InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Mah spoon is too big"

Mad Hatter (hattermadness) wrote in mirage_rpg,
@ 2008-06-27 11:21:00

Entry tags:

arrival, austin powers, complete, day 5, mad hatter

Day Five
Who: Hatter & Austin Powers
When: mid-morning
What: his arrival
Where: outside
Rating: PG-ish (talk of beheading and such.)
Status: Complete

“Oh, I do love -- whatever this place is.”

The Hatter sat up straight and slid to the edge of his chair in excitement at seeing his Wonderland tea party melt away into some strange new land -- every single bit of that last statement would have been odd to others, in part because his land had been replaced -- or perhaps he had been replaced, though the land seemed more likely as he hadn’t moved -- but mostly because there was no chair to be sliding to the edge too. There had been moments ago, pulled up close to the long table in his garden, with his bottom planted quite comfortably atop it. However, now there was nothing but air, and yet he sat as surely as ever on a chair of his own imagining until imagination was no longer strong enough to keep his legs from shaking slightly under the effort and giving out. Hatter was rather disappointed in the limbs, though they were right -- the grass beneath him was more comfortable, and inarguably more reliable then mere air -- but their act of weakness almost cost him his tea. The liquid had splashed up in his cup as he’d fell, but thankfully only lost a precious few droplets.

“This place best have tea.” He warned, looking at the earth beneath him expectantly before finishing the contents of his mug. After which he placed the empty carrier of liquids on his head, secured there by the hat place over it, and started on his way towards the building nearest him.

“Alice, dear -- is this your land?” Hatter called, pausing for an instant to regard his black painted nails. “What was an Alice again? I should have to recall if this is indeed the world of such things.” Shoulders rose and fell, interest in the matter fading at the sight of rock creatures walking about as bold as day. What right had rocks to walk when they had remained so still for as long as he could remember?

“YOU THERE! ROCK of mortal proportions!” His voice carried far enough that the golem did pause, most anyone would as he’d gone from yelling to a more acceptable tone in a matter of seconds. The creature motioned for him to follow, and the Hatter nodded agreeably only to turn and wander off, having spotted something more interesting elsewhere.

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hattermadness
2008-06-29 08:19 pm UTC (link)

The hatter looked down at the hand gripping his arm curiously, then to the even more curious looking man that hand was attached too. A black and bright blue painted eyebrow rose, gaze drawn to his chest. The man's chest was hairier then any he'd ever seen, even that of the March Hare who had hair in his very name. Not only that, but the man had called him 'mate' which was not even close to his name.

"Well naturally. I couldn't very well introduce you we've only just met." He commented at the odd mention of introducing himself. "The Hatter." He replied, though still staring with a confused expression, flickering over his clothes for an instant. "It hardly grooves, though once I found a borogove in it."

His black striped suit was common enough, with a bright blue vest beneath the jacket that matched his eyes, and curious green shoes made of rath skin, the sole and heel made of the bones of the creature with tea cups etched into it.

"I've no desire to follow any rock. What right have they to galumph about with the stolen appearance of another creature? The queen ought to behead them." Hatter stated very matter of fact, as he was led about by this strange Austin fellow. Very like Alice, he thought, recalling the girl now.

Once in the courtyard he was offered a key, placing it under his hat as well, otherwise ignoring the golem. Wretched creature. The stone tablet was given a once over, but the Hatter hardly cared. He was clearly not bothered by the fact that he'd been dragged from his home world, or how it had happened. He had his hat and tea cup. That was all that mattered.

"I should like some tea." He said, pulling the cup from his hat, pleased when a second of the rock men strode forward with a kettle, pouring him some tea. "Lovely." The Hatter breathed in the smell of the warm liquid, taking a sip before taking the whole pot, and returning his attention to Austin.

"What powers have you got, Austin?" He asked, apparently confusing the man's last name. After all, no one in Wonderland had surnames, and while Alice had had one, she was of another world of which he had little exposer too. Shortly after asking he started walking again, no direction in particular, just drinking his tea, and moving along...

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yeah_baby_yeah
2008-06-29 09:25 pm UTC (link)

"Right. Er, Hatter. Nice to meet you." Austin was slightly confused by the seemingly incomprehensible chatter. What came out of the Hatter's mouth didn't make any sense to Austin. He really had nothing to say to much of what the Hatter said, and could do nothing but continue to guide the man toward the courtyard where the tablet was.

"You know, that's a good question. I don't know what right they have, but they do. Nothing we can do about it." Austin's eyes slid toward the tall man and he nearly asked who his queen was because as far as he knew the Queen of England no longer beheaded people.

He watched as the key was stowed beneath the Hatter's hat and as the tablet was nearly disregarded. He wasn't sure if the man had even read most of what was on there. But, that was his problem. And the fascination was etched onto his face when a golem was ready with a teapot for the man when he requested tea. He should have to try that sometime!

