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Captain Jack Harkness ([info]cannot_die) wrote in [info]mirage_rpg,
@ 2009-01-18 11:08:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:andy gallagher, complete, day 29, gray harkness, jack harkness

WHO: Jack, Gray and Andy
WHAT: A reunion of brothers... with a friend
WHEN: Day 29, morning
WHERE: Jack and Ianto's room, F207
RATING: PG
STATUS: Incomplete


Jack paced the room he shared with Ianto obsessively as he waited for Andy and Gray to arrive. He'd done a quick run around, making the bed and cleaning up a few things but frankly with Ianto living here with him, it was more make-work than anything that actually needed to be done. Ianto wasn't one to leave things messy for too long, despite Jack's preference for a more 'lived in' look.

He did feel a hint of trepidation about this meeting, not so much because of what had happened the last time he had met Gray. That had been an older, broken Gray. This one was young, if what Andy had said was correct, and still recognisably his brother. No, his trepidation came from what Andy said had been done to Gray and the fear that Gray wouldn't recognise him as an adult. He knew he'd changed a little from when he was a boy but he thought there was enough left of the boy in his face for Gray to recognise.

He did another turn and paced back, glancing over at the door and wondering how long it would take them to get here.



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[info]brain_ninja
2009-01-17 06:27 pm UTC (link)
Andy was kinda freaking out. Well. Andy was totally freaking out. He still wasn't entirely comfortable with the whole idea, even if Jack was Gray's brother and he'd honestly have preferred to stay out of it. But, he'd promised Gray he'd always be there for him and when Gray asked him to come along, he agreed.

Between playing the mediator all morning, the skirmish with Tonks, the invite to go have a snowball fight, and the friggen inquisition between that Gwen girl and Ianto, Andy was already exhausted and it wasn't even noon. At least Jack had said his room was in building F and so was Gray's. Less work.

He left his room and headed over to Gray's after asking Mirage for a couple of cinnamon rolls and a cup of coffee. He devoured one of the cinnamon rolls and sipped on his coffee as he headed toward Gray's building. Gray could have the other roll if he wanted and if not, Andy definitely wouldn't hate wolfing that one down, too.

When he reached the building, he headed upstairs and knocked on Gray's door gently. "Hey, buddy, it's Andy. You about ready to go?" he called through the wood.

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-17 06:51 pm UTC (link)
Gray opened the door slightly to peer out, wearing a loose long sleeved top and jeans. "Andy? Yeah. I'm ready." The boy smiled shyly and opened the door the rest of the way.

"Were are we going to met Big Brother at?" His eyes drift to the cinnamon roll in Andy's hand. "What's that?"

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[info]brain_ninja
2009-01-17 07:07 pm UTC (link)
Andy smiled back at the child. "Hey bud. We're gonna go to his room. He's actually just down the hall. You wanna walk or are you still too sore? I can carry you if you want, but it's not too far, so it's up to you," he replied.

He noticed Gray looking at the cinnamon roll in his hand and had nearly forgotten it was there. "Oh! Here, it's a cinnamon roll. I already ate mine," he said, holding it out to the child. "Ready to roll?"

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-17 07:17 pm UTC (link)
Gray took the cinnamon roll and looked back up at Andy. "I...I think I'll walk or I'll never stop being sore." He glanced back down at the roll and sniffed it curiously before taking a small nibble.

The boy's eyes light up in delight. "This is good!" He smiled up at Andy. "Thank you."

Gray nodded his readiness and uses his good hand to take Andy's while using his casted hand to eat.

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[info]brain_ninja
2009-01-17 07:30 pm UTC (link)
Andy grinned. "Breakfast of champions," he joked and led Gray down the hall a little ways, looking at the numbers on the doors.

"Pretty sure he said F207. So...this is it. Hope you're ready," he said to Gray, giving the little boy's hand a gentle squeeze before knocking on Jack's bedroom door.

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[info]cannot_die
2009-01-17 07:39 pm UTC (link)
Jack leapt for the door when the knock came and caught himself just in time so that he didn't yank it open but instead opened it in a normal, ordinary fashion. He barely noticed Andy standing there, his gaze went instantly to the young boy standing next to him.

