Who: Edwin & Vanessa Where: The woods When: around 11 am until later
Vanessa hated her new room. It was nothing in comparison to what she had at the mansion, a place she desperately wanted back to, because no matter how often she had thrown herself on dirty ground already in the past to achieve some shady goal, it had always been an unfortunate means to an end, clouded by her desire for attention and her urge to show people how miserable she was. In hindsight, most of these acts she had endured seemed silly and embarrassing, which was probably still the light in which most of the house saw her right now, making Vanessa feel unsettled and not really wanting to go out and meet the others in fear of being hated.
She sighed sadly, sitting on her bed and moping, staring at the stupid door which had gotten stuck yesterday, closing her in for a few minutes and making her really scared for a few moments there, because she was all alone. It hadn't really been a surprise that no one had wanted to share a room with her, but this expectation didn't prevent the sadness coming along with this development, as even though she knew perfectly well that she had gotten herself into that situation all alone, the sharp feeling of being kind of exiled nagged at her heart, and had made her cry the afternoon before. The argument with Lucy, the fact that this asshole Marco had stolen Lucy away from her, the loneliness inside this shabby, small, damp, STUPID room, and the fact that Edwin had needed so many hours to reply, making her believe that he also hated her again, all of that had piled up and pushed her over the edge for that day.
It still wasn't easy to deal with all of these emotions that had broken through, given that her feelings were unstable and intense, and probably not always comprehensible for those around her. They for sure hadn't been for Lucy. It still hurt so much that Lucy, her best friend, had chosen to share a room with Marco without even asking her first, or talking with her about that. Vanessa did feel entitled to be Lucy's first choice, but not anymore because she thought of herself as better than anyone else, but because she deeply believed and felt that Lucy and her were besties, and thus, that they always should choose each other first. But Lucy hadn't. Lucy hated her right now. Vanessa was not good, at all, at reflecting her feelings, or differentiating between reality and what was only happening in her head, discerning emotional overreactions and valid hunches from each other. What she felt was real, because it felt real. Real and intense. She had tried so hard to get any kind of reassurance and approval from Lucy that day, showing how much she was willing to help, and got nothing in return. Even less than nothing, given that Lucy had abandoned her at the house as soon as they had arrived.
But Edwin had given her exactly what she had needed. Edwin had reciprocrated her hug, Edwin had given her a smile, Edwin had been okay with her joining his walk to the barn. Edwin had made her desperate mood change to happy again that day, and just like how fast it had happened with Lucy, suddenly her mind had made Edwin her best male friend.
In the end, being near someone who wasn't mad at her and didn't hate her, someone who didn't make her sad and hurt and feel lonely, was more important than being at the cleaner, better building, where Lucy's and Marco's presence would have reminded her all the time at how unfair and mean it had been to cast her out just like that. Going even further, she would have felt humiliated to know that maybe only a few walls further, Lucy and Marco would chat with each other, and laugh with each other, and have fun with each other, and probably also talk about her and exchange stories of how horrible she was. Because, and that was a major factor in her discontent with that situation, Marco had made very clear how much he hated her. And Lucy would still side with him. There was just no way they wouldn't badmouth her, and Vanessa needed getting away from that. Partially to demonstrate Lucy how much she was hurting her, partially because she seriously needed that space to get a territorial distance from the hurt. She just emotionally needed to side with someone else to feel like she was worth anything, and this person had been Edwin.
That was the story of why she was here. There was no kitchen in this barn where probably some animals had lived before, because that was the thing that they used on farms, and the bathroom was far away, and the whole thing filled Vanessa with dissatisfaction and disgust. Why couldn't they just stay at the hotel, why did they need to stay here now? Was this one of these punishments? But why? Vanessa had only so few clothes, none of which really weather-appropriate, because it wasn't winter here, and not to even get started on her foot-wear. She sniffed unhappily as she slowly got up from her sitting position, wondering if she should just knock at Edwin's door. Edwin's and Oliver's door. While she didn't have anything in particular against Oliver, she couldn't help but feel jealous about the fact that Edwin had a boyfriend that was more important than her. After all, it had been Oliver's fault that Edwin had needed almost a DAY to reply to her message, while she was sad and insecure and not really sure what to do with her day. Going into the woods to find something seemed not especially like a fun activity, but then again, Vanessa still yearned for the same thing she had yearned for yesterday: Prove to the others that she wasn't useless. That she wasn't dumb and only in need of assistance. She didn't have many survival skills, and even without her performance as a total airhead, everyone else seemed more capable and knowledgeable than her, even Lucy, and Lucy was younger. Vanessa didn't want to be seen as useless and dumb, she wanted to show everyone that she was capable of something, and thus, maybe gain their respect and being liked. Not being universally hated anymore. Even if that meant going into the creep woods. She hadn't managed to bring Lucy back on her own, or more accurately, Lucy hadn't even let her try. Vanessa still believed that maybe, she could have helped all by herself, but even her best friend didn't believe in her. No one did. Everyone saw her as this stupid superficial bitch she had acted as for weeks, and everyone had been reaffirmed about that assumption yesterday after people had needed to get them because Lucy had injured herself while trying to help her. Everyone hated her for that.
Edwin hadn't reacted to her breakfast suggestion anymore, which naturally meant that he also wanted to avoid her, immediately making her feel dismissed. Falling back into old patterns, Vanessa couldn't quite decide if she should knock at their door after all and ask again, or if she should just go into the woods alone, not to show anyone that she needed help, but to show everyone how capable she was, so they would feel sorry for having misjudged her. Not even Lucy had apologized to her yet.
Still a little uncertain on how to proceed, and after another little and frustrating wrestle with the STUPID door, Vanessa entered the hallway, feeling less afraid of coming across someone who definitely hated her than she would feel in the house. Dylan had always been nice to her, and Scotty was her fuck buddy, at least in her head, and actually, she could also ask him if Edwin didn't want to see her which was evidently the case right now.
At least she clinged to that unhappy conviction until she heard a door open, and upon moving her head curiously, her face started to display the joy before it even really hit her. It was a weird and fast change from being pouty and miserable and sad and hurt to happy to run into Edwin who apparently hadn't already left for the main house without her, and now that he was here, he wouldn't just go without her, or send her away, right? Edwin wasn't like that! They could hang out together after all, and she wouldn't have to go alone into the woods! All these things, she was certain of without even having asked, and her desire to make everyone feel sorry was buried under the more important desire to socialize with her best male friend. It was a delight he was leaving the room without Oliver, too. She could have Edwin for herself now.
"Edwin!", she squeaked excitedly, her face lit as day, and mere seconds later she was already hugging him happily, content with the world for this very moment. "Good mooorning!!", she cooed way too close to his ear before making two little excited jumps.