Edwin Mercier (undercovergoth) wrote in mountzenithnet, @ 2020-10-17 12:18:00 |
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Entry tags: | #day 055, edwin |
Edwin: 3:17pm [Private]
1. What's something that you know you do differently than most people?
A few things, but let's go with how I dress, and deflect with art facts.
2. Who in this experiment makes you feel safe?
Oliver.
3. Who in this experiment makes you feel unsafe?
Just the people running it.
4. What goals have you set in the past that you haven't achieved?
[...] Oof. I've got a few. They include art facts.
5. Where do you wish you were right now?
Home, but in my version Oliver's there too.
6. Thinking back to the best day of your life, how do you think those feelings could be recreated?
Well to start, we're going to need a lot more costumes than what we have here.
7. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
I do feel like up until recently I've had a fair amount of control in my life. So whatever a normal amount is, given how much we're actually able to control from a societal point of view? Minus a few rough spots?
8. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
Both, but doing things right is a lot more stressful.
9. How do you feel you've changed since becoming part of this experiment?
It's complicated because I feel like I cry a whole lot more but I also have a boyfriend who I love here, and relationships change people, so... Yeah, it's complicated.
10. How are your fears related to your childhood?
Well I guess I have a fear of losing family, which would come from having them around as a child.
11. Do you ever replay something, like an embarrassing moment or words left unsaid, in your head? What is it?
Are there people who don't do that? God, one of these popped into my head the other night, what was it... I think there's one memory of me being in PE in middle or high school and I got shoved into whoever the popular guy was in that class, and someone else screaming about how I had a crush on him? And I didn't, but my way of proving this was to yell NO in an unflattering tone, which in turn made me blush? So that wasn't the most convincing. He gave me the weirdest look, and I wish I had been able to come up with something to say. Luckily, nothing ever came of that except years of it popping into my head while I'm trying to sleep.
12. How do you deal with hurt and pain?
Cuddling.
13. Is it easier for you to love or to hate?
Love. But I get how it's easy to hate. I hate whoever put me in this experiment, for example.
14. What do you do when you feel afraid?
Try to talk myself out of it. With mixed results.
15. If you could bring back one person that was part of this experiment but has since been removed, who would it be, and why?
Georgie.
16. What are three things you like about yourself?
I'm a fast learner, I like to believe that I'm pretty inoffensive and maybe even well liked, and I'm comfortable with who I am as a person.
17. What are three things you don't like about yourself?
I really need a haircut, I sleep in too late, and I'm really bad at putting together this D&D campaign that I keep asking people about.
18. Do you believe in a higher power?
Maybe. I'm not against the idea.
19. What makes you special?
I feel like Sesame Street or Mister Rogers taught us all that "You're special because you're you," and I think that's a nice thing to think about.
20. How do you feel in this moment?
Like I'm going to go back to enjoying my day trip with my boyfriend.