InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Vanille, go fish!"

Cav liked to think that he could leave work and turn his brain off from everything happening at Portree, but that wasn't the case. Sometimes it even kept him up at night. He wouldn't admit that though. Well, he might, if only because it would show how much he cared about his job.

It was mid-afternoon when he went off to find Bart, thought it was past time for them to have a quick one on one about how everything was settling in now that Ellie was back. He found him in the office they'd thrown together for him and knocked on the door lightly. "Got a minute?"

"Come on in and let's talk." Bart looked like nothing so much as his old self except for the fact that he wasn't in the coach's office. He was sitting in a chair, his feet up on the table, with three different sets of parchments on his legs. The little parchment figures he used to emulate plays in the air were scattered around the conference table. Some of them appeared to be the same ones he'd used for older players like Meaghan and Maddie. "What's on your mind?"

Cav smiled at the set up and rubbed his hands against his pants. "Just thought I'd check in, see how you're doing, if there's anything I can do for you." Best to start out small, see if Bart had something to talk about, before bringing anything up on his own.

"I think I have a handle on most of it. Other than figuring out what I'm supposed to be doing with MacFusty. The coach, not Lorna; she's still rock solid." Bart said this with an admiration that someone who didn't know how much in love he was with Kirsten might mistake for romantic. "I have the Parkinson end of Scrimmy and Parkinson handled, and I have a line on how to reassure Scrimmy. But that may have been bollixed royally by this thing with Willison going back to Australia. Do we have anything in the pipeline for that?"

Cav sighed. He didn't know what to do with Ellie either but that was probably obvious. The worst part was that no matter what he did, it seemed like he was wrong. He had no control over her and part of him just wanted to set back and watch her self-destruct because he sure as hell wasn't going to do it for her. She didn't want his help, no matter what she claimed, that he didn't give her any support or other shite. "Too many conflicting personalities on the team," he said. "It's shite, really."

He rubbed his chin. "Goal is to have her back by the Harpies match, but that's going to depend on what happens with her family. Ellie will work with the reserves to get someone ready in the meantime."

"MacFusty can handle getting Urquhart ready but we need to have some names ready for ownership if Willison's not coming back. And I don't know from Muggle accidents, but I do know from leaving players. Willison's not coming back," Bart said.

He sighed and finished righting himself, having distributed his stacks of paper as he and Cav were talking. "I don't like it, but that's the problem with foreign players. They go home at the drop of a major family emergency. So think about that, because even if we promote Urquhart the younger to the front line, we still need a backup for playoffs and the Neep. What else you got for me?" It was Bart's way, to leap in straight for the problem, identify it, and if possible, solve it.

"I always have a list of players to reach out to," Cav said, "so that won't be a problem at all." He hesitated a little bit. "I think the bigger problem is Ellie. I never thought sending her away would 'fix' anything. But the fact is, I don't know what to do about her. How's it been working with her on your end?"

"She doesn't know where she sits and neither do it. Technically I'm not here to coach, though depending on how things went in Vienna, I was aware I might have to, and not just for one game, either. What Graham really needs, apart from having a backup who can coach if MacFusty proves out too sick or whatever to handle it, is to figure out what's going on with the team. Which I agreed to do in part because I should have handled things better on my departure."

Bart sighed. "I think MacFusty--Ellie--is just angry, and I think she wants answers neither one of us have to give about how you jump from playing to administration. That's something you have to work out for yourself. And it's different depending on how you left the pitch, too." Bart could have recovered from his last playing injury but had chosen to walk away. Cav's career had been short, which didn't mean he wasn't attached to it so much as that he hadn't lived the quidditch life the way Ellie had. Neither of them had the same problems with moving to administration that Ellie, who'd tried desperately to stay longer than she should have, seemed to have. "So it's not going well, but it's not going terribly, either."

Cav was just tired of being blamed for Ellie's problems. He agreed with Bart otherwise though, and he nodded. "Not going terribly is better than it going terribly," he pointed out, crossing his arms and rubbing up his upper arm for a moment. "How are you getting on with the players then, too? Any problems besides the Scrimmy and Parkinson one?"

"Meaghan and Scrimmy are angry that I'm here because they think MacFusty hung the moon and stars. Meaghan is what she is," and it was no secret to Cav that having played the same position in very different ways, Bart and Meaghan had clashed over the years and wouldn't entirely welcome Bart's return "so Scrimmy is the one I worry about. I didn't understand initially that 'Ellie's got problems' meant 'Ellie's been hitting half the people on the team and in administration' but now I see that and it worries me."

