I just wanted to thank you guys for helping me yesterday. I should have said something then, but...I guess I was in shock and not thinking clearly, so I'm sorry for that. It's a wonderful thing to have friends such as you all, and knowing that you'll come running without question...I can't begin to tell you how much that means to me, even if I tried for the rest of my life.

The man that died yesterday was a good one, so much better than myself, and even though I only knew him for a few short hours, I'll miss him. And, with my reaction to his death, it only makes me wonder what will happen to me if I ever hurt one of you. This has to stop. And soon. I can't risk putting another person I care about in danger. I know this isn't going to be pleasant for me - hell, for any of us - but please. We have to figure out a way to get this son of a bitch out of me before I do something else terrible.

I love you all, and trust you endlessly (yes, even you, Julian). I just can't wait until things can go back to the way they're supposed to be. Thank you, again. From the bottom of my heart.

~Ailsa