"Gray," he murmured as he dropped to one knee. He had a pleading look on his face as he hoped like hell that his brother would recognise him. "Gray... it's me. Jackson."

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-17 07:45 pm UTC (link)
Gray looked surprised not really expecting a full adult but he studied Jack's face closely. He slow pulled his hand for Andy's and touched Jack's face. "Big brother..."

He stepped closer, cautiously, looking for something only he can see and when he found it he hugged Jack. "Jackson."

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[info]cannot_die
2009-01-17 07:53 pm UTC (link)
Jack waited, trembling a little as Gray touched his face then seemed to search for something that he subsequently found. He let out a small sobbing breath when Gray hugged him and almost hugged him back tightly before remembering what Andy had said about injuries. As such, his hug was gentle and careful but still very much real and fervent.

"Gray," he said quietly, pleadingly. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never meant to let go of your hand. I promise. It was an accident. I never meant to let go. I searched for so long. Everywhere I could think of. I really tried to find you."

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[info]brain_ninja
2009-01-17 07:58 pm UTC (link)
Andy stood awkwardly behind Gray and for lack of anything else to do, took a sip of his coffee. He felt like an intruder, but he'd promised and he intended to stay until Gray or both of them told him to leave. He was happy to see that Jack had heeded his advice about the gentle hugging, though.

Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, he looked down at his coffee cup, frowning that it was nearly empty and studying it as if he suddenly found it very interesting. Anything to keep from intruding on their reunion.

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-17 08:11 pm UTC (link)
Gray shook his head. "Not your fault...It wasn't your fault." He buried his face against Jack's shoulder for a moment. "I've missed you big brother and waited patiently. I knew you'd come...I just did expect it to be like this."

He pulled away, wiping tears away from his eyes with his good hand. "Andy helped me when I got here." Gray smiles soggily. "I got to try a soda too."

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[info]cannot_die
2009-01-17 08:35 pm UTC (link)
Jack pressed a kiss against Gray's temple. "I've missed you too, squirt." He gave a small laugh. "Neither did I but I'll take it."

He let Gray pull away and smiled. He transferred that smile to Andy. "So I heard. Thank you, Andy." He rose and offered his hand. "Shall we go inside?"

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[info]brain_ninja
2009-01-17 08:38 pm UTC (link)
Andy nodded, giving back a small smile. "Don't mention it," he replied, taking Jack's hand to shake it.

Hesitating at Jack's offer, Andy looked down at Gray and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, you know, buddy, I can go back to my room, if you want," he offered. "Give you a little while to catch up with your brother. Your call."

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-17 09:01 pm UTC (link)
Gray looked a little unsure, wanting Andy to stay but seeing the man was uncomfortable. "Come back after a while?"

He glanced up at Jack, after all it was his room and ultimately his choice if the man stayed or went.

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[info]cannot_die
2009-01-17 09:58 pm UTC (link)
Jack smiled at both of them, not his normal wattage of smile but perhaps a more genuine one for that. "Whatever you're both comfortable with. I don't mind."

He wanted his brother for himself but he was also grateful to Andy for the obvious care and concern he felt for Gray. He stepped back and headed into the room, letting them follow or not as they wished. A quick request of the planet had a small couch and a couple of comfortable chairs appear in one corner of the room and he dropped down on the couch to wait.

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[info]brain_ninja
2009-01-17 11:04 pm UTC (link)
Andy crouched down and looked back at Gray. "I'll tell you what. I'm gonna go out and play in the snow, because I heard there's a massive snowball fight. So, you catch up with your brother...and if you want to later, come out and join me. I'll keep you safe and it'll be fun," he replied with a smile.

He was more than happy to give them a little while to get to know one another. He only felt like he was in the way, now.

Andy stood again. "It was really nice to meet you, Jack...you can tell me that story another time, all right? I'll let you guys reacquaint yourselves." He gave Jack a small smile.

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-17 11:12 pm UTC (link)
Gray hugged Andy and stepped away. "I'd like to play in the snow so I'll see you later. Thank you Andy."

He walked over to where Jack was sitting and sat down, pulling his knees up under his chin. Gray was in awe of being able to see his brother after so long but at lost at what to say.

