luke henry ; robin (notjustsidekick) wrote in musingslogs, @ 2011-04-09 02:32:00 |
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Entry tags: | robin, roxanne |
Who: Wren and Luke
What: Reunion + self-defense.
Where: Wren's apartment.
When: Thursday night.
Warnings: None.
Luke was worried, but not for himself. He was worried for Amanda, a baby who was entirely incapable of protecting herself; for Max, who could easily be connected to Thomas and the Bat; for Quinn, who he hadn’t heard from since the night they’d captured Oracle; but most of all he was worried for Thomas. Every criminal in Seattle had reason to want the Bat dead and once the article hit the press they would finally have a target to go after during the day. It was why he hadn’t wanted to leave in the first place, so someone could be there to protect Thomas from bullets and other attempts on his life, and if he could he would’ve followed him around all day as a sort of bodyguard, but he knew Thomas would never have allowed that.
He couldn’t hunt down the reporter and drill some sense into him, not as himself or as Robin, so instead all he could do was wait. The friend he was staying with - James - was a year older and had a hectic schedule between school and his job, but he spent most nights out partying, and he knew nothing about vigilantes or secrets. Luke simply told him that he needed a temporary place to stay until he found a place of his own and was willing to pay his share of the rent. He didn’t like potentially placing someone in danger, but at least James didn’t have a workshop in his apartment or kevlar in his closet.
Though he was still torn between the lingering hurt of Wren’s departure and relief that she was back, the bottom line was that Luke had missed her and he did want to see her. He found the address early and scoped out the area, a dark shadow on a rooftop, but once ten o’clock came he was at the window - open, just as she’d said - and let himself in.
Wren was worried he wouldn’t come. She was worried for the same reason that she’d been worried about contacting him - no matter what he said, she knew she’d messed up by leaving him and Quinn behind.
She had spent two months in Nevada trying to convince herself it was better, that she needed to look out for herself, that watching Luke with Quinn was more than she could handle. She tried to logic away the fear she felt when Quinn was missing, and she tried to pretend she hadn’t done all the terrible things she’d done to try to find her friend. But those things didn’t go away, and she was pretty sure they never would. She thought of them every night when she crawled into bed, and she thought of them every day when she woke up. And being in Nevada didn’t make anything better. She still checked the Seattle news every day, looking for some indication of what was going on, some idea of how her friends were. Luke was easier to keep track of, appearing in tabloids pretty much every day. But she could catch a glimpse of Quinn in his shadow every so often, too.
She got off stage early that night, and she returned to her room and changed into a borrowed pair of jeans (she only owned dresses and skirts of her own) and a gray t-shirt. She tugged her hair back into a ponytail, and she slipped on sneakers, and she kept herself from pacing as she waited, even though she very much wanted to. The sound of a woman singing was audible in her rooms, something low and slow and sultry, and Wren was in the open door to the hall listening when the window opened.
She closed the door, even as she turned to look at him, and she stared a minute before rushing across the room and hugging him tightly.
Luke only had a second to take in the way the room looked before he caught sight of Wren in the doorway, and he stared without being able to come up with something to say. When she’d left it had been so sudden and unexpected that it took him a couple days for it to sink in, and after that he hadn’t expected to ever see her again. It was actually a good thing that she hugged him first, since his awkward silence would have lasted a few more minutes otherwise.
There were certain people he couldn’t seem to stay mad at, and Wren was one of them. He hesitated for a moment before returning the hug, unable to keep from giving her a quick once-over to make sure she was okay and hadn’t actually returned because something terrible happened to her. “Hi,” he said after a pause, pulling back slightly. “You look… good.” In that same-yet-different sort of way people looked when you hadn’t seen them in a while.
