Ellie is supposed to be grown now (![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} lady_dragon) wrote in ![[info]](https://www.insanejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} neeps,@ 2017-12-19 23:34:00 |
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| Entry tags: | ! log, elektra yaxley, elspeth macfusty |
Who: Ellie MacFusty & Lex Yaxley Savage
What: An unexpected pep talk.
When: Sunday, December 17
Where: The Cottage, Montrose area
Warnings: Swearing. Discussion of concussions. More swearing.
Ellie was not going to punch anyone. That would be counterproductive. There was definitely going to be some harsh words, probably some yelling. Surprisingly, the number of things that truly pissed off Ellie were few. However, the biggest was seeing a quidditch player, even a rival be at risk of throwing away their career for being stupid. She was by far not the best adult for any such lectures, but she was pretty good living example of what happened to your career with a series of bad choices around injuries.
It had taken little more than a quick message to Maddock to confirm Lex was still out at The Cottage. Ellie had been making a line straight for the front door, when she caught sight of Lex out by the water. She bit back a snort at how familiar all this was for her, and how often, still, on bad days she sat on the beach near An Nead just staring out at the vast ocean.
Ellie approached not calling out, but not really intending to announce herself until she plopped down. “Want to tell me what the fuck you’ve been thinking?” It was said casually, friendly even. It was as good a greeting as any.
Lex sat on the ground, throwing rocks into the sea, resting her head on her knees. She wasn't dressed for winter, but a warming charm meant the jumper she wore was sufficient. She looked up at the voice, not having heard anyone approaching. Then again, she's been so lost in her thoughts she probably wouldn't have heard a herd of hippogryphs.
"Hmm?" she asked, looking at Ellie.
Ellie was not impressed. Sympathetic to the situation, without a doubt, but she found no amusement. And luckily once she saw Lex’s face, the anger quieted just a little. Because she could, in fact, be an adult and use her words. “The whole ‘might have fucked up’ and not actually cleared, care to elaborate? And if not I can bore you with my own personal horror stories first, but I’ll let you decide.”
"Mungo's released me on Thursday but I'm pretty much on minimal light activity until further notice." Lex traced her finger in the ground. She knew Ellie would understand. It was part of why they had fun off the pitch - and on when they'd played against each other.
Lex heaved out a sigh. "And Friday was the annual 'Fuck it all to hell night on the town.'" There wasn't much more Lex needed to say. You didn't go out to the annual bad decisions party and stay sober. You went to have a good time and forget your troubles. And Lex had wanted to forget all her troubles. "I might have gone overboard Friday night." The tone of her voice made her contrition obvious.
While Ellie had heard about the party in the past and even casually got an invite to this one, she never quite saw the point. Shit. Every night could be that if she wanted. She certainly had near two weeks of it between MacDonald going down and the Fall Classic. “Minimal light activity until symptom free for 24 hours, then to advance a baby step forward, but then all the way back to fuck all nothing the first sight of symptom, sound about right?”
"More or less." Lex turned her head to stare back at her knees, blond curls falling over her face. "I just.. Fuck, Ellie.. I can't even read an issue of Seeker Weekly right now without my head hurting. I don't want to go out like George did…" Even if he was technically just out healing for the season, Lex was pretty sure he wasn't coming back.
“Yeah, well healers are real good at healing bones and bruises,” said Ellie. Bones could be regrown overnight, sure there was rehab, but it was quick. “The brain is apparently a more complicated thing. Especially when you have a bludger making brain mash.” This might not be exactly how it had been explained to her, but she was pretty sure it was close enough. “It needs time to fully heal, and if it doesn’t, well that’s where things get bad.”
“That’s also why you can’t go overboard. Fuck, you’re probably not even supposed to be board.” Ellie paused a beat, hearing herself. “Underboard. Onboard. But boring is right on.”
Lex managed a half smile. Regardless of what the healers said, Ellie's analogy made more sense. She hadn't even seen the bludger that had knocked her off her broom. Brain mash sounded about right for how she was feeling. "Boring is about right. I just.. I hate that there's nothing I can do to help the rehab."
She ran a hand through her hair. "I'm no good at just sitting on my arse and doing nothing."
Ellie let out a long sigh. She picked up a rock, running over the smooth surface in her hands, considering its weight. “That’s the biggest fucking joke of it all.” After tossing it a few times she threw the rock into the water, trying to skip it on the waves.
“I like to claim I can look back at my career and not regret anything. I am the human bludger. Except that’s not the entire truth.” The worst part of being an adult was the self-reflection, but had been thinking about her own injuries too much. “I earned by first big concussion October 1986. I was twenty-three. Really just starting my career. What should have had me back in the game in a month, left me sidelined until Christmas and then traded back to the Cannons to recover. I thought I was invincible. I was wrong. So very wrong.”
