Daniel (danhoffman) wrote in neogenesisrpg, @ 2009-02-27 02:53:00 |
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Entry tags: | dan hoffman, jason song |
Who: Dan Hoffman, Jason Song
What: Life in shades of morally gray (the morning after the night before)
When: Tuesday morning
Where: Dan's place.
Rating: PG-13
Status: Complete
Jason awoke early, usually when he slept over at Dan's place the other would be awake and out of bed before he even stirred. Jason broke into a smile, so Dan wasn't lying when he said he snored. Noting the absence of daylight filtering in, he reasoned it was too early to get out of bed.
He curled up on his side and rested his cheek against Dan's shoulder. Now that he was awake, it was nearly impossible for him to fall asleep again. It wasn't so much the snoring, his family had teased him in the past that he could sleep through anything, but his mind was still filled with restless thoughts born from the events of the previous evening.
After possibly an hour of just laying there, Jason decided he'd get up to make coffee and made an attempt at getting out of bed without waking the other.
It was the kind of thing that could wake a sleeping rabbit from its slumber, but not so much a grown man with a fondness of deep, dreamless sleep, especially in the early hours of morning. But whether or not it was a matter of chance, having Jason stir at the same time as he broke out of a dream was enough to jostle Dan to full consciousness briefly enough to open an eye. The first thing to come into view was Jason's profile - the rest was blurred edges and sleep.
Turning onto his side with difficulty, he threw an arm around the other man's waist. "Stay," he slurred, unwilling to part with the night just yet. After last night, reality wasn't something he was looking forward to revisiting.
"Coffee," Jason whispered as he turned under Dan's arm to face him, "but I can stay here. Hi. Didn't mean to wake you."
Jason smiled warmly and hooked an arm over Dan's side. "You're right about the snoring, by the way."
"Mmhmm," he slurred, the words registering but the meaning following a little late. Jason had that power over him and what he didn't, that pleasant state between wakefulness and sleep compensated for quite amply.
Nuzzling his cheek, he murmured: "What about snoring?" Like being like this was natural. Like they did it all the time. After last night, maybe they should - what did they had to hide from?
"You said you snored, and you're right," Jason answered teasingly as he carded his fingers through sleep flattened hair. "Now I see why you're always up before me, that is so not sexy..."
"Oh no," he chuckled dully, "you know my deepest, darkest flaw. The horror." He patted a hand against his shoulder. "Or maybe I'm always up before you because you're impossible to wake. Believe me, I've tried."
"I believe you, I think if I was sleeping in a house that was on fire I still wouldn't wake up...that's probably not healthy. I need to sleep more." Jason concluded with a nod, he smiled and pursed his lips together. "You still haven't told me why I needed to stay, I was going to make you coffee."
Dan tilted his head so what light filtered from outside could shine on Jason's face unhindered. "Cause I don't want coffee? It's too early to wake up."
"You're not awake? You didn't tell me you talked in your sleep too," Jason laughed softly and tapped a finger against Dan's lips, "I've been awake, you need to catch up."
"Well, I must be dreaming," Dan pointed out, stretching his arms above his head in an effort to loosen his limbs. "You're here and you're not vanishing into smoke. I'm still getting used to that."
"Getting used to me not vanishing into smoke?" Jason smiled and rubbed a hand along the older man's shoulder. "Does that happen a lot? I always thought of myself as corporeal..."
"It's more symptomatic of dream and fantasy-you rather than real-you," Dan explained with a sheepish grin. "You're pretty corporeal. And sturdy. You clocked me one last night in your sleep."
"I did not!" Jason gaped at him, while he did have a habit of moving around in his sleep, he had never heard of being that restless of a sleeper. "Was that why you tried to wake me? If I really did hit you, I'm sorry."
"I thought you were having a nightmare," Dan defended. "Okay, or maybe a good dream. I just wanted to partake." And he'd gotten a punch to the sternum for his efforts. "Don't worry, it was well deserved."
"Which was it? A nightmare or a good dream? It couldn't have been both, or I would have remembered." Jason retorted, not bothering to check for any bruising, even in sleep his odds of hitting anyone hard enough to leave a mark was fairly law. "You didn't deserve getting hit."
