out the mini-ice tray from the tiny compartment into a napkin before returning to Victor and his lap. Resting his arm across her lap, she wiped gently at the skin with a damp end of the napkin before setting the pack on his skin. "Does it hurt terribly?"
Part of her wanted him to burn her arm, if only so he would not have to describe it.
"On a scale of one to ten, it's a ten," he replied, breathing through his nose. He could feel pressure in his ears and a rushing pulse indicated high blood pressure, but it was too late to rethink the experience. Instead, he let her press ice against the wound and closed his eyes. "The inside of the arm is always sensitive. We should have picked a better area."
"I acted impulsively," she admitted, for all she knew about burns was that the ice would at least take the heat away from inflamed nerves. Teja dropped her head to his collarbone, could hear the fast pace of his heartbeat from there.
Victor heaved a breath. It was highly possible that he shouldn't be playing with fire, but playing with Teja was a guarantee that he'd be under stress. This was just a more physical manifestation of it. "I saw," he sighed and grasped her shoulder with his uninjured hand. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." she sighed, lifting her head to place a kiss on the underside of his jaw. She returned her head to his chest, watching as the ice began to melt through the napkin and left a cold trail of water across his arm. "Is the pain below 10 yet?"
"Eight," he replied, molding his fingers into the shape of her shoulder bone and stretching them back out again. "Seven. My arm is becoming numb." It was an experiment, nothing more. He just happened to be the test subject for once.
"It will hurt later." Teja murmured, sighing as his fingers spread across her shoulder and shifted closer in the seat, resting a hand on his chest.
"Undoubtedly," he agreed, licking dry lips. "I'll deal with it later," came the addition, like he could postpone the pain. Like he had a choice.
"I'm sure you will," she smiled faintly, curling her fingers against the fabric of the shirt, her thoughts on more than just the burn as she settled comfortably against him. "It might hurt later for me, I'm not sure."
"Three months from now, if all goes according to plan," he supplied and felt no guilt for reminding her. Why would he? He patted her shoulder as water slid down to the ground in a steady stream. "You'll survive."
"I will." And once she learned what it felt like, she would avoid it, like she did most painful experiences in her life. "I'm sure of that."
"I'm leaking onto your carpet," he pointed out, making no move to fix that as his fingers slid around her shoulder to her clavicle, over exposed skin.
"That you are," she agreed, humming softly at the touch, a mix somewhere between ticklish and pleasurable. Deciding it to be more of the latter, Teja tilted her head so that he could allow his fingers to explore more. "It can dry."
"It's your carpet," he sighed, having even less regard for office equipment than he did office policy. His hand tugged another button free, skimming over the edge of her bra. Sometimes the whole exercise was in testing her limits. Today, it seemed to be his own that were under observation.
"Then I don't care." she concluded, toying with the buttons of his shirt but otherwise leaving him untouched. She shallowed back a moan and sighed as his fingers skimmed her chest.
Victor couldn't always read her, but he didn't always care about knowing what she thought. Sometimes it was just easier to enjoy her when she was a warm body, a willing torturer. He counted heartbeats under his fingers, calculating the rhythm of her heart, and when ice cubes, half-melted, slid from his arm to the ground, he jumped, his concentration shattered
"Is the answer 170 over 80?" Teja asked after she waited for him to resettle back in his seat, her concentration a little more focused than his had been.
"Your blood pressure?" he queried, momentarily lost. His focus was shattered and his arm still hurt, he realized, if he moved it around. It didn't bode well for the coming days.
"Mmmhmm, thought you'd be curious to know." Teja slid both arms up his chest and hooked them around his neck.
"That's quite high," he commented, his lips against her hair. "If you're going to have a heart attack, I recommend moving into a less compromising position."
"I'm fine, I just threw out an arbituary number." she laughed softly, combing her fingers through the nape of his neck. "It was a test. As most things are."
"I'm not performing at my usual capacity," Victor retorted and it carried some of the usual bite. "Whatever that tells you, don't ignore the circumstances."
"You should learn to work through distractions," she murmured, reaching behind her to trail a finger from the pads of his hand along the pulseline to his wrist and forearm, pausing going further once her finger, still far from the actual burn, grazed cooled skin from the ice.
Victor winced but didn't remove his arm. It wasn't actual pain but the expectation of pain. "So I've noticed." He wouldn't have a choice - if pain was a distraction, he'd have to put up with it in coming days. "I hope your last cigarette was memorable."
"It was." Teja removed her hand to place it against his cheek, leaning forward to kiss him. "I hope it was for you too."
The difference was that he didn't expect it to be his last. Curling fingers into her hair like claws, he deepened the kiss, briefly, just enough to bruise. "We'll see."