Amy (amychen) wrote in neogenesisrpg, @ 2009-03-06 23:38:00 |
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Entry tags: | amy chen, nana kimigawa |
Who: Amy Chen and Nana Kimigawa
What: Nana has some news she needs to share.
When: Friday evening.
Where: Hugh's apartment. Pennington.
Rating: PG
Status: Complete
Nana wasn't sure who else to turn to. Her mother didn't understand, thought she should be happy. Gil was too busy, and had his own wife to worry about. So who was left? Amy. Despite any previous conflicts... Amy had always been there, a shoulder to cry on and a friend to talk to. She would understand, wouldn't she? Nana trusted in Amy to help her and comfort her... Right now that was all she needed. She was staring down a terrible possibility. She could handle having a baby on her own, but could she handle losing that baby? Could she handle raising a child for a year, two, five, ten, watching him waste away until the next minor infection dealt the final blow? She could feel tears stinging her eyes at the thought, and she blinked them back as best she could before ringing Amy's doorbell. She could at least hold her composure for now...
Playing house with Hugh was indubitably more work than she'd anticipated. Not that there was much cleaning to do and takeaway did just as well for dinner, when he barely had time taste it between court hearings, but there was a whole house to redecorate and so many things to plan for that when she wasn't working, Amy still couldn't allow herself to relax. It was almost as though relaxing would be the temptation her body needed to slump into sloth once more. She couldn't afford to be lazy with Sarah breathing down her neck.
When the doorbell rang, she stowed her laptop and the latest spreadsheat-slash-to do list and did a cursory check of her appearance. Even if it was the UPS guy, she just wanted to make a good impression. And if she was slightly disappointed to see it was Nana who showed up, she tried not to show it.
"Oh hi... this is unexpected. What brings you--are you crying?"
Somehow, that did it, and a tear rolled down her cheek before she could stop it. "I..." She bit her lip. "I bought a test today, and I'm pregnant, Amy. I can't..." She hiccuped, then covered her mouth, praying that Amy would invite her in and shut the door so she wasn't stuck crying in the hallway. "Amy, what am I going to do?"
"Oh my God..." Amy gaped stupidly, for two seconds lost to envy and shock before envy prevailed. "Come inside, quickly. What are you talking about? How can you be pregnant? You're not married anymore. Oh for crying out loud, Nana! Why did you wait so long?" She tugged her into the living room by the hand, raging all the way. "Did you just do one test? They can be wrong, I've heard it said so."
"I got pregnant before they had us divorced," she said, frowning. "I didn't... I-it doesn't change anything whether I knew a week ago or whether I know now." She was trembling, now, and tears spilled faster down her cheeks. "I-I took two and they were both positive." She hiccuped again, then gasped, trying to keep herself from breaking down entirely.
Amy clutched her hands tightly. "God, sit down before you fall down... you look like crap." And for once, she drew no satisfaction from pointing that out. She'd never seen Nana so disheveled before. It was more than a little unsettling. "Of course it matters... you're a nurse. You of all people should know that with the trimesters being short as they are a month can make all the difference." She couldn't believe what she was alluding to, but there it was. Abortion.
Nana stared at her in disbelief. "That's an automatic life sentence, Amy, and even if... Even if... I don't think they would allow it, there's a small chance the baby would survive to adulthood if it has... If it... " She sank to the floor, her shoulders shaking with sobs now. "I-I'm so scared, Amy," she sobbed. "I don't want my baby to die, I can't..."
"When I said sit, I didn't mean the floor," Amy grouched under her breath, getting down to the floor with Nana because it wasn't like she could leave here there by herself. "Shh, calm down, honey. It's going to be fine. Somehow. Your baby's not going to die, why would you even think of something as horrible as that?"
"They dissolved the marriage because we both carry a gene that..." Nana swallowed heavily, taking a breath to steady herself. "Th-that could cause a very serious problem. M-most people with it d-don't live past the age of ten." She hiccuped again, then squeezed her eyes shut tightly. "D-damn it...!"
"Nana," she tried the stern voice, the one her mother used when she wouldn't stop crying because Tommy had made fun of her mismatched eyes. "Nana, calm down. Breathe. You're hyperventilating here." Or maybe she wasn't, Amy couldn't be sure. She tried guessing but she wasn't the qualified nurse. No, the qualified nurse was crying her eyes out because she was pregnant. "Children are a blessing. Whatever happens, don't forget that, sweetie."
Nana shook her head. "N-no! Sh-she'll be sick her whole life and then die, how is that..." She closed her eyes tightly and bent over, holding her stomach. She felt like she might throw up from crying... Or was it from her pregnancy? She didn't know. "How is that a blessing, Amy?!"
Good question, Amy thought, but didn't say as much, one hand on Nana's shoulder and the other reaching for the tissue box on the table. "Here, for your nose." Maybe she distracted her a little, she'd stop being so doom and gloom about everything... "It can't really be that bad..." But what if it was? What if Nana's baby really was sick? "We'll figure something out. Don't cry. Crying's not going to help."
Nana took the tissue and wiped her eyes and nose, nodding slowly. A small sob still escaped her, but she did the best she could. "It's so awful, Amy, the things it can do..." She was wringing the tissue in her grip, willing herself to calm down. "They should have known, why didn't they know sooner?"