"I don't know," Dan laughed, fitting their palms together. "I was hoping you'd tell me. For your sake, I hope it was a good dream." There had been moaning and tossing and turning, that was as much as he recalled. "You're not usually so fitful."
"I don't remember it, but it was probably a bad one," Jason answered honestly, inching his palm a bit so he could link their fingers together. "If it was a good dream, you'd know. I'm sure I wouldn't hit you if I was having a good dream."
"I think the hitting was accidental more than premeditated," Dan noted and smiled as their fingers intertwined. "Next time, I'll have a stick handy to poke you with. That way I'll be out of your reach."
"You really wouldn't have to move that far to avoid getting hit," Jason chuckled softly and pulled himself closer to brush his lips against Dan's cheek in a fleeting kiss, "unlike you, I wasn't gifted with long limbs. My reach only goes so far."
"Yes, I can see that," he chuckled and turned to pull Jason closer to him. They were wasting time, but the morning was theirs and after a night like the one they'd had, they deserved the reprieve.
"You'd be blind not to," he nodded faintly, "then again, I've got the market covered on obviousness. I really need to learn subtlety. If that's even possible."
Jason sighed and rested his head against Dan's shoulder. It was easy to let the tension and anxiety from the night before that still nagged at him to fade into the background. With Dan he could relax and be sure that at that moment he was where he belonged. It was a comforting feeling. "I'm surprised, I never thought of you as the waste away the morning in bed type."
"I'm not," Dan countered, speaking to the ceiling because he couldn't see Jason's face. Not that he could bring himself to tell him to move either. This was a too rare comfort. "But I'm making an exception here. Hope you can appreciate the effort involved." He wrapped an arm around Jason's back, just in case the other man got any ideas, and stroked fingers under his shirt. "So I've been thinking..."
"Your sacrifice is very much appreciated," Jason said with a soft smile and pressed a kiss just below his jawbone, "and all the more reason for me to try and convince you to make this exception the rule...that's what I'm thinking. What've you been thinking?"
"Tempting," Dan nodded and moved his hand under his lover's shirt to touch bare skin. "I've been thinking about last night. The things your mother said." It was a touchy subject, but it was best to get it out of the way fast that let it become a pink elephant in their bedroom.
Jason sighed heavily and closed his eyes. Even though he knew they'd have to talk about it eventually, his response was guarded, "which things? She said a lot..." Her angered accusation that he was selfish still stung as much as her turning her back on him.
"The part we can actually change. I think your sister should move in." He shrugged minutely against the sheets. "It would give the appearance that we're together... and you'd have a reason to come see me that's easier to explain."
"I think that would help," Jason agreed quietly, "at least Jae-Mi being married to you. I don't think any reason I can come up with to see you is going to be good enough...if she'll let me go home, I'm going to get the third degree when I leave no matter where I say I'll go."
He held him tighter. "If she doesn't let you go home, more fool her. You'll just stay and visit your brother in law." It was completely unreasonable, but it mattered only too little. "I want you and I don't want your sister to get in trouble because of me." Nor himself because of her. "I won't give up one for the other."
"She just doesn't understand that. I want to be with you and I want Jae-Mi to be okay. If wanting to be with you makes me selfish, I guess I am." Jason smiled wryly, "Brother in law, it's such a joke."
"Sometimes you have to be selfish," he commented weakly, aware that it wasn't what Jason needed to hear. "We'll figure something out. But I wanted you to know. If your sister is anything like your mother I'll probably need backup."
"You'll need me to run interference," Jason agreed, "she's like mom, even though she won't admit it. They're both very set in their ways, and really hard to deal with if things don't go the way they want them."
"Charming," he sighed, thankful that at least he knew what to expect this time. He hadn't foreseen May's resistance and look where that got them. He cupped the back of Jason's neck and sighed. "Thank you."
"Jae-Mi already knows about us, and she's okay with it. She'll be nicer to you than mom. I think you'll like her, I hope." Jason mirrored his lover's sigh, "Thank you for what?"
"Playing mediator," he answered, kissing the top of his head. "It'll make things easier on everyone, but you don't have to." Knowing that his sister was more at ease with them being together was but a slight step. Concessions and compromises loomed, like storm clouds.
"I can't help but try, it's what I would have done even if we weren't together," Jason admitted sheepishly, "once I start caring, I can't stop feeling responsible. I just want everything to be okay. With Jae-Mi, with mom, with you..."