It felt good, the hug, better than anything had since she’d left Seattle, and she was smiling when he pulled back slightly. She looked him over in turn, from the top of his head to the toes of his shoes, and her perusal was slower than his. “You look different than in the online Tumblrs and tabloids,” she said with her normal candor, not holding back the thought. “Real, and not like a celebrity so much,” she added, and it was a compliment, obvious in the warm smile she gave him and the way her gray eyes glistened. She gave him one more, quick hug, and then she moved back entirely, not wanting to make him uncomfortable.
She motioned around the large room after. “It’s bigger than Hamartia,” she said, because she’d seen him looking before she’d crossed over to him. “And it doesn’t have bad memories,” she added, the butterflies in her stomach calming the more seconds that passed.
“Has anything been published yet?” she asked, because that was really her biggest worry for him right then. She’d been thinking about it after they’d finished talking on the forums, and it sounded more dangerous the longer she concentrated on it.
“I’m not really the celebrity type,” he said with a small laugh. “I bet people are always disappointed when they meet me in person for the first time.” Luke did his best to stay out of the spotlight, but sometimes it was unavoidable. He didn’t mind the hugs since they were reassurance that she was actually there, but he let her step back and resumed his inspection of the room instead. “It’s nice. I’m glad you found someplace without any… bad memories.”
Luke inhaled sharply and shook his head. Waiting was agonizing, but once it came out things were only going to get worse. “Not yet. It’s just a matter of time now.” The worry was clear in his expression, since there was no positive spin to put on the problem. “I’m worried about what’s going to happen,” he admitted. “A lot of people want the Bat dead, and once this article gets published they’ll have a name to go after. It won’t matter if there’s solid proof or not.” He hated unloading his problems onto her when he’d just found out about her return, but with Quinn out of contact he had no one else to express his concerns to.
When he mentioned a lot of people wanting the Bat dead, Wren nodded honestly. “I was thinking about that after we talked,” she admitted, “that once that story gets published it’s going to be really dangerous. Not just for you, but for him and for anyone else close to him. If he’s still going to go to work and do what he normally did, it’s almost for sure someone will try to hurt him,” she said, even though it wasn’t the most reassuring thing; it was the truth. “Does he have a plan, other than splitting up?” she asked.
She opened the door, glancing left and right down the empty hall, and then she motioned him to follow. No one lived back in this part of the club but her, and though the music was audible it sounded far away and like something in a different place altogether. She led him down to the basement, where the floor was lined and there were mirrors along the walls. “The girls use this for practice, for their numbers,” she told him. “I figured it might be a good place to practice.”
Luke shook his head, a hint of bitterness mingling with the worry. “If he has a plan, he hasn’t mentioned it to me.” A small part of him wondered if Thomas would end up leaving the city if things got really bad, but he didn’t want to think about that. He still thought they should have done more to try to stop the reporter from publishing his article in the first place. “Max is staying with her sister, but they’d still be targets. And Amanda, she’s just a baby,” he said in frustration, forgetting that Wren had left before she was born. “That was why I didn’t want to leave. I figured if something happened, at least I could try to be there.”
He waited until she motioned him forward to move, eyeing the hallway warily and attempting to separate other noises from the music as he followed her into the basement. The space was big enough for their purposes, and the mirrors could prove useful too. He’d never actually tried teaching anyone what he’d learned yet, but if he could catch on abnormally fast then maybe he wouldn’t end up being half bad as a teacher either. “Yeah, this is good.” Luke glanced around and nodded to himself. “Okay, so you want to learn defensive moves rather than offensive, right?” There was a difference between what he did at night and merely defending against an attacker.
