Maybe other people do that side talking thing when they say no judgement, but I don't. I'm sorry if what I said came across as shame-y or judging; I didn't mean it like that or as like, a passive-aggressive thing aimed at you alone. I don't think it makes you a not-decent person or whatever, it's just not in my nature to leave someone to be miserable on their own.
Anyway, the coffee offer is always open if you change your mind.