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[info]cannot_die
2009-01-17 11:22 pm UTC (link)
Jack smiled when Gray sat down next to him and gently ran his hand down the back of his brother's head in a caress. It seemed so strange to have Gray back and so young. In some ways it reminded him of all the mistakes he'd made both on that horrible day and afterwards but it was also such a better reunion than the last one he'd had with Gray... the one he had no intention of talking about.

For a moment he didn't know what to say then he snatched up something that Andy had said. "I hear you've met Rose. Did you know she's a friend of mine too? We travelled together for a while with another friend, the Doctor."

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[info]brain_ninja
2009-01-17 11:30 pm UTC (link)
Andy nodded at Gray. "No problem, buddy. You know where to find me if you need me," he said with a smile.

His eyes then moved to Jack. "Yeah, you said. That's cool. I like them both; good people."

He hesitated. "All right, well, I'm gonna head out. I'll be out at the snow forts if you need me, Gray, and Jack...again, good to meet ya. Take good care of him. I mean, I know you will, but...you know." He shrugged and gave Jack a sheepish smile. "See ya, guys."

After a moment, Andy nodded once to himself and turned, heading back outside. He'd head back to his room, shoot Sam a private in his journal to see if he wanted to come along, and then bundle up and head out.

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-18 12:07 am UTC (link)
Gray watched Andy leave, smiling lightly at Jack's caress. After the man that had helped him left Gray looked up at Jack, curiosity clear in his pale grey eyes.

"I...I wasn't expecting an adult..."

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[info]cannot_die
2009-01-18 12:20 am UTC (link)
Jack gave Andy a smile and a nod. "I will." He made a mental note to tell Andy that story. Andy deserved to know why he, Ianto and Gwen had all jumped on him in such a fashion.

"Yeah," he said with a sigh. "This place has grabbed us from very different points in our timelines." He hesitated for a moment the decided he should probably tell Gray. It was possible someone else might make a reference and although the planet said there was no killing that didn't mean it wouldn't happen. "I'm, uh... actually a lot older than I look."

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-18 12:35 am UTC (link)
Gray noticed the hesitation and tensed slightly before relaxing somewhat. "What do you mean?" He reached out and touched Jack's cheek curiously, a light frown touching his lips as if he was trying to figure it out on his own.

After a moment he pulled away, rubbing his arm just above the cast.

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[info]cannot_die
2009-01-18 12:45 am UTC (link)
Jack smiled when Gray touched his face and returned that gesture, still marvelling a little at the oh-so-familiar face. "It's kind of a long story but a while back I... was killed. But Rose... you met Rose... she had been temporarily given great power and she... brought me back from the dead. Brought me back to life. Because she cared for me so much that she didn't want me to die."

He grimaced. "Unfortunately she couldn't control that power and when she brought me back, she did so... sort of permanently. I can still die but I always come back. Always. With everything that's happened since then, I'm... a little over two thousand years old."

He brushed his fingers over Gray's hair again. "I'm telling you this because there are a few of my friends here and if you meet them, well, they know about this. I didn't want you getting worried about it if they made some comment that you didn't understand."

And given that most of those two thousand years was because of Gray, the chance of comments from Gwen or Ianto were reasonably high. He just hoped they could see that this Gray was just a little boy and not the Gray they had met... the Gray who had killed Tosh and Owen.

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-18 12:54 am UTC (link)
Gray studied Jack's face as he explained and he nodded in understanding, smiling slightly when Jack caressed his head. When Jack pulled back Gray frowned faintly.

"You...said you were from later in our time line...Do I. Do I do something bad in the future? Is that why the other two asked Andy about me?" He couldn't help to feel that he did something bad. Every time Jack spoke about his time he seemed pained. It couldn't be just from him being taken.

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[info]cannot_die
2009-01-18 01:11 am UTC (link)
Jack ducked his head. He'd forgotten that his brother had generally been able to pick up when he was hiding something and now he was caught between telling the truth and likely horrifying his brother or lying and risking something just as bad if Gray ever found out the truth.