She kicked off her shoes as she listened to him. “Amanda?” she asked. She hadn’t heard the name, and she only vaguely knew that Thomas had been seeing someone before she’d left. She thought about what he said, about his concerns, and she noted the bitterness in his voice. It made her think about all the time she’d worried about him, about how he seemed to be slipping further and further into something dark, and she realized that hadn’t stopped just because she hadn’t been there to see it. She had a small spike of anger at Quinn, but it was gone as quick as it came; her friend couldn’t help who she was, not anymore than anyone could. “You could refuse,” she suggested. “I think he respects you more than you think. Have you tried talking to him about it? Making a stand, maybe? It seems like a bad idea, leaving him all alone when he’s going to be the main target. And if this Max and her sister don’t know how to fight, them being by themselves might not be so good either.” She wondered, like she always did, about the decisions other people made, about why they made them. “Do you think he’s just doing it to keep you safe?”
She shook out one foot and then the other, and she pulled the balisong from her pocket and sent it flying with perfect accuracy into the center of an old, stuffed chair in the corner. “I’m okay if I can do that. It’s if they get close that I’m in trouble,” she explained, rocking on her socked feet as she looked at him.
He resisted the urge to start pacing and stood still, leaning back against the wall and removing his own shoes. Tonight he wasn’t in full Robin regalia, since it seemed unnecessary for this.. “Yeah… Amanda. Thomas’ daughter. Max is her mother.” Luke figured that was a basic enough explanation, since he didn’t feel like getting into the details of what constituted as their relationship. Half the time he didn’t even understand it himself. “I tried refusing. Maybe I should have tried harder… but he says we need multiple locations.” He shrugged. “Maybe he’s trying to take the focus off of us and put it on himself. If we’re not with him, they might not come after us? I don’t know.” He didn’t, really, because Thomas never explained himself. If he did have a plan they’d all find out about it too late. “If things get bad, I’ll go back. I won’t leave him alone while people are trying to kill him, even if he doesn’t want me there. Max can take care of herself and Audrey, but it’s still going to be dangerous.”
Luke followed the knife’s path into the chair with an incredulous look, and it was clear that he was impressed. “Wow.” He turned to face her, rubbing his hands together thoughtfully. “Right, so we’ll start with weak spots. You want to buy yourself time to get out of the situation.” The more time that passed, the worse things could get. He pointed them out on himself, just as Thomas had. “Solar plexus, obviously. Hollow of the neck, groin, top of the foot – then you get to the face. Eyes are a good spot. Bridge of the nose, jaw, temple, and underside of the chin. Now, obviously it’ll be easier if you’re facing your attacker, but he might be behind you. We’ll start with the front, though.” He paused. “You want to be close. He’ll be able to react faster and potentially get the upper hand if you’re too far away.” He paused again, just to make sure he wasn’t rambling and losing her completely.
“I think you should do whatever you think is right,” she said, regarding the situation with Thomas. Her expression softened into a soft smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you make a wrong choice when you went with your gut, and I think you’re kind of amazing at doing the right thing. Just be true to what you think, and if he doesn’t understand, keep saying it until he does.” She really did believe Luke could do anything he wanted to. It was the direct opposite of her confidence in herself. She could stand up for other people without batting an eyelash, unconcerned of the consequences, but she couldn’t reach out and take what she wanted, no matter how much she wanted it. The boy across from her was a perfect example of that.
She listened to everything he said, her attention focused. She had decided to ask him for his help out of necessity, but the longer he talked, the more interested she was in the lesson. She didn’t have any ability that helped her learn, but what he said all made sense, and she nodded when he said she wanted to be in front. She moved close, like he said, and she gave him an apologetic smile in advance. “Am I allowed to apologize in advance for hurting you?” she asked, because everything he suggested sounded like it would hurt if she managed to do it right.
“You still have too much faith in me,” he said, shaking his head and unable to keep back a small smile. Here he was, wondering if he was doing the right thing by leaving but unsure of whether staying would be better, but instead of lecturing him Wren simply put her faith in his abilities instead. It was almost daunting, that kind of trust, but it was far from unwelcome. “I’ll see how things go.”
