Pam Hodges (pumpkinbutter) wrote in mountzenithnet, @ 2020-10-09 14:11:00 |
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Entry tags: | #day 055, pam |
i<3Fletcher: 11:06am [Private]
1. What's something that you know you do differently than most people?
Oh, gosh! I don't think I do anything all that differently from other people! Like, everyone here already knows about my writing, and I guess that's different than what anyone else would write. I don't know if I actually believe that, but everyone insisted it was weird, so here we are.
2. Who in this experiment makes you feel safe?
I feel safe with a lot of the people who have been here for a while! Jack's probably at the top of that list, but like, also Owen and Oliver and even Kiley sometimes! I don't know if she knows that, but it's fine.
3. Who in this experiment makes you feel unsafe?
Mostly just you guys at this point? Like, there are still people that I wouldn't want to be teamed up with or whatever, but like, if anyone here was responsible for the body in the woods I would be very surprised.
4. What goals have you set in the past that you haven't achieved?
I feel like the goals I set at home were like super achievable and admittedly a lot of my ideas here people don't really like, so like, anything I wanted to do as part of the security council didn't really happen. But that's fine. It's whatever. Like, I probably could have done things that would have helped a lot but it's fine.
5. Where do you wish you were right now?
In bed with Fletcher.
6. Thinking back to the best day of your life, how do you think those feelings could be recreated?
Literally the day I get back to Fletcher after all this is going to be just as amazing of a day as the day I married him, so like, the way those feelings could be recreated is just by having Fletcher by me again.
7. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
I was super in control of my life before I got to this place! So like 95% control!
8. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
Like probably both?
9. How do you feel you've changed since becoming part of this experiment?
I am so frigging lonely oh my god.
10. How are your fears related to your childhood?
Oh, that's easy! I saw My Girl as a kid and Macaulay Culkin's death in that movie is traumatizing.
11. Do you ever replay something, like an embarrassing moment or words left unsaid, in your head? What is it?
Like ALL THE TIME, like I still think of embarrassing things from middle school! Like I started crying in class because someone hit me with their bag and I just have that pop into my head every so often.
12. How do you deal with hurt and pain?
I mean, I still cry, and then I snuggle with an animal if I can find one.
13. Is it easier for you to love or to hate?
I don't think it's particularly easy to do either thing! I like to believe I'm better at loving, but both happen, and neither are easy.
14. What do you do when you feel afraid?
I cry when I'm scared too, but like, if it's little fears like some of the average day to day stuff around here I still talk to Fletcher even though I don't know what he's doing right now and he obviously can't hear me.
15. If you could bring back one person that was part of this experiment but has since been removed, who would it be, and why?
Maybe Cecilia? Just logistically, she got a lot of stuff done here and I'd be curious to see how she would want things to run in this setting.
16. What are three things you like about yourself?
I like my smile, my brain, and that I love with my whole heart.
17. What are three things you don't like about yourself?
I don't really like my nose, and I don't always like how emotional I can get, and I don't like that I'm not a better cook! But those are things I can work on.
18. Do you believe in a higher power?
I think so. I wouldn't call myself religious, but I do think that things have a meaning.
19. What makes you special?
I'm adorable and good :-)
20. How do you feel in this moment?
Honestly? A little nervous that I've said something here that you'll find a way to twist and make bad.