Dan clicked his tongue in mock disapproval. "What are we going to do with you? Besides loan you out to the UN, that is. They could use someone on staff who actually gives a damn about people." He carded his fingers through Jason's hair, mussing it up. "Then again, maybe not. They might not give you back again."
"Hey," Jason playfully tapped one hand against the arm attached to the one playing with his hair, and ruffled Dan's hair in retaliation with the other, "no loaning me out to the UN. They might not give me back, and think of what I'd do with myself if I wanted to stay."
Dan laughed, swatting at Jason's hand with little success as he tried to squirm out of his grip and keep the other man trapped all at the same time. "I don't know. What would you do with yourself? Can I get visual aids?"
"One, I'd never sleep. Two, I'd get involved in everything I can. Three, work myself to death." Jason answered with a laugh, the other's attempts at trying to break free and keep him close was incredibly futile. "You don't need visual aids for that."
"Ouch. Those are all fair points. And entirely not what I'd been thinking." He smoothed his palm over Jason's shoulder. "Guess I'll keep you then. No working yourself to death here. Couldn't have that."
"What where you thinking? Now I'm curious," Jason let out another light laugh and let his hand rest against Dan's cheek. "I forgot to mention that I'd still make time to be with you no matter what. But that's a given, I think."
"The UN Council might get jealous," he teased, turning his lips into Jason's palm for a quick kiss. There was something about the way it felt to press his mouth against Jason's skin that he never wanted to forget. "I was thinking you'd get very lonely and bored. And start watching the weather channels."
"I always watch the weather channels, my day hasn't officially started unless I've checked the weather," Jason laughed and made a move to substitute his palm with his lips and kissed Dan softly, "how could I get bored and lonely if you're around?"
"Life of the party, am I?" he laughed, voice an octave lower because no matter how many times it happened, being close elicited a reaction from him. "But that's my point. If you're working for the UN and have access to global weather channels... then you'll never sleep. And you'll be very tired. And distracted." Like he was, alternating between watching Jason's eyes and his lips, trying despite himself to focus on the conversation.
"I'm sure you'd find a way to get me away from the weather," Jason asserted and tilted his head to the side as he watch Dan's eyes. "I can prioritize things. You know, you first, everything else later...it'd be fair."
"You're in college. That's what they teach you, right? Priorities, the benefits of caffeine and... what else? Frat parties?" A finger traced his eyebrow, the purple gone but the veins still standing out angrily under the skin, testimony to what had been done to him.
"Hmm, caffeine, frat parties, and getting laid by sorority girls?" Jason joked with a smile, talking just for the sake of it, "I don't know, I never pay attention to college movies. I already knew about the benefits of caffeine long before college."
"What, your parents just let you poison your way through high school?" Somehow, after what he'd seen of May, he couldn't imagine Jason doing much behind her back. Then again, that was the illusion of every controlling parent. He dropped his hand.
"I picked up the habit when I started working, after dad died," Jason said caressing Dan's cheek with his thumb when the other dropped his hand. "Caffeine is amazing when you need to stretch a day. Right?"
"Better than medication," he nodded, though it was only partly true. Medication had its own uses. "Stims make you loopy in the long run. Caffeine just... gets you addicted. But not all addictions are bad." Take the fact that they were in bed together - that wasn't bad at all even if it went against better judgment.
"Mhmm, you're right, they're not all bad," Jason agreed, "some are in between or subjective. Addictions and medications, I guess. I don't know, I stopped paying attention halfway through."
"I'll try not to be offended," Dan teased. "What's gotten you so distracted, Maestro? Thought you were trying to get me out of bed."
"I'm debating on what the color of your eyes are," Jason stated after a moments thought, "I thought they were green...ish, now they're a really light blue. It's early, I haven't had coffee, I'm easily distracted."
Dan grinned, amused at the honesty and the way Jason's mind worked. "Clearly. When you figure it out, do share with the class." Which wasn't a cue that he should stop or move away. "Never thought I'd enjoy being under the microscope. It's a pleasant surprise."
"I've been trying to figure it out since I met you, I haven't made up my mind yet. Even looking this close," Jason smiled, "I feel the same way whenever I catch you watching me. I start to wonder what you're thinking."