"I don't know... is it for sure? I mean, if it was a mistake the first time and they didn't know, maybe they could've mixed blood samples or something this time?" Amy scratched the back of her head, falling onto a hip by Nana's feet. "I don't know what to say. Is it certain that you're carrying... whatever you're carrying? Oh God, does that mean you shouldn't ever have children?"
"They dissolved our marriage, so I'm sure it must be correct..." That was a thought, though... She brightened ever so slightly. "B-but I'm definitely pregnant. I... I can have children. It's rare. But for both of us to have this gene greatly increases the chances that the baby will have it..."
"Like diabetes or something?" Amy had a brief flash of egotistical thought and remembered her mother's breast cancer. She knew nothing about Hugh's family, what if-- "Still. Get it checked. You work in a hospital, for Pete's sake. Nothing would be easier."
"Um, sort of. Yes." Nana frowned, still wringing the tissue in her hands. "I should, shouldn't I? B-but it won't change anything..." It would be nice to know either way, though. She could lay her fears to rest, or prepare for the worst.
"If the government were wrong about the gene, it changes everything!" Amy protested stubbornly. "You could have your marriage back. And your baby. It could happen." She hadn't even considered the possibility of Nana and Andrew getting back together - wouldn't have dreamed to suggest it - until now.
"Just because the baby isn't sick doesn't mean we don't have it..." She stood to throw the tissue away, then hesitantly rested her hand on her stomach. "I-it would be irresponsible... No, wrong of us, to try and bring any more children into the world with that risk." She couldn't bear it. She couldn't bear the thought of having children just for them to die.
Amy looked up at her from the floor and heaved a sigh. She had a point, God did she have a point, but it was so defeatist that it got under her skin and itched like some skin disease. "You're right... so maybe it is better you're annulled." She bit her thumb in thought, mulling things over. "So, what, you're just going to raise it alone?"
Nana took a seat on the couch, running her fingers through her short hair. "I suppose I will... I'm sure they'll pair me again some day." Lord. "But until that happens I wouldn't mind raising the baby on my own. My mother's said she'd help, anyways."
"That's good. That you'll have your mom. And you'll always--" she dragged herself up from the floor to sit on the coffee table and hope it wouldn't break under her "--you'll always have me around to lend a hand."
She nodded, then leaned forward to give Amy a hug. "Thank you. It means a lot," she said. She sighed, then, and pulled back. "...This is so strange. Single mothers aren't supposed to happen nowadays." She laughed just a little.
Amy hugged her back, a little stiffly, then let go. "No, they're not. Pregnancies are harder so it's all the more important you have someone to help... have you told your doctor friend? He might be able to give you advice, if nothing else."
"You and my mother are the only people who know so far," she said, frowning. "I feel... strange talking to Gil about it. I will, though, just... I don't know." She didn't like the idea of talking to her former lover about how she was having another man's baby and they weren't married any more. None of it was objectionable or indecent, but she still felt awkward... Part of her was regretting not pushing the matter of marrying him. There was a tiny, wistful sigh - She might be pregnant and happy about it now if that had been the way things happened, but it wasn't meant to be and that was life.
"Ah, okay. Well. Don't count on me to push you. I just think you should surround yourself with people who can help. You'll need it." While Amy didn't mean to sound completely cutting and short, she could hear the bite in her words despite her best intentions. For one thing, even when she wasn't supposed to, Nana was beating her at her own game. Marriage first, then this. It wasn't right.
"Mm...." That was just Amy's way of showing she cared, right? That's what Nana always told herself. She nodded. "Thank you..." She reached over and took her friend's hand, squeezing it gently. "It's kind of you to offer to help," she added, tilting her head to one side. "I understand that you're very busy." But how busy could she really be at home, having another woman there to help? She winced slightly and scolded herself on the inside. That was awful, what kind of friend was she?
"It's not that..." Amy bit her lip and rearranged the folds of her skirt around her knees. "It's been very lonely up here. You wouldn't think that, right? With me working with my husband and having another woman involved?" She smiled and shook her head. "Never mind, that's not important. You want to go freshen up? The bathroom's that way..."
Nana was surprised to hear that. Amy had sounded so happy and... proud of her current situation. She nodded slowly, then stood up. "Okay. Do you need to talk about anything...?" She had come here to talk to Amy about her own problems, but couldn't bear the idea of letting her friend be upset without offering to at least be a sympathetic ear.
"No, it's fine. It's okay," Amy assured her quickly. She wasn't about to wash her laundry in public, even with a friend. These problems would work themselves out in time. And Nana's were so much bigger right now.
Nana hesitated for a moment. "Okay... You know where to find me if you need to talk..." She went inside the bathroom and shut the door softly, then took a deep breath as she regarded herself in the mirror. Amy was a wonderful friend to be so supportive...
Left alone, Amy looked around the living room and over the couch with its cushions slightly lopsided for having been sat on. The tissue box moved from the center of the table. Annoying. She resisted the urge to fix any of it and pondered instead what to do about Nana's 'situation'. What would Sarah do? Tell her not to worry and take it easy. Well, wouldn't that be helpful advice at a time like this.