If there was a checklist of things you should not do when you had a concussion, Ellie probably did them all. Afterall, what did healers or medics knows? She had been twenty-three and looking back now she knew that was the start of decline.
“After that, every injury, every cranium hit was more of an event, more of a process.” It said nothing to the hit heard round the world against the Falcons in 1993 or the brutal destruction of a career at 1994 Worlds against Luxembourg. “I can’t help but think how my life, my career might have gone differently…”
“And I sure as hell won’t stand to see someone throw their career away the same way I did.” Ellie sighed again, tossing another rock because feelings were hard and she promised herself no punching. “So, yes, it sucks now. The world is dark and gloomy because you have to sit on your arse and do nothing for a few weeks, but just do it, lest you’re ready for a future of only ever getting to watch from the sidelines.”
When Ellie spoke, Lex turned her face back to her to listen, her face still bearing some of the marks of the bludger to the head. She listened with a sad look on her face. After all, Ellie had been her contemporary.
"I'm not twenty-three anymore, though El. I'm turning thirty in a week or two. This might be my last season - for more than one reason." She bit her lip. "Even if I recover from this completely, I'm not sure how much of a future I have.. At least not here."
“Oh fuck off.” That probably wasn’t the right response. “You planning to get up the duff? You want to walk away, then it’s within your right. Bloody stupid, but technically there.” Ellie was forever angry and upset about what Lorna did in 1993 -- they were 30 and 32 respectively. “Urgh. Please don’t be Lorna, she might be a legend, but she was a fucking idiot. Me too, but her especially.”
Lex stared at Ellie in confusion. "What?! Circe's tits, no. I'm married, not mental. Ana's kids are enough for me. And Mel's when he eventually has them. Besides, I am definitely not ready to be a mother."
She chuckled and shook her head. "There are no baby Savage Yaxleys on the immediate horizon. Which is for the best. But no… it's… I'm not sure how many seasons I've got left in me. I always said I'd play till I couldn't.. But.. I can't imagine doing anything besides playing. And someone suggested I walk away now, with my dignity and not being a washed up quidditcher, but I can't do that. But what if that's my best option? El, what if this is just proof that I'm already past my prime?"
The chuckle was also probably not the appropriate response, but when had Ellie ever been appropriate? “Fuck, MacDonald is 37 and out for the rest of the season, but not forever, not if she doesn’t want.” Ellie’s voice even did it’s level best to be steady. “And Lorna is back now, two evil sprogs in tow and almost forty.”
Ellie turned, focusing her gaze on Lex. Yes, all too familiar a place to be in, and Ellie saw herself in Lex the same way she saw herself in all of her players. “El,” she echoed back, “I’m going to say this once. And you’re going to answer honestly, because it’s me: do you think you’re past your prime?”
Lex stared at Ellie, chewing her lip. She didn't say anything for awhile, considering the question.
"I don't know. In terms of playing.. I've still got some in me, provided I come back from this…" She ran her hand. "But it's not just about playing… there's politics too and all that mess."
“Politics?” She made a face at that. Sometimes, it was difficult for Ellie to realize there was a world outside of quidditch and dragons, but most days she could be convinced. “What’s complicated the game so much you’d consider leaving to be the better option?”
"Doesn't matter," she said shaking her head and then holding a hand to it because fuck that was a bad idea. She winced as she clutched her head for a moment. "Just exploring options… "
Ellie frowned and sighed again. She was doing a lot of that today. “What kind of options?” She spoke the words slowly, unsure of where they were going, but needing to know.
"Options I haven't discussed with my own coach, so I probably shouldn't be discussing them with a rival coach.." Lex's fingers searched for another rock to toss into the sea.
“Fine.” Ellie wouldn’t push the subject. It wasn’t her place. But for as into the Montrose and Portree rivalry, the personal lines blurred for her and she she worried about Lex as a friend, rather than a threat or competitor. “But, shit, until you literally can’t sit on a broom without getting sick, don’t ever keep fighting. There isn’t a fucking thing better in the world than getting to play quid. And that includes watching dragonlings hatch.”
“Plus,” she said resisting the urge to bump Lex with her shoulder. “I would be tragically disappointed to see you walk away because you got scared or things got tough.”
Lex wasn't sure what she'd done to deserve a pep talk from Elspeth Fucking MacFusty, but she was grateful for it. She chucked her rock out at the sea, making a face when it sunk instead of skipping across the water. She leaned her head on Ellie's shoulder. "What the fuck do I do until they clear me?"
