Sigh, how fun!!! Ergo the totally inappropriate icon...
Heracles is not going to be able to resist throwing himself into the thick of this - rescuing anyone, punching people, being generally epic. Its one of his powers and will give him such great stories. He is able to be protector-y for anyone who needs it.
Elaine will be terribly unimpressed, hanging out in her dorm... Possibly relaunching her old healthy living blog to discuss her feelings and emotions (of rage) about it all.