"Well, I've got my mojo, baby." The fact that the man had misinterpreted his name was lost on him. Austin had only begun to speak when the man wandered off again. "Ooop. Let's find your room." Austin hopped after him, catching hold of his arm once more. "You'll need that key you stowed beneath your cap, Hatter."

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hattermadness
2008-06-29 09:44 pm UTC (link)

"I could behead them myself if the queen is absent, but I haven't the tools." He wondered if rocks could feel, and supposed there was no reason why they shouldn't if they could make themselves a body. The block had made mention of providing what he required, perhaps it could offer him an ax? Of course that also brought up the idea of killing -- could a rock man be considered living? A statue was not living, and they seemed to be close enough, but similarly oysters did not often move but were quite alive, and able to be killed. Of course, he was hardly concerned about the consequences of killing. In fact, he was quite curious what the planet would do in retaliation.

He'd almost forgotten about Austin, but the man grasped his arm once more. It was a habit that the Hatter was appreciating less and less, as well as being called such odd things. "I am neither called mate or baby, as I mentioned, I am the Hatter and should be addressed as such!" The dark haired male insisted, sounding a touch insulted. His anger dissipated quickly at the use of his name, and he gave a small nod. Finishing the last of the tea in his cup, he placed it back under his hat, and held the key instead.

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yeah_baby_yeah
2008-06-29 09:58 pm UTC (link)

"I'm fairly certain the queen is absent, although I'm not so sure you would be able to behead them yourself. They're quite strong, you see." Austin didn't really want to keep touching the man, but he didn't see any other option. He felt like if he stepped in front of him, he would sidestep and keep walking, or turn and walk in another direction.

He looked a little taken aback at the tone the Hatter took at being called baby. "Right. Sorry. Hatter it is." Austin peered at the key taken from beneath the hat and took note of the room number. "It's this way, then." He released his hold on the Hatter, telling himself that if man disliked being touched, and couldn't follow simple directions, then Austin had no reason to continue helping him.

Perhaps the man didn't want help. That was an option Austin was starting to consider, so he made up his mind. The next time the man wandered off, he was on his own and Austin would go back to what he had been doing before. He started heading for the lodging unit where the Hatter's room was, looking back to see if he was being followed.

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hattermadness
2008-06-29 10:26 pm UTC (link)

"Strong...Yes, that could be troublesome." He shrugged and fell to whistling a pleasant tune as he followed along behind Austin. Actually, not quite pleasant, as the tune was shortly given lyrics, but the Hatter sang in an upbeat sort of way. "One, two! One, two! and through and through, the vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head...He went galumphing back."

He only stopped when a door was reached that matched the number on his key, and promptly unlocked it and stepped inside. The room was just as odd as its new inhabitant. It was an over sized garden complete with mushrooms as tall as the two of them, flowers that grew so high that the stem hat to be bent, the flower was pressed against the ceiling, and the leaves were to be used as seats to the stone tables. A large tea table was set nicely for half a dozen guests. While on the other end of the room gears and metal bits grew out like plants, making him a large black four poster bed, beside wrought iron spirals rising seemingly uselessly out of the ground decorated with a number of hats of all shape and size.

"Lovely! Couldn't have done better myself."

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yeah_baby_yeah
2008-06-29 10:45 pm UTC (link)

The man was following. Good. He was quite strange, and Austin wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to tolerate such behavior. It was unintelligible and baffling. Not something Austin generally immersed himself in. Although, it wasn't totally foreign. He grimaced at the tune that had begun and even more so at the lyrics that soon followed. Frightening. Now the strange Hatter was frightening.

Austin stopped near the door as well, and peered over the Hatter's shoulder when he stepped inside. It was the strangest room Austin had ever seen. Like something he might have dreamed were he on some sort of hallucinogenic. It was a bad acid trip, that's what it was. He shook his head. Even his trippy room was nothing compared to this.

"Sure. Lovely. Whatever you say, Hatter." Austin was careful not to call the man anything other than Hatter. He didn't want to witness another tantrum. He stepped back and nodded. "Well. Be seeing you." He wanted to run, but he thought that might be a tad overdoing it. He really hoped he wouldn't be seeing the man around anytime soon. He was one odd bird.

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hattermadness
2008-06-29 11:02 pm UTC (link)

"Seeing me? Yes, well I should think so. Unless you go blind or I become invisible." He replied, going inside to set down the warm pot of tea he was still holding, and putting the key back under his hat with the cup. After which he set to inspecting the hats, approving of some, and chucking others over his shoulder.

The Hatter didn't understand that 'be seeing you' was meant to be a good bye. Of course, chances were if Austin simply turned and left the mad man probably wouldn't notice. He was currently more interested in the many hats, many many many hats, more hats then any man could possibly wear.

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