Bart picked up a clipping from one of the files he'd been looking at. "I've read up on what's going on with the team--I asked Peggy to send me some clips from the Prophet--and I see that she's been holding the line but there are a lot of mentions of alcohol and violence in the press. Like Scrimmy one-punching some bloke in a shawarma shop and Joy and Meaghan getting into it over Kirley Duke." His lips twisted a little and he tossed the clipping back on the pile it had come from. "So it's spreading in the team. Meaghan's on the back half of her career. She's not reformable. But Scrimmy's a kid and if she gets too wild, she won't be able to find a place to play. Except maybe the Falcons. So she's going to need a lot of shepherding and she's not going to get it from Ellie.

"Worst thing is, apparently what she's scared of is being replaced by a foreigner, and--was it your idea, Cav? To bring in Parkinson?" This was something that had been niggling at Bart for a while. "Or was that direction you got from Ellie?"

"I don't really see what Scrimmy's got to be worried about. Parkinson's not in her position. She's in her position. That's what I tried to tell her. If she keeps playing the way she's playing, she's fine. But they've all got to get this problem with punching things and people under control. The fighting, physically, I mean. I don't know what to do about all of that." He scratched his jaw and made a face when Parkinson coming on the team was brought up again. "That was Ellie's direction. She wanted to bring in a surprise or somewhat, I don't know. He's a good seeker. He just hasn't got a clue how to work with these women on the Pride." He paused a moment. "He was on my longlist - I always keep international players on the list. Usually easier to bring them in at the last minute than to manage a trade. But there were others on the list too that we could have gone with."

"They all have to be able to work together. Look at Wasps v Catapults: Fofana had some real brass bollocks to wait that out and let Flitney get his goal in so they could win it. Staying in your own lane is where you start but the team has to work together if they want to be on top. If we're going to keep the Neep, we all have to be on the same page of the book. And I can't exactly explain why--" which clearly troubled Bart "--but I know the fear Scrimmy has is directly related to bad habits she's getting from Ellie.

"Which is not on you, Cav, because even if you've made some decisions that you could have made better, you're not responsible for everything that happens on this team. Are there choices you could have avoided? Sure. Some of them stem from the fact that you're used to working with me and the things I do and how I do them are very different to Ellie. I didn't do enough to make you ready to work with another coach, and that's on me. I'm sorry for that. But a lot of what's going on with Portree is based on Ellie's choices and they're not choices you could have anticipated, Cav. I wouldn't have either."

Cav slouched a little. "I tried talking to Scrimmy and I agree she's got bad habits that aren't getting any better. She doesn't see the need for teamwork, just wants to do her job and not worry about anyone else's. Which you and I both know is the wrong way to do it. In particular, she has no use for seekers. Or maybe just him, I don't know." He rubbed his face and sighed. "For the record, I don't think these tactics Ellie is using to promote teamwork are working." Especially this dragon reserve nonsense, but he didn't bring it up. It didn't work last time, so why would it now.

"I'm not blaming you either, got it? Not your job to train anyone when you retire." Cav paused a moment. "The real issue is that I don't think she wants to change the way she coaches, even though I think it's connected to everything else going on with her. And the other issue is, I can be hands off like I was with you, but the moment I try to be hands on, she lashes out." He scowled. "I'm rooting for her. I wouldn't have fought for her then or now if I didn't want her to succeed. I'm just beginning to think she isn't going to succeed."

Bart leaned forward, because this was one of the roots of the problems at Portree: the collapse of the relationship between Ellie and Cav. And it had to work on both sides for it to be whole. "Tell me why you think that, Cav, because I wonder too, and I want to know what you're seeing. I want you both to succeed and I need your help to make that happen."

That took Cav off guard. He had to think for a moment on it, choosing carefully how he wanted to answer it. Not because there was a right or a wrong way, but more that he wanted to be clear when he explained it. "A lot of people, Ellie included, seem to think that I can't handle her, or manage her. But I don't think it's as cut and dry as that. Since day one, I've let her do her thing and stepped in when I thought appropriate. What I see is someone who has a lot of problems to work through who looks for other people to blame. And I'll be the first to admit that I was willing to be her punching bag, both proverbial and literal, because I thought that's what she needed and it would deflect her anger from the team. But I was wrong and it fucked everything else up."

"So I guess what I'm saying is, I don't think she's going to be successful until she's willing to take direction and react to it in any form other than anger and violence."

Bart nodded his way through Cav's speech because there was a lot there he'd also thought, especially the last bit. "I agree, she has to learn how to take direction and deal with directions she doesn't like without hitting people. 'Disagree and commit anyway' is what Graham likes to say. That's a basic adult life skill and their mum seems to have done all right by Lorna and Luag with it. So I think it's an Ellie issue.

