.one.
Honestly, people put no effort whatsoever into fake identification. Do you honestly think that anyone is going to believe that you're a 54-year-old Jamaican man with those breasts, sweetheart? It's just lazy. Appallingly so.
And when I card you - because, yes, I will inevitably card you - a least try not to look like you've recently murdered someone and have their body out in your trunk at that very moment. Just a little effort, please. I'll still laugh and refuse to serve you, but perhaps not quite so condescendingly.