Luke was relieved that she didn’t look confused or even annoyed, because the last thing he wanted was to do this wrong and have her end up paying the price for his poor teaching skills. “You can, but it’s okay. At least I know you won’t try to kill me.” He demonstrated how to properly close her fist but didn’t show her how to actually hit, not yet, since he wanted to see how she did on her own first and then correct any mistakes. A palm strike would be useful for the face, especially the nose, but he’d get to that later. “Okay. Try hitting me here,” he said, indicating his solar plexus. In a real situation her attacker wouldn’t just stand there, but it was a start.
She ducked her head when he smiled, and she didn’t argue with him about the amount of faith she had in him. There were very few things she was sure of, but his goodness was one of them, even with the dark she knew was in him now. It didn’t change her faith in him, and so she just nodded at his statement of waiting to see how things went.
She closed her fist when he demonstrated, which seemed easy enough, and she didn’t argue about hitting him, either. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she did want to learn, and she was pretty sure she couldn’t do any significant damage, at least not with her hand. She made a novice fist, the kind that would get her thumb broken without her knowing it if it was a real fight, and she threw a punch with her arm and no body weight behind it whatsoever. She shook her hand immediately after, shaking out the sting of the hit, and she looked at him and smiled sheepishly. “I think I hurt me more than you,” she said, but there was a touch of soft laughter in the admission, and she closed her hand in a fist to try again, making the same mistakes when she closed her fingers.
Luke wasn’t expecting her technique to be right, so he wasn’t surprised when she threw the punch like a novice would have. In the grand scheme of things the hit barely even stung, and he couldn’t help smiling afterward. “That happens sometimes. First thing – you need to fix your fist.” He demonstrated with his own hand first, curling his fingers inward and showing her where to place her thumb. “If you keep it inside the fist, like you were, you’ll end up breaking your thumb. You need to put your weight behind you punch too – try standing like this.” Once again he demonstrated a basic fighting stance, going through the motions of throwing a proper punch. “It’s more effective when you have your weight behind it, see?” He relaxed his posture and grinned at her. “Now try again.”
She did try again, and this time the punch landed sound against his chest, and it didn’t hurt her at all. The weight behind it helped, and even she could feel the difference the impact made. She pulled her hand back immediately, apologetically, and then she rubbed where she’d hit him. “Sorry,” she said sheepishly, but then she smiled proudly. “That wasn’t bad, was it?” she asked, a little bit of new faith in herself in the question. She didn’t wait for an answer to try it again, this time on his upper arm, and she smiled more certainly after, even as she rubbed apologetically again. “That feels good. You know? Being able to hit someone and feel it make an impact.” She’d never hit anyone in her life, and it was obvious.
Having braced himself for the likelihood that this hit would be more effective than the previous one Luke’s only outward reaction was a quick exhale of breath. Compared to someone who intended serious bodily harm this was actually a relief. “That was a lot better,” he told her, his tone mirroring the pride in her smile. The second punch was a surprise, but he laughed off the brief sting and held his hands up in a mock expression of surrender. “Don’t rough me up too much or you’ll have to find another teacher.” Luke knew too well how good it could feel, and he also knew how easy it was to translate that feeling into an outlet for frustration and anger. “I know,” he nodded, “but just… be careful. Sometimes it feels too good.” It wasn’t the most eloquent way to describe it, but he hoped Wren would know what he meant.
He hesitated before asking his next question. “Do you want a comm, or… no? I could get you one if you do.”
She understood what he meant, and she stopped her hand in mid flight to his other shoulder. “Do you want to do that a lot?” she asked, meaning hurt people. There was an understanding in the question. “When I was marking them - you know, the men - I knew I could kill them, but when they were quiet like that I couldn’t.” She shrugged a little, like it was a silly thing, not wanting to hurt someone who had hurt someone else. She knew, too, that he had a lot of anger that had been building since he’d been kidnapped and maybe before. She knew how helpless felt, too, and when she threw the punch to his other shoulder it was all softness in the technique, practice and no sting or anger. “I have nightmares a lot lately,” she said, and it was strange, talking about herself, “about that warehouse. And I have trouble with really loud noises. I kind of freeze up,” she explained, motioning with her hand to her head, indicating the bag that had been kept over her head. “When I’m scared like that, I worry I could hit someone really hard if they came too close.”