Ellie wrapped her arm around Lex, pulling them a little closer. For warmth, not comfort. Obviously. “Take up knitting?”
Lex burst out laughing and winced, closing her eyes. And if there was any moisture on Ellie's jacket it was certainly from the sea, and not from tears. "You are absolutely no help." Which was about all the thanks she knew Ellie would accept.
It had taken little more than a quick message to Maddock to confirm Lex was still out at The Cottage. Ellie had been making a line straight for the front door, when she caught sight of Lex out by the water. She bit back a snort at how familiar all this was for her, and how often, still, on bad days she sat on the beach near An Nead just staring out at the vast ocean.
Ellie approached not calling out, but not really intending to announce herself until she plopped down. “Want to tell me what the fuck you’ve been thinking?” It was said casually, friendly even. It was as good a greeting as any.
Lex sat on the ground, throwing rocks into the sea, resting her head on her knees. She wasn't dressed for winter, but a warming charm meant the jumper she wore was sufficient. She looked up at the voice, not having heard anyone approaching. Then again, she's been so lost in her thoughts she probably wouldn't have heard a herd of hippogryphs.
"Hmm?" she asked, looking at Ellie.
Ellie was not impressed. Sympathetic to the situation, without a doubt, but she found no amusement. And luckily once she saw Lex’s face, the anger quieted just a little. Because she could, in fact, be an adult and use her words. “The whole ‘might have fucked up’ and not actually cleared, care to elaborate? And if not I can bore you with my own personal horror stories first, but I’ll let you decide.”
"Mungo's released me on Thursday but I'm pretty much on minimal light activity until further notice." Lex traced her finger in the ground. She knew Ellie would understand. It was part of why they had fun off the pitch - and on when they'd played against each other.
Lex heaved out a sigh. "And Friday was the annual 'Fuck it all to hell night on the town.'" There wasn't much more Lex needed to say. You didn't go out to the annual bad decisions party and stay sober. You went to have a good time and forget your troubles. And Lex had wanted to forget all her troubles. "I might have gone overboard Friday night." The tone of her voice made her contrition obvious.
While Ellie had heard about the party in the past and even casually got an invite to this one, she never quite saw the point. Shit. Every night could be that if she wanted. She certainly had near two weeks of it between MacDonald going down and the Fall Classic. “Minimal light activity until symptom free for 24 hours, then to advance a baby step forward, but then all the way back to fuck all nothing the first sight of symptom, sound about right?”
"More or less." Lex turned her head to stare back at her knees, blond curls falling over her face. "I just.. Fuck, Ellie.. I can't even read an issue of Seeker Weekly right now without my head hurting. I don't want to go out like George did…" Even if he was technically just out healing for the season, Lex was pretty sure he wasn't coming back.
“Yeah, well healers are real good at healing bones and bruises,” said Ellie. Bones could be regrown overnight, sure there was rehab, but it was quick. “The brain is apparently a more complicated thing. Especially when you have a bludger making brain mash.” This might not be exactly how it had been explained to her, but she was pretty sure it was close enough. “It needs time to fully heal, and if it doesn’t, well that’s where things get bad.”
“That’s also why you can’t go overboard. Fuck, you’re probably not even supposed to be board.” Ellie paused a beat, hearing herself. “Underboard. Onboard. But boring is right on.”
Lex managed a half smile. Regardless of what the healers said, Ellie's analogy made more sense. She hadn't even seen the bludger that had knocked her off her broom. Brain mash sounded about right for how she was feeling. "Boring is about right. I just.. I hate that there's nothing I can do to help the rehab."
She ran a hand through her hair. "I'm no good at just sitting on my arse and doing nothing."
Ellie let out a long sigh. She picked up a rock, running over the smooth surface in her hands, considering its weight. “That’s the biggest fucking joke of it all.” After tossing it a few times she threw the rock into the water, trying to skip it on the waves.
“I like to claim I can look back at my career and not regret anything. I am the human bludger. Except that’s not the entire truth.” The worst part of being an adult was the self-reflection, but had been thinking about her own injuries too much. “I earned by first big concussion October 1986. I was twenty-three. Really just starting my career. What should have had me back in the game in a month, left me sidelined until Christmas and then traded back to the Cannons to recover. I thought I was invincible. I was wrong. So very wrong.”
If there was a checklist of things you should not do when you had a concussion, Ellie probably did them all. Afterall, what did healers or medics knows? She had been twenty-three and looking back now she knew that was the start of decline.
