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[13 Apr 2010|09:08pm] |
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wow. stop it, i feel naked.
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[13 Apr 2010|12:58am] |
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i assure you, pleasure does not mean happiness.
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[10 Apr 2010|09:43pm] |
"NEWS TEAM ASSEMBLE!!!"
"Hi Ron. Sup?"
"Oh. Hi. Didn't see you there."
"We've been here literally the entire time you have."
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[07 Apr 2010|03:36pm] |
Bob: Sean, what are you doin' outside man?
Sean: you're him?
Bob: ...yeah... I'm him
Sean: JESUS! Have i sinned or am i goin' to heaven?
Bob: you're fryin' man, how much acid did you take?
Sean: you're not Jesus... you're Bob
Bob: I'm Bob!... how goes it?
Sean: how are you doin' that?
Bob: doin' what?
Sean: walkin' on water? if i get off this chair I'll drown, you wanna know what Bob? 'Cause i can't swim!
Bob: oh, i get it! so Sean, d'you see land anywhere?
Sean: no... just water... say Bob, You ARE Jesus.
Bob: Thats Right, I am, why do you ask?
Sean: ...Satan, is in the house, he killed my Mom and turned her into a bull!
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[07 Apr 2010|03:13pm] |
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Just a reminder, fans, comin' up is our "Die-hard Night" here at the stadium. Free admission to anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won a pennant.
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[07 Apr 2010|02:58am] |
"it must be nice to always believe you know better, to always think you're the smartest person in the room."
"no. it's awful."
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[06 Apr 2010|08:08pm] |
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i love rumors!
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[04 Apr 2010|12:40am] |
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Remember the 5 D's of dodgeball - dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge.
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[03 Apr 2010|11:12pm] |
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The shit hath hitith the fan... ith.
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[03 Apr 2010|10:26pm] |
Bonnie Parker: You know what, when we started out, I thought we was really goin' somewhere. This is it. We're just goin', huh?
Clyde Barrow: I love you.
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[28 Mar 2010|04:28pm] |
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that was a bit ... forward.
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[28 Mar 2010|07:17pm] |
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There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you. I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, that meant your ass. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. See, now I'm thinkin': maybe it means you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could mean you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. And I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd.
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| idc what anyone else thinks, i loved it :-[ |
[28 Mar 2010|03:40pm] |
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" Caroline asked me if I knew what I'd say if I knew you could hear me. I told her I know: I love you. God, I miss you. And I forgive you. "
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[22 Mar 2010|06:30pm] |
Elliot: He's a man from outer-space and we're taking him to his spaceship.
Greg: Well, can't he just beam up?
Elliot: This is reality, Greg.
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| UGH someone get me a Nick Frost for my birthday |
[20 Mar 2010|10:06pm] |
"She's our only policewoman."
- "She's not a policewoman."
"Yes, she is, I've seen her bra."
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[20 Mar 2010|11:37am] |
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you just ruined the punchline of my japanese golfer joke!
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| JK someone beat me to that one |
[19 Mar 2010|09:31pm] |
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it's as if she evaporated through the walls
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[19 Mar 2010|08:37pm] |
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I'm like my mother. I stereotype - it's faster.
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[17 Mar 2010|09:18pm] |
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Avoid the clap. - Jimmy Dugan
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[15 Mar 2010|12:23am] |
"I just woke up one day and I knew."
"Knew what?"
"What I was never sure of with you."
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