... Why am I getting spammed by links to New Age message boards? Ones that apparently carry viruses virii that get me into trouble on observing runs, no less. I didn't even know that printer worked any more.

Fine, I logged in, and I'm copying down details to send to your ISP. Once I find your ISP... Now can I go back to ignoring this? Grad students don't get summers off, and I'm in hot water with IT already.