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[11 Jul 2014|03:32am] |
Can't wait til this thing is over, bloody hell. I occasionally wonder if things could have happened differently for me and Tony. Like if I hadn't been in an impatient mood or tired that time in Russia, or if he hadn't been a wanker sometimes. Or if he hadn't already belonged to someone at the time. I hated myself for even giving in at the end, though I'm also glad I walked out when I came to my senses early on. He had a girl already and it's not in my nature to mess with that. I regret having any part of that mess.
But he's.. Tony, and you know, he can be a bit But he's Tony and he's good at charm and persuasion, and smart. And he looks fit too. Though sometimes I wonder if some of the random facts or philosophical insights or lessons or whatever is nonsense talk that just sounds good. But he also has been there for helping a friend. As I was for him, to help him get better after his bus accident, as Sid was when he visited him in the hospital constantly. I had even helped him write his own name. He's not so bad now. Actually a little better, though I've had a dream now and then that played out differently in that trip. But that's only a dream, we'd all moved on from it and went on to more important things.
Also used to be sort of a player in school. Some of them I was involved with, we didn't much know the other's name. Not so much anymore, though. I like to know them for a while first. And for us to have more in common than just good looks, more personal, similar hobbies and goals, watch favorite movies, stuff like that. Maybe a fling once in a great while from a club might be alright, but what I'd really like is to meet someone special for me. Who knows, maybe I'll meet them when training for a dance solo or after finishing an art class, or something. Most important thing in my mind though is that whatever career path I choose, my parents will be proud of me wherever they are. They told me that being successful at what I do is good but that it should also be something I also enjoy too. And I am. I just wish all my friends were here to see that.
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[11 Jul 2014|06:59pm] |
[Scott, Stiles & Deaton]
Full moon tomorrow night. We're giving it a try, right?
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[11 Jul 2014|07:16pm] |
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I'm telling the honest truth and I haven't insulted anyone yet. I count this as a small victory. Thank god Elizabeth is still a baby, though, or I'd be afraid of saying something that would scar her for life.
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