£∃G↑∅∏ ♟ (legionnaire_) wrote in monte_rpg, @ 2012-07-26 11:19:00 |
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Current mood: | confused |
max is a nice boy. /edited.
[His parents have always insisted that, regardless of his varying mental conditions, Max has always been a 'nice boy'. And perhaps Max is a nice boy. Easy to smile, quick to pick up a conversation, easy to laugh, and always ready to share the things he likes with other people.
But,
Legion and Max have never felt so separate before. It's not that Max is floundering, but the voices are building, angry. No matter how much therapy he's been put through, or what kind of medication he's told to take, he'll always have those tiny voices, tiny impulses. Break, hurt, kill, destroy. Over and over and over, like a bass line to the constant song in his head. A song that's getting off-time, and disjointed, notes hitting at strange intervals and things he can't keep up with.
They tell him he's weak, and worthless. Max doesn't matter. Max has never mattered. Max's feelings, his dreams, and Bethany, don't matter. Maybe it's because Max loves her. He wants to tell her he loves her, but it doesn't seem like the right time. And he's an idiot for not knowing when to say it.
Do you think she'd want your love, Max? Do you think she'd ever want you to tell her you love her? So you can stand there like an idiot and watch her take that love and run with it and break it? It's too early for that, you freak.
So, understandably. Max shuts down a little. It's not completely catatonic, but he hasn't been able to drag himself out of his room. He shows no interest in food, which only worsens his condition, and his mood, as he lays there and lets the voices berate him.
For wanting to tell Bethany he loves her. He reaches over to his phone, hits a few buttons, and turns his attention back to his laptop.]
[TEXT TO BETHANY]
i
[And that's as far as he gets before something jams his fingers against the 'send' button]
[PUBLIC]i'm throwing up no, my brain is. [He leaves it up for a little while, but it comes across as too emotional. Not to mention, getting slightly enraged by his conversation with Nike has motivated him to do something.]
can't we just get out i fucking want out of it. we don't need it anymore. we don't want him in here with us anymore, causing all these goddamn problems. so little so little so scared.
eta: FUCKING GOD.
[JUDAS]
we didn't forget. did you?