It would be humiliating but at this point I think people could use the comic relief.
If we put you in glasses and a scarf you would totally look like a hipster with that beard. We should send you in undercover. Maybe we can get information from the inside of their unnecessary accessory culture.
Of course I made one for you, why would I make you a hat? If I'm making hats I'm going to make my friend a hat. Besides, you have a big head, it has to be custom ;P
I've made a lot of them... but that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact that my life is on display. You're a good friend, Derek.