“After that, every injury, every cranium hit was more of an event, more of a process.” It said nothing to the hit heard round the world against the Falcons in 1993 or the brutal destruction of a career at 1994 Worlds against Luxembourg. “I can’t help but think how my life, my career might have gone differently…”
“And I sure as hell won’t stand to see someone throw their career away the same way I did.” Ellie sighed again, tossing another rock because feelings were hard and she promised herself no punching. “So, yes, it sucks now. The world is dark and gloomy because you have to sit on your arse and do nothing for a few weeks, but just do it, lest you’re ready for a future of only ever getting to watch from the sidelines.”
When Ellie spoke, Lex turned her face back to her to listen, her face still bearing some of the marks of the bludger to the head. She listened with a sad look on her face. After all, Ellie had been her contemporary.
"I'm not twenty-three anymore, though El. I'm turning thirty in a week or two. This might be my last season - for more than one reason." She bit her lip. "Even if I recover from this completely, I'm not sure how much of a future I have.. At least not here."
“Oh fuck off.” That probably wasn’t the right response. “You planning to get up the duff? You want to walk away, then it’s within your right. Bloody stupid, but technically there.” Ellie was forever angry and upset about what Lorna did in 1993 -- they were 30 and 32 respectively. “Urgh. Please don’t be Lorna, she might be a legend, but she was a fucking idiot. Me too, but her especially.”
Lex stared at Ellie in confusion. "What?! Circe's tits, no. I'm married, not mental. Ana's kids are enough for me. And Mel's when he eventually has them. Besides, I am definitely not ready to be a mother."
She chuckled and shook her head. "There are no baby Savage Yaxleys on the immediate horizon. Which is for the best. But no… it's… I'm not sure how many seasons I've got left in me. I always said I'd play till I couldn't.. But.. I can't imagine doing anything besides playing. And someone suggested I walk away now, with my dignity and not being a washed up quidditcher, but I can't do that. But what if that's my best option? El, what if this is just proof that I'm already past my prime?"
The chuckle was also probably not the appropriate response, but when had Ellie ever been appropriate? “Fuck, MacDonald is 37 and out for the rest of the season, but not forever, not if she doesn’t want.” Ellie’s voice even did it’s level best to be steady. “And Lorna is back now, two evil sprogs in tow and almost forty.”
Ellie turned, focusing her gaze on Lex. Yes, all too familiar a place to be in, and Ellie saw herself in Lex the same way she saw herself in all of her players. “El,” she echoed back, “I’m going to say this once. And you’re going to answer honestly, because it’s me: do you think you’re past your prime?”
Lex stared at Ellie, chewing her lip. She didn't say anything for awhile, considering the question.
"I don't know. In terms of playing.. I've still got some in me, provided I come back from this…" She ran her hand. "But it's not just about playing… there's politics too and all that mess."
“Politics?” She made a face at that. Sometimes, it was difficult for Ellie to realize there was a world outside of quidditch and dragons, but most days she could be convinced. “What’s complicated the game so much you’d consider leaving to be the better option?”
"Doesn't matter," she said shaking her head and then holding a hand to it because fuck that was a bad idea. She winced as she clutched her head for a moment. "Just exploring options… "
Ellie frowned and sighed again. She was doing a lot of that today. “What kind of options?” She spoke the words slowly, unsure of where they were going, but needing to know.
"Options I haven't discussed with my own coach, so I probably shouldn't be discussing them with a rival coach.." Lex's fingers searched for another rock to toss into the sea.
“Fine.” Ellie wouldn’t push the subject. It wasn’t her place. But for as into the Montrose and Portree rivalry, the personal lines blurred for her and she she worried about Lex as a friend, rather than a threat or competitor. “But, shit, until you literally can’t sit on a broom without getting sick, don’t ever keep fighting. There isn’t a fucking thing better in the world than getting to play quid. And that includes watching dragonlings hatch.”
“Plus,” she said resisting the urge to bump Lex with her shoulder. “I would be tragically disappointed to see you walk away because you got scared or things got tough.”
Lex wasn't sure what she'd done to deserve a pep talk from Elspeth Fucking MacFusty, but she was grateful for it. She chucked her rock out at the sea, making a face when it sunk instead of skipping across the water. She leaned her head on Ellie's shoulder. "What the fuck do I do until they clear me?"
Ellie wrapped her arm around Lex, pulling them a little closer. For warmth, not comfort. Obviously. “Take up knitting?”
Lex burst out laughing and winced, closing her eyes. And if there was any moisture on Ellie's jacket it was certainly from the sea, and not from tears. "You are absolutely no help." Which was about all the thanks she knew Ellie would accept.