[Rosier had come slowly to the realization of who he was. He looked at the journals and quietly ignored all the other journals. People had obviously remembered things. He felt vulnerable in the knowledge that other people knew him. Would they remember his true name? He didn't know. If they did...well, it was only a matter of time before his brothers found him. The panic came on slow but coiled tight around his chest and he got up, leaving his study and his work to go to an empty little shack across the fields. It was his place. People could find him there. He knew.
Fuck.
People knew. They'd seen. He couldn't handle that. Not right now. Not around other people. He could barely focus. Once he got to the room, he sat down and started breathing slowly, trying to calm himself, level his emotions and put it all behind him. That was what he would do. He would ignore it. He would ignore all of it.
There was one singular prayer muttered into his knees. His anger with his father was placed aside for that brief moment. The need for guidance was more important and yet he was still angry. He couldn't stop being angry. "You won't help me...even if I need you," he spat before going back to practicing his breathing. He was always better at helping himself. He didn't need anyone else. He closed his eyes. The only good thing he could see right now...was that he was at least spared marriage. Maybe he'd actually partake in the opium. It wouldn't help anything...but at least he wouldn't have to think.]