"I..." he began but then stopped and scrubbed his face with one hand. "Yes... but it wasn't your fault. Not really. The people who'd taken you... they hurt you. They turned you into... it's their fault." He placed his hand on Gray's head again. "I stopped from doing anything else and I... I'm looking after you until I can find someone to help you."

He carefully wrapped his arm around Gray's shoulders, keeping it gentle so that he didn't hurt him. "Look... you can't dwell on that. It's in the future and... maybe something will happen here to allow that to change."

He knew it wasn't likely but he'd also learned along time ago not to deal in absolutes when it came to time. He'd seen so many strange things on that score after all.

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-18 01:27 am UTC (link)
Gray frowned and looked away, snuggling against Jack needing the comfort. "I'm sorry...I know it hasn't happened but...I'm sorry."

He sighed. "Maybe I really should hide in my room. I don't want to upset people."

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[info]cannot_die
2009-01-18 01:35 am UTC (link)
Jack held Gray as tightly as he dared. "It's okay. It's not your fault. Not really."

He shook his head. "No, it's alright. They're smart people. They'll be able to see that you're not... that person." He left off the not yet that should perhaps have gone there. He then smiled. "Besides I want you to meet them, especially one of them... Ianto Jones. He's my partner. I think you'll like him."

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-18 01:48 am UTC (link)
Gray gave Jack a look that he clearly disagreed on the first part. He smiled faintly.

"I'm glad you found someone Big Brother. And I hope you're right." He pushed back his hair, face thoughtful. "How was...How was Mom and Dad after I was taken? Were they okay?"

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[info]cannot_die
2009-01-18 01:58 am UTC (link)
Jack smiled. "I know I am. Ianto's intelligent... and gorgeous but yeah, he's smart. He'll be able to see you and not the... other you."

He grimaced and rested his chin on Gray's head. "Dad... died during the attack. Mum survived. She and I found each other again afterwards." Not that either of them had been the same after the attack.

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-18 02:08 am UTC (link)
Gray frowned. "Oh." He reached up and wiped away the tears that started running down his cheeks and swallows hard. "...Oh..."

A soft hitching sob escaped him despite his wishes. Confused to why it hurt so much he buries his face against Jack's chest, his uninjured hand gripping the man's top.

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[info]cannot_die
2009-01-18 02:16 am UTC (link)
Jack gathered his little brother close and gently rocked him back and forth, making a low crooning sound as he tried to comfort him.

"It's okay, Gray, it's okay," he said, kissing the top of Gray's head. He remembered this, remembered he and Mum just holding onto each other and crying at random times of the day after the attack when the reality of no Dad and no Gray hit home yet again.

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-18 02:26 am UTC (link)
Gray broke into to full blown sobs as Jack rocked him, feeling as though his father's death was somehow his fault. Feeling guilty cause all those years of being slave he had been upset that he's father hadn't come yet to save him and now only to find out...

"It hurts...It hurts...." Gray whimpered.

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[info]cannot_die
2009-01-18 02:40 am UTC (link)
Jack pressed another kiss to Gray's head and continued to rock him. "Shhh, it's alright, Gray. I know. I know it hurts."

He felt his own tears welling in his eyes. He'd thought he was well past this, the grief, the guilt, everything but obviously he wasn't. He just held onto his brother and let the tears roll down his face.

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-18 02:46 am UTC (link)
Gray slowly started to quiet down, clinging tightly to Jack as he stared out into the room. "It was my fault wasn't it...my fault he died...Cause I tripped...cause I couldn't keep up." The boy trembled. "If only I could of kept up....If."

He curled against Jack as if trying to hide away.

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[info]cannot_die
2009-01-18 02:54 am UTC (link)
"No!" The word burst out of Jack's mouth before he could do anything else. "No, it wasn't your fault. None of it was. It was the attackers. It was their fault. He went back for Mum. Remember? He told us to run and went back for Mum. It wasn't anything to do with you."

He wrapped his arms around Gray as tightly as he dared. "It wasn't your fault. It wasn't my fault. It was them." And for perhaps the first time since he'd been a boy, he started to really believe that.

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-18 03:02 am UTC (link)
Gray had tensed at Jack's outburst but relaxed as the man spoke. Finally, after a moment, Gray started to laugh soggily breath still hitching from tiny after sobs.