It was a confession, and she didn’t generally confess anything, not about herself. She gave him a soft, apologetic smile. “Do you think it would be okay?” she asked about the comm. “I didn’t use the old one very much, but maybe if I get good at this...?” It was an open question: Did he think she could get good at this?
“Not all the time.” Luke shifted his weight from one foot to the other, something he did often enough to be recognized as a sign of discomfort, but it was too important of a topic to avoid. “Sometimes it just builds up and taking it out like that, physically, feels good. Until a certain point, and after that it feels worse, like… what am I doing, you know?” He sighed. There was a certain amount of anger and hatred that motivated the desire to kill someone, but when they were no longer just a criminal and actually became a human being it was a lot less easy to consider crossing that line. No matter what happened, though, he refused to let himself ever get that far. Even after everything that happened with the Mask Killer, Night Terror and Mockingbird he hadn’t crossed the line. Fear, on the other hand, wasn’t something he ever admitted to feeling. Not under normal circumstances, at least. “Still, huh? I’m sorry.” Luke looked pained on her behalf, a reminder of she’d gone through because of him. “I guess it’s a matter of taking control instead of letting the fear get the best of you.”
He didn’t hesitate before nodding. “There’s been a lot of new people on the comms, and most I don’t know. I trust you, and we need more of that.” He smiled reassuringly. “You’ll get good at this. I know it.”
She knew him well enough to tell when he was uncomfortable with something, and the familiar old sight made her duck her head with a fond smile for a second before he started talking. She did know. She knew what he meant, and it was the reason she never did hurt those men when they were incapacitated, not more than marking them as a warning to other girls. When he mentioned the Night Terror her expression went guilty. “I shouldn’t say anything about what happened to me, not after what happened to Quinn, and evenwhat happened to you in that place,” she said, because it hadn’t been anything in comparison, and she knew it. She looked up just in time to see his pained expression, and she hugged him without thinking. “It wasn’t your fault,” she said, just enjoying the feeling of safety for a second. “The bad things other people do, they’re never you’re fault. They’re responsible for that,” she said, candid and soft.
She stepped back, and she tipped her head to the side and considered his offer, and then she nodded. “I’ll take one,” she finally said about the comm.
Luke shook his head almost immediately, since he recognized what she was doing – he did the same thing, minimizing his own problems in comparison to everyone else’s because he felt guilty. “What you went through was just as bad, Wren. You don’t have to feel like it’s not… important because of what other people have gone through.” While he knew he was being hypocritical, it didn’t make what he said any less true. He was a little taken aback by the hug but returned it all the same, and it was then that he realized just how much he’d missed her. Even with Quinn there were certain things he avoided talking about, mostly for her sake, but Wren seemed to understand no matter what. “I keep trying to remind myself of that. It’s still hard to realize that there are some things I can’t control.”
He let his hands drop to his sides and nodded. “Okay. I’ll get you one and drop it off. If anyone gives you trouble, just point them towards me.” He gave a small smile. “You want to practice a little more before we call it a night?”
“You get to feel that way, too,” she said, knowing that look in his eyes. “I think we should agree not to have to be so strong around one another, if we’re going to be strong for everyone else.”
She nodded, and she thought maybe this would be okay. Maybe she’d be able to be near him even if he was in love with one of her closest friends. Maybe she’d figure out how to stay safe, and maybe she’d be able to help people without feeling like she was going to break into a million pieces all the time. Somehow, she thought she could, at least if he was around. “I’ll try not to bruise you up too bad,” she promised as she made a fist again, this time playfully aiming for his stomach. Yeah, maybe it would be okay.