Whew! I don't think I got a wink of sleep last night. Around 6:30AM I gave up, and just went outside. But, I suppose one sleepless night every once in a while won't exactly kill me.
It gave me plenty of time to meditate and read, so I can't say the experience was entirely fruitless. I ended up spending my waking hours meditating over my place in the universe, which, I suppose sounds rather silly. Perhaps typical. But with what's been on my mind lately, it proved to be rather poignant.
I choose to believe that, since I am here, and I am me, there must be some kind of place for me to be. Like a niche. Somewhere where something like me is supposed to fit. However perfect the niche is, however, regardless of who made it for me, or how well I conform to it, I have the choice to not fit into that niche. I can grow outside of it. Shrink. Knot myself up, and ruin myself so that nothing can be done with me or this niche ever again. I can even take someone else's niche and pretend I fit into it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, if there is a central plan to the universe, and supposedly a place for me to fit into it, regardless of what I do, the universe isn't going to stop. Even if I muck up my part altogether. I can't choose which part was made 'for me', but I can most assuredly do whatever I like with it. I can even make it better. Or worse, of course. Worse being the more popular option.
Ah, that got a little long winded. Sincere apologies. I'm sure none of you care about my sleep-deprived ramblings.
I don't understand this. I don't understand that dream at all. I want to- why?
On a lighter note, I'm starting a novel.
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