"This...this isn't how I imagined it." Gray murmured. "Not at all. It was suppose to be happier." The boy pulled away, scrubbing his face with a sleeve. He looked up at Jack. "What do we do now Jackson? ...where do we go from here? Cause I don't know. I finally found you...and I don't know."

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[info]cannot_die
2009-01-18 02:45 pm UTC (link)
Jack relaxed a little when he heard that small laugh and he smiled tearily himself at what followed. "Yeah, I'd kind of imagined something happier... a bit more triumphant." When he'd been a boy he'd imagned charging into whereever Gray was and rescuing him at the head of a small army. Realism had adjusted that somewhat as he'd gotten older but he'd still always hoped to do the rescuing himself.

He was silent for a moment. "I... don't know. This place... it's pulled us all here for reasons that don't really make sense. It just wants us to enjoy ourselves but we can't leave. Not even the Doctor seems to be able to manage that." He looked down at Gray. "I don't know. I guess we just go on and make it up day by day." He smiled wryly. "That more or less what I did for a hell of a long time. Worked most of the time." He paused and smiled a little shyly, something might surprise his team but... this was his brother, not some random stranger. "I still want you to meet Ianto at some point. When you're ready. And at some point, I'd really like to know what happened to you. You don't have to tell me but... I am your big brother and I'd really like to try and help make it better."

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-19 08:05 pm UTC (link)
"I'd be happy to meet your partner, Big Brother. Anyone who makes you happy has to be a good person." Gray smiled back at his brother before looking away, again rubbing his arm just above the cast. He's expression is far away, thoughtful for a moment. The boy clenched his hand and put it in his lap.

"I...I think if I waited I wouldn't be able to talk about it..." Gray trembled faintly. "Cause I would want to forget about it." He took a deep breath. "I...I think I would...I would rather tell you now...."

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[info]cannot_die
2009-01-21 04:31 pm UTC (link)
Jack smiled down at Gray. "He does and he is. I'm lucky to have him in my life." He knew Ianto would likely be apprehensive but he was sure that his lover would be able to see that this small boy wasn't the same person as the man who'd killed Tosh and Owen.

He swallowed hard at what Gray said. He suspected he was not going to like hearing this one little bit. "I'm here," he said, pressing a kiss to Gray's temple. "You're safe and I'm here and no matter how bad it is, I love you and that will never, ever change. Just... take your time and if you need to stop, just stop, okay?"

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-22 12:08 am UTC (link)
Gray bowed his head, trembling increasing as he slowly, haltingly recounts what happen during his six years of captivity, as a slave. He tells Jack about the Breakers, being sold and of all the physical, mental, emotion and, yes, sexual abuse he endured over the years as well as how he'd sketch to try to take his mind of his situation. The entire time silent tears run down his cheek.

He swallows thickly and looks down at his casted arm. "This was cause I took food without permission...Same as my back...Same as..same as other thing... I knew better but I was so hungry and it was just going to be thrown out..." Gray looks up and attempts to smile. "The one daughter was nice though...she'd let me hide in her room and draw."

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[info]cannot_die
2009-01-27 06:17 pm UTC (link)
Jack listened to the halting tale of abuse, torture and misery with a tumult of emotions running through him. The rage was natural but he pushed it down and away for now. He didn't want Gray to see it, to even have the slightest thought it might be directed at him. But that made room for the horror, the guilt and the distress and tears rolled down his face as he did the only thing he could think of which was to wrap his arms gently around his brother and hold him.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured when Gray finally finished. "I wish..." He broke off. If he ever got out of here, he was going to find a way to find these people and make them pay. He had plenty of time after all and plenty of experience in the payment options. "I love you. You're so strong. You survived it. You survived it all. And now you're here, with me and if I have anything to say about it, you're never going back." He knew that was a hollow promise given what had happened to him but if he could find a way, perhaps convince the planet somehow, he would.

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-27 06:35 pm UTC (link)
"I love you too Big Brother." Gray was quiet for a moment, clinging tightly to Jack, his features thoughtful.

"What...what if I'm returned there though? What if I become the person that hurts you." The boy looked up at Jack, a very real fear there in his pale grey eyes. "They'll punish me if they notice I'm gone and I return." He paled as he started to think about it, trembling. "I don't want to go back."