"Unspeakable things," he replied, almost deadpan. Almost, but never entirely serious. "We're perfecting the science of being obviously interested in one another. Not sure how wise that is."
That earned a laugh from Jason, "What happens after the science of being obviously interested in one another? Do we graduate to the science of unspeakable things?"
"Depends on our grade point average," Dan retorted with a snort. "Can't have novices trying unspeakable things. We need to be knowledgeable about body language and non-verbal communication."
"I always stay ahead of the curve, and if I'm falling behind that just means I need to apply myself harder to my studies." Jason stated with a nod, "I'd even make flash cards."
Dan nodded with him. "A hands-on approach might make it easier to grasp certain concepts, though," he suggested, lips quirking into a smile. "Just giving advice here..."
"Well, there's that, I always love to participate in hand-on experiments," Jason worried his lower lip with his teeth before he mirrored his smile, "good advice...I think you'd be the perfect tutor."
Dan watched his mouth work and nodded distractedly. Coming back to himself was remembering they didn't have all day. They probably didn't half a whole hour, let alone that. "I don't want to play games," he murmured, for Jason's ears only.
"Okay, no games," Jason murmured back, still smiling as he leaned in and lightly pressed their lips together, "I'm serious."
"Thank God for that," Dan retorted, slightly breathless, and pressed their lips into deeper contact. He wanted to kiss him properly and he wanted to live this moment, whatever memories and fears it brought to mind.
Jason pulled himself closer as the kiss deepened, his lips parted as he inhaled. He kissed him slowly, clearly in no rush to pull away. He could pretend they had all the time in the world at least.
Dan mirrored his pace, not trying to match so much as follow the other man's lead. It was easier and safer to put himself in Jason's hands, for all that they joked about playing tutor.
Though the pace of the kiss was slow, the passion behind it merely intensified. Jason dragged the tips of his fingers along the back of Dan's neck and along his shoulders. He broke the kiss for a brief moment, watching the other man as he considered what he'd do next.
There was a pause and Dan took advantage of it to reach for Jason and pull him closer. Fingers tangled in his shirt as it rode up over his back and the sheets pooled lower down his legs than before. It wasn't that he didn't feel it - he did - but he didn't care. He heard the swish as the covers slid to the ground and ignored it. Being with Jason overrode all that.
Jason's lips briefly brushed against his lover's lips as he kissed a trail to one of Dan's ears. He was familiar enough to know that kissing there brought about a favorable response. With Dan holding him close, his hands were free to roam across Dan's torso, mapping the muscles beneath his skin with his fingertips and noting how his body responded to his touch.
They hadn't been together often enough times to make this rote and Dan wasn't sure it would ever really become habitual, because every time he had to cling to the hope that it could - would - last. Their stolen moments. Shivering under Jason's lips, he made his approval known with words and touches, hands trailing to grasp a sharp hipbone.
Jason's hands mimicked the movements of his lovers, his hands grasping at Dan's waist to compensate for shorter arms, Jason following his lead as much as the other man was allowing him to set the pace. Jason kissed his way back to Dan's lips, and hooked an ankle against Dan's calf to keep balanced as he pulled his body closer.
Jason's movement brought their hips into harsh contact, reminding him of what it felt to want. Dan arched into the touch, lips stuttering a ragged 'please'. He wasn't sure what he was asking for or why he felt Jason was in any position to grant him relief, but there it was, plain and scattered and nervous.
He shifted his hips, instinctively moving towards him. Jason wasn't entirely sure what Dan was asking for except that the other wanted him. Desire was clear in his ragged breath, flushed skin, and the tight hold of his hands against Jason's body.
Dan kissed his cheek, the corner of his lips and drew the other man over him fully. Or attempted to. Little leverage made for little success and he caught himself laughing through harsh pants, leaning his forehead against Jason's.
Jason smiled and echoed Dan's laugh, and he slid his hands to Dan's shoulders. He moved until he was over him, straddling his hips. He placed a clumsy kiss against his lips and breathed out a quiet, "okay?"
"Very okay," Dan murmured with a half-grin, settling his hands on Jason's hips. Their relationship had moved in fits and starts, two steps forward for every ten they took back, but it did move forward. Sometimes faster than they were either prepared for it to.
Pressing a hand over Jason's, he tugged the other man close, fitting their lips together.