Just, seriously...I'm sorry, Skittles, if I scream in my sleep.
Some of you may come across a dvd with the words "XXX" on it. You may be tempted to grab it, because you think it'll be porn.
Oh, how wrong you would be.
I won't stop you, but do read this closely.
After classes I decided to head into town to grab something to eat. On my way there I pass this yard sale, and it looks like they have some interesting shit. I turn around, and decide to check it out. It's like a treasure trove of old items. Boxes of cassette tapes, CDs, video cassettes, old DVDs, and old video games. There's also some clothes, and some other items, but mostly I'm interested in the videos. I dig through them, and it's mostly Wal-Mart bin crap. There was one that looked like it might be about a couple of lesbians, and it was called Perfect Life. I grab it, fifty cents. Then I notice a case that just says XXX, red letters on white background. No price tag. I ask the seller how much, and they get real nervous. They tell me that they will actually give it to me for free, and offered my choice of whatever other items I wanted. I made out with some nice stuff.
So I get back, and decide to watch Perfect Life, which nearly gave me seizures because of the editing. After that I decide to watch XXX, because I am curious, and how bad could it be?
It was horrible. The whole entire thing was static, but I could hear a guitar playing, and what sounded like an old man mumbling about a prostitute. It's hard to make out, so I plug in my headphones, and turn it up.
Still an old man bitching about a whore. He gives this speech, which is mumbled at first, but then it gets louder and louder, and more and more pained. It sounds like the guy is just wailing and sobbing, and it sounds like he's right next to me. The sobbing gets more and more intense, and then I hear this female voice.
"You are nothing"
"I've gotten more pleasure from a noodle"
"Horrible lovers like you deserve to be alone"
"Did you think you could ever satisfy me?"
More wailing and crying and screaming. Then there's heavy breathing and grunting, and muffled screaming. It's painful to listen to, but I kept on.
I couldn't take them off, I had to listen.
Finally it ends, and the words, "order Metallica and Lou Reed's new album, "Lou Lou""