NATASHA.
I know. The bigger picture. It just - he was the first body. It'd been so easy in way up to then, I snuck around, I fed Nikita information. And even when I thought I had killed someone before this it was just a stupid test Division had been running on me, it was fake. He was the first person I killed.
He was better than everyone in that place put together. I thought I could, I wanted to get him out. All he ever wanted was to be my friend and I killed him and used him to keep my cover.