She sighed heavily, pushing a hand through her hair. Vanessa watched him as he rambled on, suddenly feeling a bit sick herself. She frowned, her heart feeling heavy as it was plain to see what he thought was going on and she had to bite back a laugh, because the truth of the matter was, the only thing she thought about when she and Preston had fooled around was how badly she wished she were with Chase instead. She shook her head at him and then reached out to slide her hand into his.
It's not like that, with him. I mean, it kind of was, but not the way you might be thinking. It was hard to...we fooled around a few times. That was it. And it isn't happening anymore because at the end of the day I don't want him the way you should want someone that you're with that way. Her brow furrowed and she frowned, studying his hand clasped inside her own.
It wasn't fair and it was kind of shitty to him, because anytime I was with him, all I thought about was you. And I can't lie to you anymore. I don't.. I don't think of you as just a friend and I wish you could see it, too. I wish I could make you see how much I care about you, and I'm so sorry because you deserve better. There's so much you deserve that I cant give you, even as badly as I want to. It isn't safe for me to be with anyone that way.
Her throat cleared and she guided him gently to sit beside her.