"And the truth is she's gotten worse since she quit playing, but she was rough enough for Falmouth all along," he added, just to be clear on that point. "Here's the thing: it's not on you to manage her personally. It may be that you two can't get along well enough for one reason or another. But that happens in professional quidditch, especially on the management side. I'm bossy and stick my nose in everything. There are managers who couldn't work with me and it doesn't mean they're bad. It just means they and I don't mesh well. If that's true for you and Ellie, it doesn't matter what you do and it's not on you. And I get the feeling you've tried a lot of things."

The problem was, Cav felt like it was his responsibility, that Ellie was. He had gone to bat for her. "I have tried a lot, yes. Tried to redirect her anger through things outside of punching. You may have heard the rumor that I slept with her - I did. It was either that or run the risk of her punching someone else or me. Which she has before. Just - she suggested it and I thought what the hell if I could get her to calm down." He sat back a bit. "Probably not the best idea I've ever had but -" He sighed. "I thought it would help in the moment."

"Fuck or fight, huh?" This clarified a lot of things, and Bart could suddenly see how Cav had ended up in the terrible position he was in. "I have to tell you, Cav, this looks awful to management. I don't want you to sink MacFusty but this is a moment you have to cover your own arse. Go to Graham, meet with him, make it clear what happened, and why, and that you know better than to do it again. And--" Bart held up a finger, "don't dip into the Portree well any more. I know you wouldn't hold it over a player because that's not how you are, but this year has bollocksed up everything and there's no more room for error. Not for MacFusty, and unfortunately not for you."

Bart sighed. "So the complete list of people that she hit is getting longer and longer every time I hear it. I know you tried to fix it, but sometimes a player has problems that the coach and the manager can't fix. I had my shot with Ellie MacFusty before, and I didn't see this coming. I coddled her and let her play about a half season too long. So this is on me, too."

Cav tried not to get too defensive in the way he reacted to Bart's suggestion here, so he didn't argue. Instead, he just nodded once and listened to the rest of what Bart had to say. "Honestly, I think what it comes down to, it's her turn to take the blame and make the next move. So what do you suggest we do in the meantime?"

"Play our hands out. Do our jobs, which is easier for you, since you know exactly what you're supposed to be doing. I'm still working that out, other than the part about figuring out what's wrong with the team and how to fix it. Be ready for the next thing." Bart frowned, thinking about that. "I don't know whether Ellie is going to make it or not. I'm not worried about the grip the MacFusty family has on Portree right now, because they can't really push me out with Graham. I can put in a good word for you, but if Ellie keeps scapegoating you and she stays? You're going to have a hard time next year.

"And at this point you may be screwed if Graham gives her the sack, or we call it 'retirement for medical reasons' or whatever bullshit Gwen sells the Prophet on. I like Owen and Lorna and they're good at their jobs, but it's time to unwind the MacFusty stranglehold at Portree. It's too much for anyone who gets on the wrong side of them."

That was all about along the same lines as Cav had been mulling over consistently in the last few weeks. Hearing it come from Bart both made it better and not at all. "Yeah, that sounds about right," Cav said. "I know your role isn't very very well-defined. It was a knee-jerk decision to bring you back, and I know we cut into your retirement, but I do really appreciate you being willing to come do this. It's helping me, at least, and I think it helps the players experience some coaching style besides Ellie's, too."

"Thanks, but a lot of these kids already know me. It's just the young ones and the new ones who don't. And anyway, nobody's role is that well-defined at this point, nor how long it's going to last." He made a face and huffed out a not-quite-sigh. "I guess Kirsten is all right with me deciding to stay on a few months. Now she's getting talked up as a compromise candidate for Scottish Minister." Bart wanted to be supportive, but he'd been looking forward to getting back on the boat by the summer. "Right now, you need to look out for yourself. Portree is in flux and if you're not happy here any more, it could be time to move on. But if you want to stay, you need to be ready to fight for it. Especially if Ellie stays on and wants to hang her problems on your head.

"Don't make any decisions right now," Bart added. "Sleep on it and get an idea of what your gut thinks, as well as your head."

Now that was a surprise to Cav. Though maybe it shouldn't have been one. He hadn't been able to stick anywhere very long over his entire career. Why had he thought that managing like this would be any different. He frowned, briefly. "Yeah, thanks, Bart. Anything you need, you know where to find me. My door's still always open."

Bart nodded. "So's mine. And after Ellie's done with this Hell Week stuff, let's have dinner at the Cove. Who knows, Kirsten might be hiring in a month or two." He poked an index finger playfully in Cav's direction and smiled.