He clung tighter to Jack, as if trusting him to keep him safe.

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[info]cannot_die
2009-01-27 06:41 pm UTC (link)
"This planet is supposed to give us what we want," Jack said quietly. "I'm going to ask. I'll do whatever it wants to keep you away from there." He knew that could potentially be a dangerous or even futile move but it couldn't hurt to try. And maybe it might help the Doctor get them away from here in his TARDIS. Then even if Gray was taken back, they could get him out again.

"But..." he said slowly, thinking about how he'd been here before then been taken back and he didn't remember. "If the worst happens, if this planet does send you back, then you'll be sent back to the exact moment you were taken and you won't remember." He chewed on his lip. "It's happened to me. Ianto told me that I was here before then I disappeared but I don't remember it. And there's no sign I was ever gone back home."

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-27 07:01 pm UTC (link)
The words were a small comfort but they hurt too. He didn't want to forget everyone he'd met already, he didn't want to lose his brother. "I'd rather stay here if I can't be with you. I'd rather the gilded cage..."The boy murmured.

"I'll ask too. Cause I don't ever want to go back."

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[info]cannot_die
2009-01-27 08:09 pm UTC (link)
"Yeah, me too," Jack said and he meant it. He had Ianto and Gray. He didn't like being penned up but if the alternative was for Gray to end up being the monster who had killed Tosh and Owen, he'd rather stay here.

"Better option would be to take you back with me," he said with a smile. That would be perfect and given how un-childlike Gray could be at times... not surprisingly given all he'd been through... he didn't think there would be a problem combining Torchwood and his family. That's if he could convince the planet to do so... which might be the most difficult thing given it didn't seem to want to let them leave.

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-01-27 08:42 pm UTC (link)
Gray smiled at the thought. Not only would he'd be free, well and truly free, if Jack could bring him home with him Gray would have his brother back.

He'd have a family again, he'd be safe.

"What is Earth like?"

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[info]cannot_die
2009-02-03 04:38 pm UTC (link)
Jack forced himself to relax against the couch and gently pulled Gray into his lap. "Well... I'm living in the 21st century at the moment so it's kind of old-fashioned from what we grew up with. I live in a place called Cardiff in Wales, which is part of Britain. It's a beautiful place, very different from Boeshane, colder and wetter but still beautiful. And the people are... well, mostly oblivious to the strange things that happen around them and sometimes terribly backwards but they have so much potential."

He grinned. "It's all about to happen for them. I tell my team that. The 21st century is when it all happens for Earth. That's why I stay there. Torchwood is there to protect them."

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-02-04 04:08 pm UTC (link)
Gray winced faintly, trying to hide the expression, as Jack shifted him and he settled against his brother. He listened with interest, almost picturing the place Jack was talking about. "It sounds nice." He looked up at Jack then.

"You're at the changing point of our history?" Gray asked thoughtfully. "Must be interesting to see how we were then compared to how we are in the 51st century."

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[info]cannot_die
2009-02-18 09:21 pm UTC (link)
Jack smiled, his eyes distant as his mind drifted. "It is. Had to go halfway round the universe and back again before I found a place I can call home." He closed his eyes, pain drifting briefly across his face. "I'm going to lose it all, of course. Watch everyone grow old and die while I stay the same." That hurt. It hurt everytime he thought about it.

He shook those thoughts away and grinned. "Yeah and smack bang in the middle of it with Torchwood. It's fun... most of the time." He rolled his eyes. "Antiquated mostly. Especially some of the attitudes. But they're changing, growing, adapting, all that."

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[info]notbrokenyet
2009-02-24 05:49 pm UTC (link)
"I wish I could see it." Gray murmured softly, shifting slightly. He's quiet for a moment.

"You won't really lose them I think...I mean. You'll have memories of them. They'll leave yes but so long as you remember them you'll have them for as long as you live."

It was why Gray himself sketched when ever he could. Those sketches were his memories. People he knew, places he's been, things he saw...he drew. Cause for Gray. To be forgotten is to of never existed and that seemed like a cruel thing to do to someone.

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